Category: Fanfiction (Page 5 of 16)

Loki chuckled softly at the images that his water glass reflected, he had scry for Leah as soon as he found himself alone in Fury´s office. Luckily the sleepover was well advance when he casted the spell and caught a glimpse of Thor getting his hair braided by Natasha which caused everyone to laugh heartedly.

“You know you can´t do that once we start the mission.” Fury dryly told him catching Loki off-guard.

Loki grunted annoyed as he dissolved the images “I know.”

“I sure hope so, you´d better not do that again unless you want doom to find out she´s still alive.” Fury nagged him.

“Dammit Fury! I know!” He snapped furiously, almost immediately he changed his tone. “I … I just had to see her, make sure she was all right.”

“And is she?” Fury asked hopefully.

“It seem so, yes.” Loki admitted still a bit unsure.

“then stop worrying. We are leaving within the hour; you need to concentrate in the task at hand.” Looking at Loki´s indecision he added. “The sooner we finish this mission the sooner you´ll get back to her.”

“You´re right.” Loki agreed. “Let´s get this over with.” With that he raised from the chair he had been sitting on and walked out of the room towards the hangar.

Fury smirked and followed him out; all the members of their team were already on board. The only members from SHIELD in the Quinjety were himself and the pilot Melinda May; he had borrowed her from Coulson´s team for a couple of days.

“I don´t like this sir.” She had told him when he recruited her for the mission. “What if something goes wrong?”

“If something goes wrong I want you to run straight back to Coulson, he will need your help.” Fury told her sternly.

“But, Sir….” Melinda started to say when she was abruptly interrupted by Fury. “No buts agent, you will do as you´re told.” He reprimanded her harshly.

“Yes Sir.” She agreed reluctantly with a scowl, getting in a mission with 9 villains even if one of them was allegedly reformed was a very bad idea on her book.

“Agent May.” Loki greeted her formally as they approached the Quinjet; her feelings about him weren’t any secret.

“Loki.” She greeted him back seriously, she still had her doubts about his change of heart. “Sir.# She greeted fury next.

“Is everything ready?” Fury asked her quickly.

“Yes, all of our … guests are already on board.” She informed him dissaprovingly.

“Are you going to give me any trouble agent?” Fury glared at her sombrely.

“No sir.” Melinda adamantly responded.

“Good, now loose the attitude. You don´t have to like the mission to get it done.” Fury admonished her.

“Yes Sir, we are ready to depart at your command.” Melinda informed him.

“And our special guest?” Loki scowled as he heard fury ask her that; the special guest was no other than Doom. He hadn´t seen him since that day, when he …killed her; and now he would have to work with him.

Fury noticed Loki´s discomfort and reminded him. “Remember our deal, I´ll give you what I want if you give me what I want. And right now Doom alive and in one piece is part of what I want.”

“You should just let me kill him.” Loki spat enraged as her stared into fury´s eye who stood his stare without flinching. “Fine.” He finally snapped. “Have it your way, but remember if he betrays us he´s mine.”

“Agreed.” Fury accepted then turned back his attention to Melinda who had been watching their disagreement attentively.

“He´s in the front as you required.” She quickly informed him.

“Let´s go then.” Fury ordered them.

Both Melinda and Loki agreed disgruntledly, this was a mission they both wished they had skipped.

As Loki walked into the Quinjet he could see all of his new teammates already on board, some of them were checking their seatbelts, while others were lively talking about shared adventures, weapons or whatever was in their minds at the moment. On the farthest corner he could see Doom´s figure already strapped to his seat; unconsciously his jaw tightened as his fists clenched up. It was the first time they saw each other after the battle in the tower; Loki kept reminding himself why he couldn´t just kill him right there. You´re doing it for Leah, just think about Eerika, they need you back, remember the deal. With a final furious grudgeful glare he turned to an empty seat next to the Quinjet´s loading ramp; he planned to keep as furthest away from Doom as he could, if not he might be tempted to … a maniacal evil grin appeared on his face reflecting much better than words could what was in his mind; if anyone could´ve heard his thoughts …

“You´re not going to salute me Loki Laufeyson?” A sarcastic loud voice snapped him out of his machinations, it was doom´s.

“The only manner I wish to greet you is with a blade through your back, you coward.” Loki growled back as his fists clenched up again; did Doom has a death wish? Cause if he wasn´t careful he might just get his wish true.

Everyone went silence; eager to find out the source of such animosity.

“Are you still mad at me for killing your pet?” Doom mocked him unconcerned.

“She was not my pet!” Loki spat back furiously as he stood up.

“I´m sorry, your mistress then? Or maybe I just should go with stud mare?” Doom kept taunting him.

Loki´s hand´s flared up magically the instant he heard Doom´s crude remark; only the constant reminder of Leah´s nervous breakdown kept him from annihilating Doom right that instant.

“You killed her!” Was Loki´s response through clenched teeth; it didn’t matter if they had luckily been successful at bringing her back, the fact was that Doom had killed Leah, he had killed his sweet brave girl who had put herself on the line just to keep him and their daughter safe; she had fought as hard as she could knowing all the time that she couldn´t succeed only to be cowardly shot out of spite the moment he had vanquished Doom.

“I think we already have established that.” Doom answer somehow annoyed. “Get over it!”

Loki blanched with rage. Get over it? How dared he? Without a second thought he hurried to close the gap between himself and Doom only to be cut off by Dr Octopus who step between them with his mechanical arms.

“I don´t know what´s going on between you too nor do I care, but your little quarrel is jeopardizing the reward SHIELD have promised me for taking part on this mission.”

Before he ended his phrase both Venom and chameleon had step between them too. “Ours too.” They added almost at unison.

Doom let out a sly laugh that infuriated Loki even more.

“If you want me to respect our deal you´ll stop that right this instant Doom.” An unamused voice sounded behind him, it was Fury´s. The strife had call his attention.

Doom stopped laughing instantly and barely answered in a tone that resembled a child that has grown bored with his toy. “If you insist.”

“I insist.” Fury adamantly asseverated, then added. “The same goes for all of you, get back to your seats, we are leaving.”

Loki growled annoyed by the interference and glared Fury angrily without moving an inch.

“You heard me Loki, get back to your seat. If you want your child to be safe you will do as you´re told.” Fury menaced him, it was in their best interest to keep Loki´s change of sides unknown to all for as long as they could; his new team mates might not take it kindly, even Doom could only speculate about who´s side Loki was in due to the recent events.

Loki expression changed from furious to concerned, Fury had been right to remind him the real reason he was doing it.

“You can have that pathetic snivelling bastard.” He finally spat as he turned back to his seat.

“What? You…!” Doom complained only to be silenced by Fury´s disapproving glare.

When Loki reached his seat a question welcomed him. “You have a kid?” It was Sandman, who had taken the seat next to him.

“A daughter if you must know.” Loki volunteered, he knew that Sandman being the only member of the Sinister Six with a kid would most likely sympathize with him immediately. He didn´t knew for sure but he suspected he might need to align their allegiances towards him regarding Doom.

“How old is she?” Sandman asked again, he had a daughter himself.

“Three weeks.” Loki answered with a sigh, everything had changed in such a little time.

Sandman opened his mouth shocked, that meant Doom had killed his daughter´s mother. “I’m sorry.” He finally said.

“Me too.” Loki agreed heavy hearted.

“Was she your wife?” Another voice asked; it was Octopus; he had overheard their conversation.

“No.” Loki dryly answered then shrugged his shoulders as heh added. “But who knows, she might have been … someday.” Octavius’s wife had died, why not rally his sympathies too?

Surprisingly a third voice stated. “she was the pretty girl in the Tower, wasn´t she?” It was Eddie Brooke, he had reassumed his human appearance. “Pregnant with a hell of an attitude.” He added.

“Yes, it was her.” Loki smirked, it was a good way to describe her. “She´s … was a handful.” He corrected himself as his expression changed to a sad one; you need to talk of her as is he was dead, he reminded himself mentally.

Octavius looked at him sympathetically, he knew first hand that people tended to forget to talk about their loved ones in past tense.

“What was she doing with the Avenger´s?” Chameleon asked suspiciously.

His question caught Loki off-guard; discussing his love-life with that special crowd was not what he had in mind, he made a small scowl as he rubbed his chin. “Mm … that´s a … long story.” He finally ended purposely trying to look uncomfortable hoping they would let it go.

“I think we have the time, it´s bound to be a long flight.” Electro added; it seemed they were all curious about what had lead former allies to become such obvious enemies.

“Damm!” Loki cursed mentally, he would have to change some facts, especially the details about changing sides as well as omitting as much as he could of the story; specifically, the details about him changing sides. “I don´t want to bore you.” He answered in a half-voice.

“Rhino wants to know.” A voice with a strong Russian accent said suddenly.

“Of course you want to know, your love life amounts to zero.” Mysterio mocked him.

“That´s not true. Ladies find Rhino attractive. I get letters when I´m in jail.” Rhino defended himself.

“He does.” Electro asseverate, under everyone´s surprised stares he shrugged his shoulders as he added. “Don´t ask me why, I don´t understand it myself.”

For a moment everyone talked at the same moment volunteering their own theories about it until Chameleon interrupted them. “Never mind. Are you going to tell us or not Loki?”

Everyone´s silence showed they agreed with Chamaleon.

“If you insist, don´t say I didn´t warned you.” Loki accepted unhappily and proceed to tell them about how he met Leah, what happened between them and how he tried to send her away by delivering her to the Avenger´s.

“You really just let her in SHIELD´s hands?” Sandman asked surprised.

“I didn´t knew she was pregnant at the time.” Loki defended himself.

“And if you had known what would you have done?” Chameleon asked him interested.

“I don´t know.” Loki answered. “What would any of you done in my place?”

“Not deliver her to your enemy for starters.” Eddie volunteered.

“For the last time I was trying to send her to my brother.” Loki spat angered, what gave them the right to criticize him?

“So, now he´s your brother?” Electro asked.

Loki sighed annoyed. “He has always been my brother as much as I hate to admit it. I knew he would protect her.”

“I assume he eventually did.” Octavius volunteered. “She was in the Tower.”

“For all the good it did to her.” Loki scowled eyeing Doom.

“Don´t let us hanging Loki, tell us the rest of the story.” Eddie urged him.

Loki couldn´t fathom why they all were so interested; it must be a human thing he concluded.

Loki reassumed his story alleging he was fooling the avenger´s about changing sides so he would be able to get his lover and daughter back while in the process getting their aid to fight the once unknown threat against them; and how everything went wrong when doom attacked.

“And now, you keep pretending or are you changing sides for real this time?” Chamaleon asked sternly.

“Just until it serves my purposes.” Loki volunteered in a low voice, then he added. “I´m not going to lose her like I did her mother. No matter what it takes. “He hoped that should clarify that his allegiances were with himself as they always had.

“Why didn´t you just took your daughter and went back to Asgard?” Mysterio asked.

“And do what? Hide as a commoner? Besides Odin´s justice is both cruel and imaginative; I’d rather take my chances with Fury any day.” Loki spat back, he wasn´t lying about that.

“You sound scared of this Odin dude.” Eddie half-mocked him.

“You would be too if you had seen what I have.” Loki volunteered. “Or … experienced it.” A slight tremor ran through his voice; no one was eager to ask what he meant by that, except for Octavius.

“About that … I´ve always have meant to ask you about the veracity of Norse mythology.” He asked unashamedly. “Especially the myths regarding your person, I find them rather disturbing actually, is it true that …”

To Loki´s relief Fury interrupted them. “We are half an hour from the drop point. I suggest you stop your knitting meeting and concentrate.”

Loki frowned, he didn´t understood the reference but he had the distinct impression Fury had insulted them. Either way he was relieved he didn´t had to go with Octopus over the non-sense myths ancient humans had invented about them; most of them were lies … most of them anyway, and the one´s that weren’t … well they had fell short.

“If he wasn´t paying us a King´s ransom I´d feed him his words.” Eddie grunted while turning back into Venom.

“Back to work.” Mysterio added checking his gear and walking back to his seat as everyone.

Loki kept sitting eying angrily at Doom until Octavius interrupted his thoughts. “Unfortunately you´ll have to forget about your quarrel with Doom.” Then he added in a low voice. “At least until the mission is done.”

Loki nodded his head in agreement; he was right, that he couldn´t deal with Doom right there didn´t meant he wouldn´t be able to … eventually.

“This is it.” Leah thought to herself. “Please don´t screw this up! Whatever you do, don´t cry!” She bit her lower lip nervously as everyone said both farewells and advices to Loki; every piece of advice made her feel even more anxious. If everything was going to be all right why so many take care and don´t do that. She didn´t knew what to do with herself, she knew all her telltales and was making a conscious effort to avoid them all. “Keep breathing, don´t start shaking, don´t cry, stop biting your fingers, no, no, no, don´t stuff your hands in your pockets… it looks even worse. And for the love of God smile, no, no like that … no teeth, casual, Leah get real that looks so fake, loosen up.” She had been practicing on the mirror over and over; she was determined to avoid making a scene even if her heart felt like it was breaking.

She had been so concentrated she almost didn´t heard Loki asking. “Are you sure you are going to be all right without me?”

“Of course I am.” She answered wearing her best fake smile. “I … I just want to apologize for making you worry so much. I understand now why you have to do this … I´ve been a fool, haven´t I?” She looked at him apologetic; she didn´t had to fake that part.

“You just weren´t yourself. I´m glad you´re feeling better now.” He smiled warmly at her. “Are you really sure you are going to be all right?”

Leah smiled back at him. “You make it sound as If I was the one leaving on a mission and not you. Stop worrying! We´ll be fine.” She volunteered kindly.

“Yes Loki, we´ll take care of them. Don´t worry.” Tony added putting his arm protectively over Leah´s shoulder.

“See, we´ll be fine. Just concentrate on coming back soon.” Leah told him.

“That I will.” Loki responded eyeing jealousy at Tony.

“If you don´t mind.” He told Tony while snatching Leah from his side. “We´ll need a moment.”

“Of course.” Steve agreed while motioning everyone to the side so Loki could have a word with Leah in private.

“I´ll come back as soon as I can.” Loki told her sincerely. “Are you sure you are going to be all right?”

Leah felt a knot on her stomach every time he asked her that; disregarding her nauseas she answered. “I´m the one who should be asking you that.”

“That was so smooth Leah… really! Why don’t you just tell him that you´re not going to be all right?” She kept reminding herself to avoid getting into a fight with him.

“I´ll be fine.” Loki just brushed her comment off. “It´s you I´m worried about. After what you told me last night …”

Leah interrupted him before he said another word, was he purposely telling her that just to see if she would break down? “I just wasn´t prepared to tell you, I never meant for you to find out. I´m sorry, please trust me Andrew is helping me a lot. I´m learning how to handle my emotions, I´ll be all right. You don´t need to worry about me. Just come home safe.” She hugged him. “Keep breathing Leah, keep breathing, no tears, just as you practiced.”

He hugged her back. “Home.” He repeated, it had been a long time since he had a place he could call home. “She seems all right” He thought. “No one could’ve guessed what happened last night. Will she be trying to fool me? No, I don´t think so I can´t see any of the anxiety signs; and after all I did pushed her too far.” He felt a pang of regret, he had provoked the whole incident.

“Yes, home.” She agreed snuggling against him as if she could retain a part of him somehow.

He tilted her chin up to see into her eyes, Leah smiled softly at him. “Don´t cry, don´t cry, please don´t cry, I know, think of… puppies ….no, no, no; that will get me crying even worse. Think Leah, think … yes … think of … Loki naked … oh, no! No, no! Don’t think about that right now …” A slight fluster ran through her cheeks. Looking into his eyes she could feel the entire world fading.

Loki smirked when he saw her blushing and ´passionately kissed her. “I´ll be home before you know it.” He volunteered. “Give Eerika a kiss for me every night please.”

His comment caught her off guard. “Good Lord no… Leah don´t.” She bitted her lower lip hard while trying to avoid her misty eyes of becoming a torrent.

Loki noticed her mood change and worriedly asked her. “Are you all right?”

Leah sniffed as she dried a single tear that had outrun her best efforts. “Yes, I´m sorry … it´s just that … I´m going to miss you so much.” It wasn´t a lie, the idea of sleeping alone again was almost unbearable. “I´ve got used to waking up by your side; I´m going to miss you terribly.” She told him while looking into his eyes. “Please Loki, don´t say anything else.” She pleaded mentally, she had almost lost it; and she didn’t felt strong enough to stop the pour of emotions that was building up again.

“I know, I´m going to miss you too.” He confessed lovingly, she did seem all right; for a moment he thought she was going to break down but she didn´t; he felt relieved. Then he mischievously whispered in her ear. “I´ll be back as soon as I can to warm up your bed.”

Leah blushed shyly as she did her best effort not to burst laughing; Loki smiled with a big grin on his face, it was so fun to make her blush.

Suddenly he changed into a serious manner. “It´s time love. I have to go, but I promise I´ll come back as soon as I can. Don´t worry about a thing. Take care of Eerika and yourself, all right?” She was right, he made it sound like she was the one leaving; he should start following his own advice and stop worrying. After all he was going to have a lot on his mind the next couple of days.

“I will if you do.” Leah answered as she had read his thought.

“It´s a deal.” Loki agreed. “Let´s join the others.”

Leah nodded affirmatively as she tentatively reached for his hand, Loki smiled at her loving gesture and hold her hand in his as they walked back to the Avengers.

“Take good care of them please.” He asked to all while looking directly at Thor.

“We will brother, come back soon.” Thor volunteered.

Loki kissed Leah gently once more before letting go, the next second he was gone.

The silence that followed was interrupted by a loud sob coming from Leah, she covered her face with one of her hands; bawling like a child she just ran past them towards her room. She didn’t wanted them to see her cry like that.

“Wait! Leah!” Thor called her worried. “What happened…? I thought she was all right.”

“And that´s what she wanted Loki to think Thor.” Natasha volunteered.

“How do you know that?” Clint asked her with a frown.

“Well, you gave her all those files to read back in the tower Clint; what do you think?” Natasha responded wryly.

“Hell no! Please tell me you didn´t.” Clint spat nodding his head in disbelief.

“She asked me to; considering both outcomes I chose the lesser evil.” Natasha confessed.

“What are you two taking about? What did Leah asked you?” Tony intervened frustrated by their evasive conversation.

“As a spy you get in undercover missions all the time. Your life depends on how convincing you are while selling your story… she wanted me to teach her how to do that.” Natasha volunteered.

“So she could deceive Loki.” Tony spat bewildered. “I can´t believe it! You seriously taught her to lie?”

“What did you wanted me to do? To refuse her? Do you really think that breaking apart like she just did would help either her or Loki? He need to focus on the mission, and he wouldn´t be able to do so if he saw her like that. She knew it, but she also knew she wasn’t ready, so yes, I taught her how. Did all of you really expected her to be all right after just one week on therapy? It´s not fair! I had to help her!” Natasha bitterly acknowledged; no wonder she always ended putting her down when they always demanded too much of her.

“Should we call Andrew?” Bruce tentatively suggested.

“What? No! Give the woman a break!” tony buffed angrily. “Have you seen her after a therapy session? She practically drags herself to bed. No! She need to relax, to forget everything even if it´s just for as moment.”

“and how do you propose to do that? Drinking away like you do?” Natasha interrupted him annoyed.

“I …” Tony began to reply angrily at her remark when Steve interrupted them.

“do you realise that while we are arguing she´s all alone?”

“Fuck!” tony cursed out loud; Steve was right. It wasn´t the right time for them to be arguing.

“We´d better look for her.” Thor suggested concerned.

“No, I´ll do it. I made this mess I´ll fix it.” Natasha volunteered.

“Now that you have taught her to deceive; how can you be sure she won´t try to deceive us to think she´s all right?” Clint asked her dryly.

“Because she promised.” Natasha confessed.

“Really Nat? You´re just going to take her word on that.” Clint answered sarcastically.

“Clint, if she wanted to deceive us she would´ve waited until she was alone to break down. She knows she need help, that´s why she didn´t even try to hide it.and yes, I trusth her; so I will take her word on it.” Natasha asseverated. “I´ll talk to her.” With that she started walking towards Leah´s room.

Tony considered ir for a few moments before starting walking in the same direction Natasha had gone.

“Wait tony! Where are you going?” Steve stopped him.

“I don´t know about you, but I’m going to see Leah.” He volunteered firmly decided.

“Natasha said she´s going to talk to her, give them a moment.” Steve suggested.

“I don’t want to give them a moment. My friend is hurting and I want to be with her. I want her to know I care.” Tony spat angrily. “Are you coming Doc?”

“If you are I guess I’d better join you.” Bruce volunteered. “Even if it´s just to stop you from doing something foolish.”

“Why do you always assume I´m going to do something stupid? Expect for you I have the highest IQ in the room.” Tony huffed irritated.

“What is an IQ?” Thor discretely asked Clint.

“Something that tells you how smart you are.” Clint answered quickly.

“He´s calling us dumb?” Thor asked irritated while raising his voice.

Tony ignored Thor´s question as he started walking again. Thor considered his options for a moment before telling Clint and Steve. “I’m going too; I have a promise to keep.”

“Wait Thor, I´m coming with you.” Clint hurriedly added.

Steve stood alone for a moment watching everyone walk away before angrily buffing while nodding his head in disapproval before walking to join them.

Meanwhile Natasha had arrived at Leah’s room, as she leaned to knock on the door she could hear Leah´s sobbing’s and kindly asked “Leah, may I come in?” She really didn´t waited an answer and was surprised to hear a whining yes. When she walked in she could see Leah crying with her face buried in a pillow while lying over the bed. Natasha sat by her side and gently touched her back while asking “Are you all right?” She knew she wasn´t , but she couldn´t think of a better way to initiate a conversation.

“I … just … didn´t … thought … it … was … going … to … be … so … hard!!” Leah confessed between sobs.

“I know, just let it go. If you need to cry just do it.” Natasha kindly suggested.

“You must all think I´m being silly.” Leah said sniffling.

“We would never think that. As a matter of fact I think it´s normal for you to be so upset; after all for you it´s the first mission he has ever gone to; although …”

“Although what, Natasha?” Leah asked anxiously.

“Loki is one of the best warriors I have ever met; and don’t you forget he has taken on us all more than once and we weren´t able to capture him before. Plus he is a great sorcerer, he should be all right. He´ll be back before you know it.” Natasha volunteered.

Leah sniffled as she confessed Natasha. “I don´t want to sleep alone … I´m scared to.”

When Tony arrived at the door he raised his hand to knock but overheard Natasha and Leah talking and just lingered there overhearing their conversation. Within seconds everyone had joined him.

“What are you…?” Bruce started to ask before being shushed by Tony.

“I’m trying to listen.” Tony whispered.

“Shouldn´t we knock?” Thor asked Clint worryingly.

“Thor, I can´t hear. Keep it down!” Tony spat annoyed.

“What are you all doing eavesdropping?” Steve admonished them.

“What did she said?” Bruce asked Tony, he had missed on their conversation due to all the noise outside.

“Something about being scared of sleeping alone.” Clint responded.

“I might be able to help you with that. How about we have a girl’s night? I can sleep with you if you want. That way you wouldn´t be alone.”

Leah cleaned her running nose with her sleeve as she nodded affirmatively. “I would like that.”

“How about a sleep over?” Tony burst in suddenly making everyone but Steve to fall to the ground; they had all been leaning on the door trying to listen.

“What the hell are you all doing?” Natasha spat enraged. “You were eavesdropping on us?”

“Technically…” Tony accepted without any shame. “But admit it, my idea is better than yours; girl’s night …” Tony buffed. “No, a sleep over is way more fun; we can do all sort of fun things.”

“Fun things?” Natasha snarled. “Somehow I doubt it.”

“Come on Natasha, don’t be so uptight!” Tony wryly teased her.

“I´m not uptight.” She growled annoyed. “Why do I keep forgetting I live with a bunch of frat guys!” she complained bitterly.

“Who are you calling a frat guy? For your information …” Tony raised his voice hurt by her comment.

Their discussion was interrupted by the best sound they have heard in a good while; the sound of Leah laughing full hearted. The scene had been hilarious, Thor Clint and Bruce sprawled on the floor looking embarrassed while Natasha and Tony argued disregarding them completely. Steve looked the scene totally amused as he tried to refrain form laughing.

Natasha and Tony turned their heads to see Leah before busted laughing themselves.

“You see?” Tony told Natasha when he finished laughing. “We´ve only been here a couple of minutes and she´s already laughing. What do you say Natasha, sleepover?”

Natasha sighed defeated, still smiling she answered. “If Leah wants.”

“I´d like that.” Leah acknowledged.

“Perfect!” Tony cheered while walking over Bruce, Clint and Thor before motioning them to follow. “Come on guys, we need supplies, and also something we can use to expand the bed.”

“Did he just said?” Leah asked Natasha in disbelief.

“Yes, I’m afraid he did.” Natasha answered jokingly, it was going to be a fun night; that was a certainty.

Just then Eerika’s cry could be heard over the baby monitor that rested over the night stand.

“I´d better go check on her.” Leah acknowledged.

When she got back Tony and the rest had moved a single bed into the room and were manoeuvring to position so they could expand the king size bed.

“He wasn´t kidding.” Leah said surprised.

“He almost never is.” Steve agreed. “Are you sure you are all right with this? It´s bound to get a little crazy.”

“I don’t mind, maybe I need a little crazy, either way I don´t want to sleep alone.” Leah confessed shyly.

Steve looked at her moved by her words and warmly put his arm over her shoulders as he reassured her. “Don´t worry kiddo. It seems you won´t have to, at least tonight.”

The sleepover went almost uneventful, except for Tony trying to outsmart everyone while playing truth or dare, which incidentally ended with Thor having his hair braided, Bruce having his nails done and Steve dancing at the sound of Gangnam Style. Clint refused to participate on the dares and resigned to tell the truth whenever it was his turn. “By the looks of it I might end up with my hair dyed blue or something like that.” He jokingly told Leah.

They ate pizza and popcorn until everyone was stuffed and ended up falling asleep while watching a movie marathon of Star Wars which gave Steve a chance to cross something of his list.

Early in the morning Leah rolled off Tony’s embrace and suddenly found herself resting her head an arms in an unfamiliar chest; the moment she realised it wasn´t Loki she gave a small jump opening her eyes startled only to find Thor staring back at her; she blushed instantly as she whispered. “I´m sorry.” Then she started to slowly rolling off his chest.

“Don´t be.” Thor whispered back which made Leah stop doubtful as Thor added. “Dr. Garner is right; we can´t keep avoiding each other.”

“I know.” Leah admitted. “I just don´t know how, I´m so sorry. I never meant to mislead you, I genuinely tried to love you, but …”

“The heart has a mind of its own.” Thor ended her phrase.

“Yes.” Leah acknowledged. “I´m sorry I hurt you, I´m a terrible friend.” She sniffed as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Thor reached for her face and dried the tear gently with his fingers. “Don´t cry; Loki hates to see you cry, and so do I.”

“Can you ever forgive me?” Leah asked nervously. “Even if I don’t deserve it?”

Thor smiled kindly at her as he asked in return. “Why wouldn´t you deserve it?”

“I don’t know.” She acknowledged nervously. “I just feel like I don’t.”

“Leah, you have done what I thought was impossible, you reunited Loki and me. He finally changed his ways and I ow it all to you. You gave me my little brother back; whatever pain you caused me doesn´t compare to that joy. You also gave him a beautiful daughter and me an amazing niece. Even if Loki is too slow to ask for your hand I already consider you my sister. Whatever wrongs have passed between us I choose to forgive and forget them, would you do the same?” He told her with complete sincerity.

Leah was taken back by his words, she had never thought he would be so willing to forgive her. She tried to refrain her tears unsuccessfully as she told him. “I would.”

Thor smiled as he hugged her tight. “It´s ok little sister; whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, you can rely on mine.”

Leah sobbed for a while until the warmth of Thor´s embrace comforted her, then she raised her head and told him open hearted. “Someday you´ll make a lucky woman very happy thor.”

“I sure hope so.” Thor acknowledged.

“I know so.” Leah added. “Your urd lies somewhere, you just need to find her.”

Thor smiled as he asked her. “Did Loki taught you that word?”

“Urd?” Leah asked back. “Yes, he said it meant destiny, and something about the Norn’s carving something in Yggdrasil. “

“Yes, the ancient goddesses carve on the roots of Yggdrasil the destiny of every child. Did he told you were his urd?” He asked pleasantly surprised.

“Yes.” Leah acknowledged.

“He really loves you.” Thor asseverated. “ Destiny doesn´t mean the same to us than to you, what the Norns carve on Yggdrasil can and is changed by our actions in the present reflecting on our past than in return change our present. “

Leah looked at him totally confused by his explanation.

Thor noticed her confusion and added. “What I meant to say is that he wants you to be his urd; that he actively tries to keep you in his life. I´m surprised he hasn’t asked you to marry him already.”

“I don´t think I would make good wife material right now.” Leah bitterly told him.

“Nonsense.” Thor brushed her comment off. “He´ll get to it, eventually. That I promise you.”

Leah smiled warmly at Thor´s comment, it didn´t matter if Loki ever got around to ask her; as long as he returned safely to her she would feel blessed.

After they ended taking Leah rolled over to Tony’s side again; she was beginning to dose off when Tony playfully poked her ribs with his elbow.

As she questioning opened her eyes she found Tony smirking back at her. “So, you finally made peace with your brother-in-law?” He jokingly teased her.

Leah pouted pretending to be offended. “Oh, shut up!”

“Only if you give me a hug little sister.” He kept teasing her.

“Jealous?” Leah teased him back.

Tony turned to face her and hugged her tightly. “Not at all.” Next he kissed her forehead. “Now try to get some sleep before Eerika wakes up again.”

“All right, I will.” Leah agreed. “And … Tony?”

“Yes?” He asked her back.

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

Tony smiled warmly. “Don´t mention it love. Seeing you smile again is payment enough.”

“So, what do you think Andrew? Can I trust her with a team?” Fury asked sternly.

“As long as you don´t put her on the field, I think you can.” Andrew volunteered to the image appearing on the hidden communication device.

“What if she makes that decision herself?” Fury asked worryingly.

“If she does, you´re not the one who should be worried.” Andrew answered wryly.

“What do you mean?” Fury asked taken by surprise by his answer.

“She doesn´t wants to get into another battle, she´s scared to; and not without good reason. Also there´s the matter of Eerika, she won´t risk her becoming an orphan. With that said, if she decides to get in the field it will be only because she has the complete certainty she will succeed.” Andrew explained, no hell as a woman´s wrath had never been truer.

“All right. I hope that it won´t be necessary, but I´ll leave sealed instructions for her to take over Coulson’s team should we fail.” Fury revealed, he would make Coulson her right hand. He couldn´t think of a better team; Leah had the drive, Coulson the experience.

“You won´t tell Coulson?” Andrew asked surprised.

“No, he doesn´t need to know unless …” Fury stopped considering his next words.

“Unless everything goes wrong.” Andrew finished his sentence for him. “I think you are taking a big risk leaving everyone in the dark about this mission Nick.”

“Not everyone Andrew. Besides you know the drill; need to know basis. And for now … they don´t need to know.” Fury elaborated, he had kept the whole operation in the dark, only a handful of people knew about the real purpose of the mission.

“Are you sure she´s not going to have another nervous breakdown the minute loki leaves?” Fury asked again, it seemed too little time for Leah to had make such a progress.

“I´ll admit I´m a little surprised myself but after our rough start she had behaved like a perfect patient. She has done everything I´ve asked her to.” Andrew volunteered.

“are you sur she´s not just playing a part?” Fury asked concerned.

“Nick, I don’t tell you how to do your job …” Andrew responded irritated.

“And I’m not telling you how to do yours either.” Fury volunteered. “ I just want to know if you are sure.”

“I am.” Andrew asseverated.

“Then that´s enough for me.” Fury agreed, he could easily disregard the deal he had made with Leah, but his instincts told him against it. “Truthfully, what do you think of her?”

“She´s quiet an interesting woman, she was thrown into a world she´s still trying to figure out; but I think she will succeed in the end. Either way if all this works out as planned do not expect her to thank you for it.” Leah´s feelings about SHIELD ans specifically Fury were crystal clear on her mind, she abhorred them.

“That´s not what I´m asking Andrew and you know it.” Fury told him with a serious look.

“All right, If you insist.” Andrew huffed annoyed. “There´s nothing that could indicate mental instability due to the super soldier serum, she won´t turn into a full fledge psychopath if that´s what you are worried about. She´ll still has to deal with feelings of guilt and inadequacy but that´s almost a must among your top personal. Her tremors have diminished as well as the anxiety symptoms; but it will take her more than a week to get rid of them totally.”

Fury smirked, Andrew was right. Most top operatives had similar issues, it was a job hazard they had all come to accept. “It´s settled then.” Fury volunteered. “When the moment comes you´ll have to explain everything to both of them.”

Leah had dozed off in their room; her sessions with Andrew tended to leave her exhausted both emotionally and physically. When she woke up she found herself alone, she frowned upset; Loki wasn´t back yet.

She drowsily sat up already admonishing herself for all the feeling that waking up alone stirred in her. “If you are going to be like this every time he´s not around we´re not going to make it. Yes, you are alone; he´s gone. Stop worrying! He´s coming back …at least today he is.” The thought made her sad all of the sudden, he would be leaving tomorrow night.

“God dammit Leah, stop that!” She reprehended herself out loud as she tried to dry the tears that ran through her face. “If Loki saw you he would be upset, he can´t afford to right now. Get a grip! What did Andrew had said? Oh, yes! Take your mind of it, do something else.” She recollected one of their conversations. “I´d better check on Eerika. Maybe later a sparring session if I can find Steve. “ Now that Loki was going out every day she wasn´t certain who was in the mansion. “He´s still kicking my ass every time.”

After tending to Eerika she look for Steve unsuccessfully for a while. “I´m too anxious, maybe I should do some training by myself.” She told herself, maybe that way she could shut everything else out.

When Loki finally returned from making the last preparations for the mission he found her still training, she must have been at this for a long time he thought to himself; at least a couple of hours. Even if her blows were powerful they were kind of slow; her tank top was drenched in sweat, as her face which had a deep concentration stare while punching the bag.

“How long have you been here?” He suddenly asked her.

Leah was startled by his voice, she had been too distracted by her own thoughts. As she rubbed her sore knuckles she admitted. “Maybe a little too much. Everything is ready?”

“Yes, it is. I´ll stay here until tomorrow´s departure.” He volunteered, as he absentmindedly stared at her chest, some sweat drops were running down her neck and into her cleavage.

Leah was too occupied trying not to show her concern to notice. “I think I need a SHOWER.” She simply told him as she ran her hand though her hair that was arranged in a single braid, it was soaking wet.

“Care for some company?” Loki flirtatiously asked her.

Leah was caught off guard by his comment and just opened her mouth while trying to think of something to say when Loki suddenly pulled her to him and passionately kissed her.

Leah just let herself melt into his kiss, no matter how many times he had kissed her before she always felt lightheaded. He swooned her away every time.

“Company would be good.” Leah smiled mischievously, a bath was most certainly not what Loki had in mind.

As soon as they had reached their room Loki pushed Leah down to their bed as he climbed on top of her kissing and nibbling her neck extracting little pleasure moans from Leah who arched her back as Loki kept kissing her.

“Mm, you taste so good.” Loki purred in her ear. “I can´t wait to taste the rest of you.” He travelled down her neck and eagerly pushed his hand under her top uncovering her breasts. Hungrily he took one of them into his mouth while fondling both extracting a louder moan from Leah. The first time he had done it after she began breastfeeding the appearance of milk had taken him by surprise, but only for a moment.

“I bet you´re already wet my love.” He grinned as he licked his milk stained lips in anticipation.

“Find out.” Leah said in a whisper as she grabbed Loki´s hair with both her hand and guided him down to her navel.

Loki laughed delighted, she was always so receptive to him. “Let´s” He answered as he yanked her leggings and underware down.

Leah gasped as the cool touch of his fingers reached inside her.

“So wet…” Loki purred, he could feel his manhood becoming constrained under his trousers as he began pushing his fingers in and out rhythmically.

Leah panted as the arousing sensation pushed her to the edge, she wanted more than his fingers. “Loki…” She pleaded.

“Not yet.” Loki answered fully aware of what her plea meant as he pulled his fingers out causing a disappointed grunt from Leah.

Leah leaned up and saw Loki removing his shirt.

“Are you going too strip-tease for me?” She jokingly told him.

Loki frowned amused by her suggestion. “As if you were that lucky.” He jokingly spat back.

“Aw” Leah pouted disappointed, she would find a way to convince him to do it someday. “I´d do it for you.” She volunteered still pouting.

Loki raised his eyebrows while considering her offer, they had never done that before; it might be … fun. He bit his lower lip still debating with himself while he refused. “Maybe another day.”

Leah frowned disappointed and rolled out of the bed while rearranging her clothes. “As you wish.”

“Who said I was done with you?” Loki quickly caught up with her holding her through the waist as he nibbled her neck.

“I´m not in the mood for games.” Leah told him pretending to be upset.

“Too bad, because I am.” Loki shamelessly told her before biting her lower neck as he rubbed himself against her. She loved games even if she sometimes pretended she didn´t.

“Ngh.” Leah moaned arching her back exposing her neck to him; he knew her too well. Within moments Loki had undressed her again; suddenly he carried her over his shoulder as he walked back to their bed.

“What the hell you think you’re doing?” Leah complained about being carried so unceremoniously.

“I´m taking back what´s mine.” He teased her playfully.

“I´m not …” She had started to talk back when Loki laid her back into bed; and without further explanation slid his fingers back into her vagina causing Leah to gasp surprised.

“You were sating?” Loki teased her as he started pulling and pushing his fingers rhythmically.

Leash only moaned suddenly overwhelmed by the arousing sensation when Loki used his free hand to fondle her clitoris at the same time he kept trusting his fingers into her.

“I thought so …” Loki grinned satisfied while slowing his trusts to find Leah´s g spot. A louder moan told him he had succeeded, he continued fondling her g-spot until she came.

“Let´s see how fast I can make you to cum again.” He challenged her while finishing undressing himself.

“Uhhh?” Leah had barely registered what he had said when Loki slid his hardened member inside her moaning in delight, she was so wet. Leah moaned too, she still hadn´t recuperated from his previous orgasm; the feeling of his cock burring deep inside her was exhilarating.

Loki smiled at her flustering face. “Fast enough for you?” He teased her as he started trusting into her.

“I never …”Leah couldn´t end her sentence as another moan escaped her lips, he seemed bent on making good on his word. It only took a couple of minutes for Leah to cum again.

Loki still his movements while contemplating Leah´s ecstatic expression. “Are you going to be more patient next time?” He jokingly scolded her.

“Mm-hmm” Leah agreed while nodding her head affirmatively, it felt so good to have his penis inside her like that.

“I could do this all night.” Loki heart fully told her, they had only been together for a couple of weeks as a … normal couple; well as normal as they could be under the circumstances. But even with all the troubles he couldn´t picture his life differently now.

His comment casted a shadow of concern over Leah who worriedly asked him. “Shouldn´t you keep your strength for the mission?”

Loki smiled warmly at her, he knew she couldn´t help to feel concerned about his departure, but he was also determined to cast aside her fears… at least for a while. “So you think I’m tired already, uh?”

“Fuck!” Leah cursed mentally. “Now I´ve really done it.” His mischievous ardent glare told her of his intentions even before he started trusting vigorously into her again as he informed her with a big grin. “I´m going to show you exactly how tired I am.”

“Wait! I didn´t …” Leah tried to explain herself but was silenced by Loki´s fervent kiss. She surrendered totally to him; that was an argument she had no way of winning, even if she wanted to.

After a couple of hours of unrestrained sex Loki finally decided to give her a break after he had cum for the third time.

“Who´s tired now?” He teasingly asked her while snuggling against her.

“That´s not fair.” Leah pouted. “I was already tired when you found me.”

“How long had you been training?” Loki dryly asked her.

“I´m not sure, a couple of hours maybe. I dosed off after lunch …” She started to explain him.

“You had a hard session?” He worryingly asked her, it was unusual for her to sleep in the middle of the day, and she had been napping almost all week. Whatever happened during those sessions exhausted her.

“Yes.” Leah said with a sigh as she remembered today´s session.

“I don´t understand why you can talk to Andrew and not me.” He complained bitterly.

“I …” Leah frowned upset trying to figure out an answer. “I don´t …” Why did her mind kept freezing every time he asked her that?

Loki could feel the sudden change in her heartbeat, whatever it was the mere thought of telling him seemed to scare her deeply.

“No, I´m sorry. I shouldn´t complain, he´s helping you; it’s just that … he knows things about you I don´t.” He quickly apologised. Why did he even mentioned it? That wasn´t the way he wanted to spend the night, arguing.

 

After a couple of seconds Leah turned to him, with a serious frown she asked him. “Loki…? Are you jealous?”

Her question caught him completely unprepared. “ I … mmm …. Maybe.”

Leah´s expression softened as she told him. “There´s nothing to be jealous about. I just … there are things I can´t tell you.”

“Like what?” Loki snapped at her, his temper kept pushing for answers even if he knew he shouldn´t.

“Stuff.” Leah acknowledged bitterly. “There´s stuff I´m not proud of …”

“We all have love.” Loki volunteered. “I you don´t want to tell me I won´t make you. I just want you to know I wouldn´t judge you.”

“Yes, you would.” Leah bitterly said in a whisper.

Her last statement worried him. “No Leah, I swear I wouldn´t.”

“I … I don´t want to risk it.” She confessed fearfully.

Loki sighed frustrated, that conversation always ended the same way. “suit yourself.” He ended annoyed.

“I …I” Leah stuttered. She didn’t wanted that conversation to end like that again, with both of them upset, not that night. “If I … tell you one of this things, would you stop asking?” She looked sternly at him, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes, pain already settling on her heart.

Loki regretted instantly pushing her too far, he just couldn´t understand why she felt she couldn´t talk to him; against his better judgement he told hr. “I promise.”

Leah sighed defeated, she had hoped in vain for him to reject her offer, she could feel a lump on her throat forming already as she tried to decide what story to tell him.

Finally after a minute or so another sigh marked her decision; with trembling fingers she pointed to a ten centimetres scar on her right side over her ribs. “Do you remember when I got this?” she asked him.

“By Odin´s ravens! How could I forget! You really scared me that day, I was that close to tell you the truth. As a matter of fact that was the day I decided to lead the Avengers to you.” Loki spat jolted by the memories; he had found her curled up in her bed with half a dozen cuts and bruises. The most serious of them was the one she had referred to, someone had stitched it; she claimed she had been mugged while looking for information. She refused adamantly to go to the police or a hospital; she didn´t wanted to draw that kind of attention to herself.

“I lied.” She suddenly confessed. “I wasn´t mugged. I was too ashamed to even acknowledge what had happened.” She bitterly told him as she sat up; lying in the bed make her feel more vulnerable.

Loki sat up right after her with a distraught glare he asked. “What happened?”

“You know there are things money can´t buy, some people will only accept … another kind of payment. I thought … it was a good lead … and it would only be a moment. I thought I could handle it.”

“Leah, you are scaring me, what kind of payment?” Loki asked her bewildered by her revelation.

“What else did I had to give Loki? Just myself.” Leah´s voice break.

“You can´t be serious. Did you really accepted that?” Loki´s eyes widened with horror, the thought of some low life taking advantage of her like that.

“Yes … I did. It wasn´t like I was a virgin. It was … only sex.” She dryly answered; that was the rationalization that had led her to believe she could go through with it.

“Who was he?” Loki growled furious. “I´m going to skin him alive!”

“It doesn´t matter.” Leah nodded negatively. “I couldn´t go through with it … I chicken out at the last moment.”

Loki sighed relieved for an instant before realising what had happened. “He´s the one that hurt you.”

“Yes.” Leah dropped her head. “He wasn´t happy when I changed my mind. If someone hadn´t interrupted him he might had killed me.”

“By the norns Leah, why didn´t you told me?” Loki asked her anguished.

“I was too ashamed, I couldn´t believe I had actually consider doing it. I just wanted to forget it ever happened.” Leah confessed as thick tears ran through her cheeks. “ I couldn´t go to the police, or a hospital they would´ve asked too many questions. The rest you know I found someone to patch me up and went back to the motel.”

After a moment of silence Leah asked him. “Do you understand now why I can´t talk to you about this … things? It hurts too much to know that you know…” Her voice broke again, it had been bad enough to retold Andrew her story, but telling it to Loki made the pain excruciating. “ I don’t want you to know this sort of things!” she whined as she bolted out of the bed, she feared the look on his eyes.

Loki reacted only a second too late, he was shocked, he had never expected to hear something like that, the thought that she had chosen that story specifically made him realise that the stories she wasn’t telling him were probably even worse.

“No, Leah wait!” He stood up just as she locked herself in the dressing room crying her heart out. “I´m sorry Leah, I didn´t knew. Please, I´m sorry. Let me in.” He pleaded as he leaned into the door, he could easily break in, but knew it might only make things worse.

“Why did you make me tell you?” Leah cried. Why had she told him that story? Because it was the only one she was willing to give up, she didn´t knew it would hurt that much. “Why did you make me tell you?” She asked again. “I´m disgusting.”

“No Leah, that´s not true. I understand now, I´m sorry. I´ll never force you to tell me something ever again; if you don´t want to tell me I will respect your wishes. Please come out.” Why did he had pushed her like that? Hadn´t she suffered enough?

“I´m nothing but a whore who sells herself to the highest bidder.” She spat back. “How can you even stand to be at my side?” Andrew had reassured her she wasn´t, that desperate people make desperate decisions that it only had been a mistake, one that could´ve been worse. But none of it mattered, he wasn´t Loki, and now Loki knew; she couldn´t think of something worse. “I´m trash.” She whined between sobs.

Loki couldn’t take it anymore. “Leah either you open this door or I’m taking it down.” He couldn´t comfort her from the other side, he knew her, she wouldn´t listen.

Leah didn´t answered, she just kept crying broken hearted.

Loki grunted annoyed as he took a step back to kick the door open. Leah let out a startled yelp when she heard the door breaking, and looked at the door scared as she kept sniffling. Loki had never done anything like that before, he must be very angry was her first thought, he hates me was her second. She was trembling visibly as he knelt beside her, he was angry, she could tell by the look on his eyes; she flinched as she closed her eyes scared, she didn´t knew what to expect, would he hit her?

Loki´s heart cringed by her frightened reaction, his features softened with remorse, tears already ran through his face when he embraced her. “It´s all my fault.” He confessed with a heavy heart. “ If I had tell you the truth sooner none of that would´ve happened. I´m the one who is worthless, not you.” He kept crying while holding her tight, he had failed her…. Again. “I´m the one who doesn´t deserve you.”

Leah had opened her eyes surprised at his outburst, she had never imagined he would react like that. She raised her arms and hugged him back. “That´s not true.” She tried to still her sniffling’s. “It was my decision, my mistake, not yours. You couldn´t have known I was going to do that. It´s my fault.”

“No, it´s not.” Loki contradicted her. “It´s mine. I should’ve known better. I was just too scared of losing you, I was selfish.”

“Scared of losing me?” Leah asked surprised.

“Yes.” Loki confessed.

Leah smiled between her tears. “You could never lose me, don´t you know?”

Loki raised his head to look into her eyes. “Know what?” He asked her unsure.

“That I loved you since the first instant we met.” She volunteered a little scared of her own confession.

“You did?” Loki asked confused, eh had felt a connection with her in that single moment when their eyes met barely seconds before Thor´s lightning hit them, he had never dreamt she had felt it too.

“Mm-hmm.” Leah answered nodding her head affirmatively.

“We´re a couple of fools!” Loki laughed wryly.

“Maybe.” Leah agreed. “But I´ll stay by your side as long as you want me to.” The pain was gone, only a leftover sorrow lingered, but she knew it would fade away soon.

“Then I guess we´re stuck with each other for eternity, because I’m never letting you go.” He told her with a smile as he helped her up. “Now, I don´t want to fight anymore, can we just pretend this didn´t happened?”

Leah looked at the broken door. “I think we can try, though … what made you break it?” She asked with curiosity.

Loki looked back at the door too, it had been a rather impulsive reaction, something Thor would´ve done. “I…” He looked back at her. “I just had to get to my damsel in distress.” He volunteered with a smile.

“My prince!” Leah smiled delighted throwing her arms around his neck as she kissed him.

Loki kissed her back full heartily before sweeping her up and carrying her back to bed.

The next day it was Leah´s turn to talk to Andrew.

“Leah, please sit.” Andrew welcomed her t Loki´s studio which had become his temporary office. “I´ve learned a lot about you this past days.”

“That doesn´t mean you know me Dr. Garner.” Leah replied feeling more than slightly annoyed by his familiar tone.

“Call me Andrew.” He suggested kindly, it was unlikely she would open up to him if she saw him as an authority figure.

“I´d rather not.” Leah refused sternly; instantly she felt a pang of regret. It wasn´t his fault, he was just doing his job; so she added. “I don´t know you that well … maybe later.”

“It seems fair to me. You look a little tense. Have you been in therapy before? You seem rather uncomfortable.” Andrew knew they were in for a rough start.

“This wasn´t exactly my idea, if you know what I mean.” Leah volunteered. “It seems everyone thinks I need help; either way I have nothing to lose.”

“So, you don´t think you need therapy?” Andrew asked her dryly.

“I just need to know how to stop the panic attacks.” She acknowledged. “That´s why they are so worried.”

“And you´re not?” Andrew questioned curious of her answer.

“No.” She answered quickly, it wasn´t true and she knew it; but it made her feel weak to acknowledge it in front of a stranger.

“Leah, this isn´t going to work if you lie to me.” Andrew scolded her kindly.

“How do you know that I’m lying?” Leah asked him, did it showed?

“It´s just a thing you learn to pick up when you have a job like mine.” Andrew volunteered.

“So you get lied a lot?” Leah asked curious.

“Yes, but this isn´t about me. As you said you´re friends are worried about you, Loki is worried about you; that´s why I am here.”

Leah pouted like a scolded child, he was right; she was doing it for Loki. She needed to behave and let Andrew help her.

“If I´m not mistaken Bruce already taught you some techniques to help you with the panic attacks; and even so you weren´t able to stop by yourself when the last one happened.” Andrew dryly told her.

“That doesn´t mean I´m crazy.” Leah growled upset.

“No one thinks that you´re crazy, that´s not why I am here.” Andrew volunteered. “I know Bruce explained you what a panic attack is, it doesn´t mean you are crazy although you might feel like you´re losing your mind. I´m here to help you find a way to cope with whatever is triggering the attacks.”

“I already know what´s triggering the attacks … I´m scared. Are you going to wave a magic wand and make it all go away now?” She bitterly spat at him; she couldn´t help herself, she was angry.

“If this could be solve by magic I´m sure Loki would´ve fix it by now.” Andrew dryly answered her, as Leah didn´t responded he continued. “I can´t make all your fears disappear, but I can teach you how to deal with them. As you grow more confident you´ll be able to stop the panic attacks.”

Leah kept pensive considering his words, wasn´t it worth the shot? Worst case scenario nothing changed, best case scenario the panic attacks would stop.

“All right.” She sighed defeated. “I have nothing to lose.”

Andrew smiled, he thought he was going to get a harder time convincing her to embrace the therapy. “Where do you want us to start?”

“I don´t know.” Leah admitted.

“How about we start at the beginning? I´ve read the police and the ER report from that day, and your friends have filled me in with the details they know.” Andrew volunteered.

Leah shrugged her shoulders as she frowned trying not to show how annoyed she felt. “There´s nothing to say. We went to have breakfast with my parents as we always did on Sundays. We didn´t change route, has any arguments or did anything different… and then he just hit us. I´m not hiding anything about it; if I don’t talk much about it is because after hitting my head against the window on impact everything went black until I woke up in the ER. Believe me there´s no hidden drama or anything to psychoanalyze there.”

“That´s the moment your life changed, you really mean to tell me you really have nothing to say? No anger, no guilty feelings, just nothing? I find that hard to believe.” Andrew told her calmly.

“It´s hard to be angry at the dead Doctor, you can´t fight with them, you can´t argue with them.” Leah volunteered. “And I know by now I won´t get any answers about surviving, at least not the one´s I want.”

Andrew pondered puzzled at her last remark, he knew she was hiding something even if she was trying hard to dismiss it. “All right, how about surviving the second time?”

Leah shrugged her shoulders while she changed her position on the couch, sitting straight made her feel vulnerable, so she leaned to a side while she bent one of her knees up; Andrew noticed her change in demeanour, it was sort of an intermediate posture between a foetal position and sitting straight, she was trying to protect herself from something.

“I got my answers even if they weren´t the one’s I wanted.” She finally told him.

“Loki saving you on account of Thor… that must have been disheartening.” Andrew suggested.

“It was.” Leah agreed. “But it makes sense; he didn’t knew me.”

“Nevertheless you must have felt lucky he did.” Andrew pressed the matter.

“Lucky?” Leah laughed wryly. “At least that´s better than everything happens for a reason.”

“That bothers you, why?” Andrew asked intrigued, he seemed to have found the source of her discomfort.

“People don´t realise what that means.” Leah bitterly told him.

“And what does it mean Leah?” Andrew asked while leaning towards her interested on her answer.

“I think you can figure it out by yourself.” Leah answered irritated. “I don´t want to talk about this anymore.” She leaned back crossing her arms as she looked away.

“Leah, I know this is hard; but you need to talk about what´s bothering you. It might not be even linked to the panic attacks but this kind of things tend to fester. If you don´t face it now it will only get harder later.”

Leah grunted angrily, she knew he was right. “If everything happens for a reason; that means there is a reason my son is dead, that my parents are dead and that Martin is dead. I don´t want to accept that …” She suddenly stopped.

“You think you are the reason they are dead?” Andrew asked her, it wasn´t uncommon on sole survivors to feel that way.

“I´m not …” Leah raised her voice; she thought she had convinced herself about that but there was always a pinch of doubt on her mind.

“Leah, survivor´s guilt is very common, there´s nothing to be ashamed of.” Andrew tried to comfort her, she wouldn´t be able to handle it unless she admitted it first.

“That´s what you would think so.” Leah grunted annoyed.

“Do you feel ashamed?” Andrew asked her kindly.

“Try not to when you´re surrounded by superheroes and gods. The look on their faces when they get a glimpse of how broken I really feel …“Leah shut up suddenly, she had nearly told him.

“I don´t think any of them expects you to be all right after all you been through, not even Thor or Loki.” Andrew tried to reassure her, as if it wasn´t bad enough she felt guilty about not meeting their standards.

“I know, that´s what they say; but they´re eyes told me differently.” She bitterly acknowledged.

“What do you mean?” Andrew asked her while considering her answer.

“There´s pity on their eyes when they look at me, too much of it. I can´t stand it and they don´t even know…” Leah shut up immediately, she had never meant to say the last part out loud.

“They don´t know what….?” Andrew asked her concerned by her reaction.

“Nothing. Just forget I said anything.” She brushed him off trying to dismiss it.

“Leah, you wouldn´t had said anything if you didn´t wanted me to know, at least on a subconscious level you want to talk about it.” Andrew told her, she was screaming for help even if she refused to say it out loud.

“No, really it´s nothing. I shouldn´t had said anything.” She could feel her heart beating faster; she refused to think about it. It was just her imagination saying stupid things, wasn´t it? It had never been her intention.

Andrew could see the conflict written on her face, cautiously he reached for her hand as he told her. “Leah, I promise anything you say to me will never leave this walls.”

“Not even for your report?” Leah asked with teary eyes, could she trust him?

Andrew smiled kindly. “Not even for my report.”

“Are you sure?” Leah asked again.

“You´re not a SHIELD operative, my report doesn´t need to be specific.” He suggested. “You are my patient now, my main concern is to help you. Please let me do my job.”

“Loki can never know about this … nor the others.” Leah pleaded.

“I won´t betray your trust.” Andrew promised her.

Leah sighed, why did she ever said anything? It was too late now to take it back, and maybe telling someone would make her good. “It was just something stupid, it must have been the alcohol; I never meant to go through with it, at least I don´t think so. I just felt so numb, I wanted to wake up.”

“Leah, what did you do?” Andrew was afraid all her rambling was taking them to one direction only.

“People think it´s easy, you see it at the movies … and it just seems easy. You don´t know …not until … it takes more something other than courage to go through with it.” Leah kept rambling, she didn´t wanted to accept it. “I tried, but I couldn´t even …I wasn´t strong, I wasn´t weak… I was angry. That´s what stopped me; I couldn´t let him win, if I had he would´ve won, he would´ve killed us all. All I wanted was the pain to be gone.” She looked at him looking desperately for absolution.

Andrew sighed upset, all her rambling made sense under one perspective. “Pills?”

“No, pills would´ve been painless. I didn´t deserved painless.” Leah bitterly acknowledged. “Am I not a drama queen? All that fuzz and not even hesitation marks to show for it.” She laughed hysterically, within seconds her laugh had turned into tears. “I´m … poison.” She suddenly added. “Why did I thought I deserved a second chance?”

Somehow everything was connected, but how? He had to start pulling the thread carefully to see what it would reveal.

“Why wouldn´t you deserve a second chance?” He questioned her calmly.

Leak looked at him horrified, whatever her answer was she wouldn´t give it up easily. “I’m poison.” She repeated as if explained it all.

“No, you´re not. Why you keep saying that?” Andrew questioned her.

“Everyone arounds me dies.” She suddenly spat as thick tears ran through her cheeks.

“Loki isn´t dead Leah, nor Eerika or any of the Avengers. What happened to your family was an accident; a horrible accident but it wasn´t your fault. Nor it´s your fault you were the only survivor.”

“You don´t know that.” Leah spat bitterly.

“Why would it be your fault?” Andrew asked her, it made no sense going through the branches at that point.

Leah looked at him pained, she had an answer but she didn´t wanted to give it. She only nodded her head negatively.

“Leah, I know it hurts but you can´t keep hiding it.” Andrew told her, she felt guilty about something which lead her to believe she would be punished, it must be the source of her fear he thought.

“I shouldn´t have kissed him…” She said in a whisper.

“Loki? Why not?” He asked while frowning, she had to be referring to the first time they kissed.

“I … betrayed him.” She answered while looking away.

“Martin?” He asked her, it would make sense.

Leah couldn´t answer and only nodded her head affirmatively. “We were together since … always and it took me nothing to betray him.”

“Leah, he died, you didn´t betrayed him.” Andrew told her sternly.

“I know.” She yelled while crying. “He would say the same, he would never reproach me. But I know … in my heart I know I did.”

“Leah, there isn´t such a thing as a manual about this sort of things, there aren´t rules, any stipulated times you have to keep. There isn´t something as a designated mourning time. Sometimes love comes back our way even if you´re not ready for it.” Andrew explained her “And if we´re lucky enough we might just let it in.”

“Again with the lucky part…”Leah bitterly snap back.

When it appeared she was opening up she kept trying to shut off again, he couldn´t let her. “Why did you kissed him?”

“Why does it matter?” Leah raised her voice again.

“Because you don´t want to tell me.” Andrew answered calmly.

“I don’t know I was drunk and alone, he´s handsome, what does it matter?” Leah spat angered.

“Stop lying to me, you know that´s not the reason.” Andrew scolded her “Do you want to get better or not?”

Leah looked at him baffled, she did wanted to get better, why did it had to be so hard? “Yes.” She bitterly acknowledged, she was trapped.

“Then tell me, why did you kissed Loki that first time?” Andrew asked again, he hoped she would answer this time.

“Because … because I was a fool wishing, hoping for something I thought it was there.” Leah yelled at him. “And I got lucky…” She laughed hysterically covering her mouth, it only took a moment for her to break up again; she raised her hand to cover her eyes as she cried.

Andrew let her cry for a while before asking “What were you hoping for?”

“For him to rescue me again, to save me form the pain like he did in that split second when he looked into my eyes …” Leah confessed.

Suddenly it made sense. “Leah, did you fell in love with Loki then?”

Leah looked at him horrified. “Who do you take me for? A moody schoolgirl who falls in love with the first guy she sees? My husband had just died!”

“Leah, it´s not your fault. We can´t rule our heart.” Andrew tried to explain her.

“No, I don´t want to hear it. It wasn´t my fault, it wasn´t my fault.” Leah covered her ears as she clenched her eyes rocking herself while repeating that it wasn´t her fault as if by saying it enough times she could make it true.

Andrew knew it was a decisive moment and rushed to her side, he raised his voice as he tried to remove Leah´s hands from her ears. “Falling in love doesn´t make it your fault.”

“Yes, it does.” Leah shrieked heartbroken. “I´m the reason, what else could it be? I´m the reason they´re dead.” She wailed in pain, she had agreed with everyone about it not being her fault, even with Martin on her dream because she didn´t wanted to accept the truth that weight heavily on her heart, but now she couldn´t deny it.

“No, Leah, no, you can’t think that.” Andrew sternly told her trying to meet her eyes. “I understand now why you are so afraid; you think that because you fell in love with Loki that same day you´re the reason everyone died, that it is your fault. That you will be punished because of that, and what could be worse than losing Loki and Eerika?”

“I deserve it …” Leah sniffled, there was no point on hiding her feelings now.

“No, that´s not true.” Andrew told her, he understood now why Clint felt so irritated when she put herself down.

“It is …” Leah stubbornly claimed.

“Leah, you could´ve meet Loki months afterwards and you probably would feel the same way. Surviving means you have to go on living. And love is a part of life, you just happened to found it in an unexpected moment. That doesn´t mean every one died for that moment to happen, maybe what it really means is that it happened because you needed it to.” Leah had stopped crying and was listening to him attentively, it seemed he was finally starting to reach her. “You already told me you had suicide thoughts at some point, what stopped you from trying again?”

“I had to find him. When I didn´t go through with it for a moment I thought about quitting but I already had sold the house, all our belongings, there was no one waiting for me.” Leah softly acknowledged. “I knew that instant that hunting for him was the only thing that was keeping me sane. I feared finding him as much as not being able to do so because I didn´t knew what would I do next. But I didn´t let that stop me, I didn´t let anyone stop me.”

“What do you mean anyone?” Andrew frowned, what else was she hiding?

“You don´t think I managed to find him just out of luck, do you? I had more than one rough encounter with the wrong people, I learned the bad way but I learned fast.” Leah confessed between ashamed and proud, she had mixed feeling about all the things she had done to find Loki.

Andrew made a mental note about asking her further about that later. There was another matter on his mind, one less stressful.

“Leah, do you mind if I ask you something?” He asked her politely.

“You are seriously asking me that at this point Andrew?” She raised her eyebrows a little amused by his polite question.

He smiled, it seemed she had decided to accept him on her inner circle. “It doesn´t hurt to be polite sometimes.”

“As you wish, what could you possibly want to know that everyone else couldn´t tell you?” She wryly asked him.

“You know they did because they care about you? They never wanted to betray your trust; they genuinely want to help you.” He volunteered.

“I know, try having your life under the microscope from now and then. It´s not that fun.” She admitted.

“Probably not, either way; I know now you fell in love with Loki right away but you didn´t saw him again until several months later. “ What would the best way to ask this, he pondered. “I think you know Thor was interested in you all that time, he even offered you to recognize your child as his and take you to Asgard.”

“I knew, he´s not very good at hiding his feelings.” Leah admitted. “I never wanted to mislead him. And I know what everyone thought, that I should´ve chosen him instead of waiting for Loki.”

“Why didn´t you?” Andrew asked, fixing their relationship wasn´t on his job description, but with Loki gone in the mission it would help them if they could somehow be more comfortable around each other.

“Because …” She stopped for a moment choosing the right words. “When he looks at me, sometimes he isn´t, he sees right through me, I can see in his eyes how broken I am. When Loki looked at me …. I didn´t saw that, somehow he looked at something inside me I couldn´t even fathom, something better, or at least he used to…” Leah sadly ended

“Leah, he´s just worried about you. And … he feels guilty.” Andrew confessed.

“Guilty?” Leah asked surprised. “About what?”

“He thinks that if he hadn´t felt in love with you; you might be safe.” Andrew volunteered.

“Now you know how far away from the truth that is.” Leah bitterly admitted.

“What do you mean?” Andrew frowned while realising the meaning of her words. “You mean you …?”

“Yes.” Leah interrupted him. “Sooner or later I would´ve tried again. I had nothing.”

“And now?” Andrew asked her preoccupied.

“Now I got too much to lose … again.” Leah sorrowful admitted. “Whatever happens I need to get better for them, or I will lose them one way or another. Will you help me Andrew?”

“In any way I can.” He asseverated, it was going to be a very hard week for both of them.

As Andrew Garner arrived to the mansion he set up a schedule to talk to all of the Avengers; he wanted their input about Leah before talking to her. He had read her file and watched SHIELD´s footage of her fight with Doom; but that didn´t told him much about her.

“So, how would you describe Leah in one word?” Was his first question.

“Passionate.” Loki volunteered after much self-debate.

“Stubborn.” Clint answered without much thought.

“Brave.” Was Steve’s answer.

“Complicated.” Bruce suggested

“Beautiful.” Thor told him without much thought.

“Determined.” Natasha volunteered, she had considered her answer for a good while.

“Had you talked to her about her panic attack?” Was the next question.

“Not exactly.” Loki admitted. “I´ve been more concerned with how to avoid it from happening again.”

“Do you think it was your fault?” Andrew asked next.

“She wouldn´t had snapped if I hadn’t gone to Fury.” Loki acknowledged.

“You shouldn´t blame yourself; for what I read you only precipitate things, it really was just a matter of time. She should´ve got counselling since her family died. She can´t take refuge on alcohol as before; she has a new family now; it forces her to face her fears, she´s simply unprepared for that.” Andrew explained sympathetically.

“And even so, she picked up a fight with Fury yesterday.” Loki bitterly admitted.

“I know, Fury told me about that. Have you talked with her about it?”

“Not yet, Bruce had already scolded her earlier and … in her words Fury has a very mean swing. Fortunately her healing factor took care of that. I mean to talk to her after this.” Loki answered sternly.

“Don´t be so hard on her. Fury provoked her on purpose.” Andrew volunteered.

“What? Why would he do that?” Loki asked bewildered.

“Tell me, did she had a chance to vent her anger after her incident with Doom?”

“There was an incident with a punching bag and we kind of fight a lot, but probably not, why?” Loki realised, she had just bottled all that anger down.

“Fury noticed that, he thought she might need to … get it out of her system.” Andrew revealed. “It´s not an appropriate course of action by my standards, but I´d have to admit that sometimes it can be very effective. My methods are less … controversial”

“And you will help her?” Loki asked in hope.

“I will do my best.” Andrew offered sincerely.

“Actually we did, she asked how I overcome the incident with the terrorists.” Tony told him; he´d much rather not discuss the matter at all but Leah´s welfare might depend on the smallest detail.

“And what did you told her?” Andrew asked interested.

“The truth, that I took on the role of super-hero so I wouldn´t have to think too much about it, or go through something like that again.” Tony volunteered before adding. “But I might have an idea of what´s she´s really scared off, and why …”

Andrew listened attentively as Tony told him about everything that happened that didn´t appeared on SHIELD´s tapes as well as his talks with Leah.

“I see.” Andrew acknowledged. “Things are more complicated that what I thought initially.”

“You have no idea.” Tony answered in a tone between irony and concern.

“At first we did.” Clint volunteered. “To say the truth we mostly talk about Eerika and my kids now.”

“Right, how are they?” Andrew asked politely.

“Getting bigger as always.” Clint answered with a half-smile, he missed them. “She had a hard time at first, she didn´t felt fit to be a mother; I’m glad she gave herself a chance. I was beginning to worry she wouldn´t; now I think Eerika is who´s keeping her together most of the time.”

“Not more than necessary.” Bruce confessed. “Neither of us is very good at that sort of thing, unless … she´s having a panic attack, or an existential crisis or …” Bruce stop at the middle of his sentence and smiled while realising that his previous statement wasn´t quite truth. “On second thought, we do seem to talk a lot …” Then he proceeded to retell Andrew of all the times he and Leah had talked.

“Yes, we´ve talked about it, only girls on the team. There are lots of things that the guys’ wouldn´t understand.” Natasha volunteered.

“Like what?” Andrew asked very interested in her answer.

“You already know what kind of things I mean Andrew, are you going to play coy on me now?” Natasha smirked.

“I might have an idea, but it would be better if you told me.” He volunteered with a half-smile; it wasn´t the first time they had met.

Natasha sighed annoyed before telling him. “Like how even the slightest touch can make you feel violated, and how you try to convince yourself that you are just overreacting, that nothing happened. But somehow your brain doesn´t seem to register it.” She answered sternly.

“That bad, huh?” Andrew questioned her.

“That bad.” Natasha replied. “And also we talk a lot about Loki, do you already know how they met?”

“I read the file but I have the feeling you can fill me in better.” Andrew acknowledged.

“Yes, even when we were still at the Tower we talked about it.” Steve told Andrew. “She felt guilty for not killing Doom when she had the chance.”

“What did you told her.” Andrew asked as he leaned interested on his answer.

“That sometimes it takes more courage to spare a life than to take one.” Steve volunteered.

“Are you close Steve?” Andrew suddenly asked.

“I guess so, I was the only one who understood what she went through when her abilities appeared …. And I kind of feel responsible for her.”

“You know that if she didn´t had your abilities she might not survived, right?” Andrew questioned him.

“I know.” Steve agreed. “You know I was the one who found her when she nearly had a miscarriage. I´ve been in combat and I don´t think I ever felt more scared for someone ever before. Your body just betraying you like that, how do you even fight it?” Steve confessed while remembering the events that happened that day.

“No, I can´t say we have.” Thor volunteered.

“What do you talk about then?” Andrew asked trying to make sense of Thor´s previous answer.

“We actually don´t talk much.” Thor confessed.

“Why is that?” Andres asked intrigued.

“I … we kind of fell apart. I´m not even sure on who´s account.” Thor told Andrew.

“Do you still love her?” Andrew asked him cautiously.

“How do you know? Is that obvious?” Thor asked concerned.

“You defined her as beautiful, I’m afraid that´s very obvious.” Andrew volunteered.

Thor smiled sadly as he bit his lips. “I should have chosen another word. But that was my first thought.”

“Does she knows?” Andrew asked concerned.

“Probably.” Thor volunteered. “I don´t think she would keep her distance otherwise.”

“Why do you think she does that?” Andrew asked interested.

“She doesn’t wants to hurt me.” Thor suggested. “Nor damage my relationship with Loki.”

“Does he know?” Andrew asked even more interested.

“He´s always been the smart one.” Thor volunteered. “I would say it is likely he does.”

“Have you talked with her about this?” Andrew asked trying to figure out the dynamics of this love triangle.

“No, she choose him. There´s nothing else to talk about. I promised I would help her to keep her child safe and that´s a promise I intend to keep. Both her and my brother have suffered a lot, I’m glad they found happiness.”

“Are they really happy Thor?”

“Probably not that much right now, but you should´ve seen the way they looked at each other when Loki was our prisoner. Or how crushed Loki was when he thought she had died. If that´s not love I don´t know what it is.”

“What do you think will help her get better?” Was Andrew’s final question.

“I sincerely don´t know. Even If I sat this mission out I sense that it wouldn´t make her … problems disappear. She needs security probably, but we would be lying if we promised she´ll be safe indefinitely. Maybe her confidence back, I really don´t know.” Loki confessed, if he knew he would´ve already provided it. “She´s lost so much and she´s so afraid of losing me is baffling.”

“How so?” Andrew asked intrigued by Loki´s comment.

Loki frowned pondering his words before answering. “This is the first time anyone has … needed me so openly. I´m not used to that.”

“I see.” Andrew acknowledged.

“You´re really asking the wrong person.” Tony wryly told him. “Technology comes easy to me, people … not so much.”

“That´s weird, for what I’ve heard you have taken the role of an older brother regarding Leah. I would assume that you would have an opinion about it.” Andrew volunteered.

“That kind of just happened, she´s fun to be with and …”Tony admitted.

“She has the same kind of wry humor you have.” Andrew ended his sentence for him.

“Yes.” Tony smiled remembering something. “There´s that.”

“Back to my question, what do you think might help her?” Andrew questioned Tony again.

“To get some control back.” Tony volunteered, that´s what would´ve bother him if he were on her place.

“What would help her?” Steve asked himself out loud. “I´m not sure, you might think you have everything figured out and the world just changes on you on an instant.”

“Like it happened to you.” Andrew suggested.

“Getting caught in a block of ice for 70 years doesn´t happen every day fortunately. “ Steve acknowledged. “But yes, she already had her life changing forever in an instant, she knows there are no guarantees.”

“Then what do you think is bothering her if she already knows that?” Andrew questioned Steve.

“That she feels unprepared for facing any more changes. I don´t blame her, at least everything changed for me in a blink of an eye; she have had to face changes on almost weakly bases for over seven months now. She must be exhausted.”

“So, you think she needs stability?” Andrew suggested.

“I know it sounds contradictory after what I said, but… yes I do.” Steve agreed.

“If I said some peace and quiet would it sound like a cliché?” Clint jokingly suggested.

Andrew just gave him a disapproving look.

“All right. Can´t you take a joke? You´re so serious Andrew.” Clint complained.

“You know this is a serious matter Clint.” Andrew told him with a stern look.

“I know, but I think it is your job to figure that out, not mine.” Clint volunteered.

“It is but you all have been around her for months, you know her; I don´t. I need all the input I can get; you know I can´t get that from a file or some tapes.” Andrew told him. “And the clock is ticking, making a breakpoint before Loki´s departure is essential.”

“I guessed that much, this is Fury´s idea to appease Loki´s mind and make him to concentrate on the mission, right?” Clint inquired as Andrew nodded affirmatively.

“Does she knows that?” Clint asked again.

“Yes, she does. According to Fury she called herself a liability.” Andrew volunteered.

“I wished she stopped doing that.” Clint spat angered.

“Putting herself down, you mean?” Andrew suggested.

“Yes, I know she doesn´t have our background or experience but for a housewife she had done it extraordinary well. It makes me so angry she can´t see that.” Clint buffed. “Only Loki and I know this but the first day after doom´s intrusion we had an argument … I kind of slapped her.”

“You did what? Why?” Andrew asked surprised.

“Basically she suggested Loki and eerika would be better off without her.” Clint confessed.

“Dis she ever tried to hurt herself?” Andrew asked concerned.

“No, she didn´t, at least not intentionally.” Clint retold andrew the whole incident so he wouldn´t get the wrong idea.

“How did Loki reacted to that?” Andrew asked intrigued.

“They got into a very bad argument …” Clint told Andrew everything Loki had told him about the incident that ended with Leah getting her memories back.

“That was a lucky turn of events.” Andrew suggested.

“You have no idea. I thought she was getting better after that until Tony came in with news from SHIELD. Everything went south again after that.” Clint confessed annoyed. “She´s brave but she has barely recovered from one blow when another comes. No one can withstand that pace.” Clint ended.

“Well Andrew, I know for a fact that she’s not waiting for the white picket fence, nor she expects his prince to be charming all the time.” Natasha volunteered. “She knows what comes with the territory, though she´s not as all right with it as she thinks. If you really want to know I think she needs a break from al this madness her life has become. She should be concerned with changing diapers and sleepless nights not with under covered missions.”

“Seems you have given this quite some thought Natasha.” Andrew suggested.

“I hate unsolved problems, you know that Andrew. Besides she´s my friend I want her to be happy.”

“This really isn´t my area of expertise you know that right?” Bruce answered Andrew´s question.

“Make a guess.” Andrew suggested.

“Loki and Eerika safe and sound would be my guess; she´s scared of losing them as she lost her first child and husband.” Bruce volunteered.

“You know that´s not very realistic?” Andrew questioned him.

“Yes, situations change even if we don´t want them to do so.” Bruce bitterly added.

“Are you thinking of herself or you Bruce?” Andrew asked.

“Maybe both, we are very similar in some aspects. We both tend to self-neglect on behalf of others, and we hate to be a burden, we simply refuse to be even if we´re hurting.” Bruce explained Andrew.

“Those are not very healthy ways to handle things.” Andrew scolded Bruce.

“I know; sometimes you have to keep your mind occupied with something, if it´s pain sometimes it doesn’t even matter as long as you don´t break down. I can´t afford that to happen, you know? In a way she´s help me realise many attitudes I tend to do that aren´t … the best course of action.” Bruce added shrugging his shoulders.

“Have you told her that? Andrew asked.

“Not directly, maybe I should´ve.” Bruce suggested.

“Yes, I think that would be a great idea. It might help her if she understands where your advices are coming from.” Andrew agreed.

“So … Thor, you still haven´t given mem your answer.” Andrew interrupted Thor´s thoughts.

“I really don´t know what to say.” Thor confessed. “Besides the obvious I´m not sure what could help her get better.”

“Let´s start with the obvious, shall we?” Andrew suggested.

“Loki and Eerika safe.” Thor volunteered.

“Yes, but you can´t really assure her that nothing will happen to them. She need to get better even with that uncertainty.” Andrew told Thor.

“None of this would´ve happened if I had noticed her on the bridge that day.” Thor spat angered at himself.

“Do you think she would´ve fall in love with you if you had saved her instead of Loki?” Andrew asked interested in his answer.

“How dare you suggest such thing? I never said anything like that!” Thor snapped annoyed.

“I never said you did Thor, I just wondered if you ever thought about that. I apologise if I have offended you. But it would help me to know your thoughts about it.” Andrew quickly apologised, he had obviously stroked a nerve.

“I didn´t meant anything like that, I just wished she was safe even if it meant she wouldn´t be here.” Thor confessed.

“For what I been told if she hadn´t started her quest to find Loki to provide her with some answers … there´s no telling what she would´ve done. She was left alone Thor, everyone in her family death. The chase gave her a purpose, maybe even saved her life.” Andrew explained calmly.

“She wants what?” Fury exclaimed surprised, he´d never though Leah would want to meet with him, after all she seemed genuinely scared of him the last time he saw her.

“She wants you to debrief her in person.” Loki told him again. “She claims she won´t accept the deal otherwise.”

“I´m not sure this is a good idea, but if it will speed things up I’ll talk to her.” Fury agreed reluctantly.

After Loki had arrived with fury at the Mansion he set him up in his studio and went looking for Leah. He found her training with Natasha and Clint; Bruce had told them exercise would be good for her even if she wasn´t totally recuperated.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” Clint asked Loki preoccupied while Natasha and Leah finished their sparring session.

“I sincerely don´t know. Either way, what´s the worst that could happen?” Loki tried to dismiss his concerns.

“I´m not even sure what to answer to that.” Clint admitted.

As they walked to the meeting Leah suddenly spoke. “Loki?”

“Have you changed your mind?” He asked in hope.

“No, I just want to ask you something.” Leah volunteered. “I don´t mean to do things worse than they are, but if something happens … promise me you´ll stay out of it.”

“What do you mean if something happens? Leah, what are you planning to do?” Loki asked worried, he knew her too well.

“Really, I promise I´m not planning anything … I just … I´m really not, believe me … I don´t know if I can trust myself.” Leah admitted, she had too many mixed feelings about the meeting.

“Call it off then, I´m sure fury won´t mind.” Loki suggested hoping she would accept.

“No, I don´t want to … I just … I can´t forget he just stood there and watch while …” She looked visibly upset. “I really don´t want to make things worse, just promise me … whatever happens you´ll stay out of it. I need to do this, I can´t be afraid of him forever.”

Loki was looking at her with a worried frown; he kept trying to convince her to cancel the meeting but he hadn´t been at all successful.

Leah sensed his reticence and pleaded once more. “Please Loki, promise me. Do you really want me to beg? Cause …I will.” Leah looked at him sternly, if he intervened at the first sign of trouble she might not get a chance to talk to fury again, and she needed to; nothing else mattered, not even her pride.

“No.” Loki nodded negatively, he knew how much she hated to beg. “Don´t do that, I promise.” He agreed reticently; if it was that important to her maybe he should let her do it.

When Loki arrived with Leah to the study Fury was already browsing through Loki´s library. “Interesting collection you have here.” He told them without turning around as they arrived.

“I like to think so.” Loki replied. “Should we start? I´m sure you have other things to do.”

“Certainly.” Fury agreed as he sat in the couch.

Before Loki could sit Leah told him as calmly as she could. “I want to talk to Fury alone, ´please.”

“What?! Why?” Loki asked her bewildered, he knew she was up to something, that´s why she had make him promise, he could just break that promise, but the look of desperation on her eyes made him refrain from doing so.

“Just … please Loki. I promise I´ll behave.” She pleaded while praying for him to keep his promise.

“It´s fine by me.” Fury volunteered.

Loki wanted nothing else but to protest, but even if he did that wouldn´t change her mind. The whole purpose of the meeting was to get her the right kind of help, he would have to play her game for the time being. “I´ll be right outside.” He reluctantly told them as he left the room.

“So ..” Fury started as soon as Loki had closed the door behind him.

“So …” Leah replied. “First things first, what kind of mission did you got Loki into?”

After Fury had ended explaining her the mission, the ramifications, the possible outcomes and the politics involved Leah asked him totally surprised. “And you wanted me to take a part of that? You really must be desperate … I´m a housewife for crying out loud, not even a soldier; much less a superhero. I do understand why you can´t call the Avengers, but … I really don´t know how could you even considered me for the team.” Leah volunteered.

“You remind me of Steve you know? Not only because of your shared super soldier abilities, but other aspects. If things had worked out differently I´m sure you would´ve been a fine addition to SHIELD.” He told her.

Leah let out a sarcastic laugh. “You really don´t know what kind of tree you´re barking to. I´d have ended up getting everyone killed.” For a split second she looked pained by her own statement; Fury noticed her discomfort and made a mental note about telling Andrew about it. “Believe me it´s better for everyone I’m not fit to go.”

“I guess we´ll never know now.” Fury added. “Now, what´s next on your agenda?

“Why the mandatory psychological examination? Are you still trying to recruit me?” she dryly asked.

“No, although it would be fortunate if you reconsidered your position regarding SHIELD. The real reason I´m doing it is because Loki is too worried you and that´s distracting him form the mission. We can´t afford a single mistake.” He confessed.

“Then I’m a liability that needs to be fix.” Leah spat annoyed.

“Yes, you are.” Fury agreed. She was smart, he liked that. It was a shame she wouldn´t be joining them.

“All right then; I’ll do it for Loki. But this doesn´t mean I´m going to change my mind about SHIELD … ever.” She agreed reluctantly.

“Why not?” Fury asked, he wanted to know exactly what her position was.

Leah´s expression turned to a grim one. “You let Doom …” She couldn´t even end her phrase she was too angry.

“I let Doom do what?” Fury taunted her, he felt curious of hr reaction.

“You know it all too well, I know you were watching.” She felt enraged, both of her hands had clenched up in fists.

“So…?” Fury asked as if it hadn´t meant a thing.

“You would´ve let us die, wouldn´t you?” Leah growled between her teeth.

Fury was taken back by her question, did she really though they would do that? “No.” He answered.

“And I´m supposed to believe you? If it wasn´t for Loki I´d be in Latveria right now.” She could feel her blood boiling up.

Fury grunted displeased “No, I know you have no reason to believe me but we had already organized a rescue party to get you off Doom´s claws when Loki appeared. We wouldn´t had let you die, nor Loki or your child; you are too valuable.”

Leah laughed bitterly “Valuable? So if we weren´t you would´ve let us die!”

“No, you are twisting my words, I never said that.” Fury defended himself irritated.

“You didn´t had to.” Leah spat at him, she hated the fact that Loki had to work with them on her account, it was always her fault.

“I did what I had to in order to protect millions of people; and yes, if in the end that means I have to sacrifice a few I will; but that doesn´t mean I don´t care.” He tried to explain her.

“So, now I’m expendable? Will you make up your mind?” Leah kept pushing fury´s buttons, she made him personally responsible for all her pain.

“Maybe now that you have proven how weak you really are.” Fury spat at her, he understood where all her anger came from, for the looks of it she had only pushed all that murderous rage down; he decided to push her back even if it wasn´t the best idea to piss her off it might just help her wake up from her slumber.

“I … am … not … weak!” Leah finally snapped enraged as she threw a blow against Fury who blocked it away easily; he had been expecting it.

Leah was furious at her own failure and attacked fury again and again with determination while Fury solely defended himself; soon it became obvious she had improved since the last time he had seen her fight as her blows became increasingly difficult to stop. Suddenly one of her blows finally succeeded, she had managed to connect a punch against Fury´s face who smirked at her as he cleaned the blood that ran through his mouth. “Maybe you are not as weak as I thought.”

Before Leah noticed he threw a punch back as he uttered. “But you still need more training.” He stroke Leah easily; accidently as she tried to block her fall she knocked over one of loki´s glass cases that crashed on impact.

The sound of shattering glass alerted Loki who rushed in to a strange scene; Leah was leaning against the table where the glass case had been only minutes before, she was breathing laboriously and had a red mark on one of her cheeks. Fury was standing a few meters form her and still had some blood flowing from his mouth.

“What in Helheim is going on in here?” He spat bewildered.

“We´re just working our differences.” Fury volunteered slightly amused by the turn of events.

“If you get him killed I will kill you.” Leah growled at him; she didn´t cared Loki had walked in.

“If he´s dead I´ll probably be death too.” Fury growled back.

“Good.” Leah spat. “I still have one condition for accepting your deal.” Loki was going to hate her for doing it but she saw no other option. “Loki, will you please step out for a moment?”

“I don´t think so.” Loki snapped back, they would probably get at each other throats the second he did.

“You promised …” Leah growled at him with a furious glare on her eyes. “If you want me to accept Fury´s deal you will leave us.”

“But …” Loki started to protest when Fury interrupted him.

”We´re done fighting Loki, isn´t that right Leah?”

“Yes … we have. For the moment at least. “Leah acknowledged.

“All right, I´ll be right outside.” Loki growled displeased, he would have words with her afterwards.

The moment Loki locked the door again Fury asked. “What do you want?”

“I want you to make arrangements in case Loki is captured. You will provide me with a team; your best team. And you will grant me full authority over the matter. I won´t let him be abandoned by you.” She demanded sternly. Was she crazy? Perhaps …. But she wouldn´t let him to rot away in a god forsaken prison. She wouldn´t forsake Eerika either; but if it came to that she would see him rescued even if she couldn´t do it herself.

Fury grunted displeased as he considered her request; if everything failed she might be the only one driven enough to get Loki rescued and probably himself. “Agreed.” He finally told her before asking “What if he dies?”

Leah smiled evilly “See it this way, you won´t be alive to worry about that.”

“Would you tell the Avengers? “ He worryingly inquired.

“No if I can help it. “ She smirked. “But know this if he dies I will find a way to obliterate Narobia from the map, with SHIELD´s help or without it, so I suggest you grant me full resources cause I’ll accomplish that mission one way or the other.” She didn´t even knew where that had come from, but she knew in her heart that if Loki died she would deliver on her word.

“Then I guess I´d better make sure we succeed without any incidents.” Fury volunteered; she might not even have half a plan, or the necessary training; but he believed her, one way or the other she would find the way to make it happen.

As Loki dropped fury on the Hellicarrier he dryly asked. “What did she wanted?”

“She must be taking after you because she included my silence on the deal.” Fury wryly told him. “But I will tell you this much that woman would set the world on fire for you.”

“What´s that supposed to mean?” Loki asked concerned.

“That you shouldn´t worry about her.” Fury added with a smirk. “With Andrew´s help she´ll be back on her feet in no time.”

As Loki rushed back to scold Leah for her fight with Fury amongst things he found her in their room holding a cold compress against her wounded cheek with a sorrow look on her face. For a moment he forgot his anger as he sat beside her worryingly. “Does it hurt?”

“Who would´ve though Fury had such a mean hook?” Leah answered back pouting; when Loki kindly removed the compress from her face to have a look she winced.

“Did Bruce take a look at you?” He asked firmly.

“Yes …” Leah confessed. “And he already scold the living hell out of me if that´s what you´re going to do.” She looked defeated.

He looked at her compassionately; she did look miserable. “Not today, I think you´ve been punished enough for one day.” He embraced her. “But you´re not getting of that stunt of yours so easily.”

“I know.” She bitterly admitted.

“You are late!” Fury greeted Loki as he appeared in his office.

“I was … delayed.” Loki told him in response.

“Leah?” Fury asked not even trying to hide his concern.

“Yes.” Loki dryly answered.

“How bad is she?” Fury asked again with a frown.

“I don´t know. She had a very bad panic attack according to Bruce; she seems better now but I thought the same the day before.” Loki bitterly admitted; why was he telling Fury that?

“You know we have specialists to handle this sort of situations; if you want …” Fury suddenly offered.

“Send someone to help her?” Loki interrupted him. “Not sure Leah would accept that; I´m not even sure I agree with that. It´s just that Brice seems to think she needs help´.” Loki ended still debating with himself; she was trying, but would it be enough? “Besides, I have something else to ask you first.”

“She wants to know about the mission.” Fury guessed.

“Yes.” Loki nodded in agreement.

“I´ll tell you what; I´ll make another deal with you, she can know about the mission if she agrees to keep the secret and … and here´s the big; if she agrees to see a psychiatrists.” Fury offered.

“Why the sudden interest in her welfare?” Loki replied angered. “If you cared you should´ve rescued her from Doom.”

“It´s not her welfare I’m interested about now, but yours.” Fury just dismissed his previous comment, following that line would lead them nowhere. “I need you focused and I don´t see that happening if you´re too busy worrying over her. There´s a psychiatrist who I think would be the best person to help her, he has dealt with sensitive cases before. He´s not a SHIELD´s employee but he does contract work for us from time to time.”

Loki listened attentively before asking. “If he´s not from SHIELD how can I know he can be trusted?”

“Would you rather I sent a SHIELD´s psychiatrist?” Fury questioned him amused by his reticent to accept.

“Probably not.” Loki admitted; if they were going to go to the mission together he needed to start trusting Fury, their lives might depend on it. ”Do you trust him?”

“Yes I do; he was married to one of my top agents, he´s been cleared by us and he knows the drill.” Fury volunteered.

“Really? To who?” Loki felt curious, the idea of SHIELD´s agents having families still puzzled him.

“Melinda May.” Fury told him.

“The Cavalry?” Loki asked surprised.

“Never call her that.” Fury advised him with a stern look.

“Why not? I thought it was meant as a compliment.” Loki questioned intrigued.

“It was; but she hates it. Anyway, do we have a deal?” Fury hoped he would agree; he needed Loki´s mind on the mission.

“I´ll tell her; if she agrees you´ll have a deal.” Loki responded.

“Seems fair. Now these are the locations of your team members.” He tossed Loki a file over the table.

Loki browsed through the report; as he memorized the locations he said to Fury. “They will want to know how much ae you willing to pay.”

“More than enough.” Fury replied. “Although Sandman might be willing to accept another kind of deal.”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked intrigued.

“In a way he´s not that different from you, he wants to keep his family safe; but he can´t do that if he can´t be with them. If he hesitates offer him a pardon.” Sandman seemed to have an act for being in the wrong place at the wrong time; from al the sinister six he was the least dangerous. That didn´t meant he wouldn´t keep an eye on him anyway; old habits are hard to break.

When Loki returned Leah was again half asleep in their bed, she seemed to shut down whenever he left. As she noticed him climbing on their bed she drowsily motioned him to her side, she ached for his presence as a sunflower aches for the sun.

“You are back.” She smiled weakly.

“Yes, I am.” Loki answered as he cradled her into his embrace. Was it his imagination? She seemed lighter. “Did you had dinner?” He asked suddenly concerned she had skipped a meal again.

“I wasn´t hungry.” She pouted; how did he knew? “It´s only dinner.” She added trying to dismiss it.

“I don´t want you to stop eating, you are breastfeeding you need all your strength.” Loki scolded her softly.

“I know.” Leah sadly admitted. “” I just …” She sighed. “How am I supposed to eat when I just don´t feel like it?” she had tried, she even joined everyone for dinner but she had just ended up playing with her food.

“Why don´t you feel like it?” Loki inquired worryingly.

“I … I don´t know. I just don´t.” Leah replied upset by her own answer; she just couldn´t see to be able, she sighed again as she cuddled against Loki. She wanted to sleep, to shut off everything, she felt too tired.

“But Leah, you know you shouldn´t …” Loki stopped in the middle of his sentence as he noticed Leah had already fallen asleep. He grunted displeased, he would offer her fury´s deal in the morning; and he hoped she would accept it.

Leah awoken early in the morning startled by a nightmare, she sat holding herself tight trying to calm her own heartbeat.

Loki noticed her sudden movement and sleepily sat too as he asked. “Nightmare?”

“Uh-hu.” Leah agreed nodding her head affirmatively.

Loki opened his arms. “Come here.” Leah accepted his offer gladly, she closed her eyes as she leaned on him; the warmth of his body was so comforting, she felt cold.

Loki noticed her shivering and rubbed her back gently “Are you cold?” I though your nightmares had stopped.”

“Yes, and they did. This one was different.” She confessed.

“Different how?” Loki asked intrigued.

“It wasn’t about Doom or the crash.” She volunteered. “I was with Eerika, we were alone. I was walking amongst some ruins, I think like in a warzone. There wasn´t anyone around, only sand and debrief. No signs of life except for us. I walked for what seemed hours, nothing … I couldn´t find anyone; then I heard some kind of animal stalking us. I ran but there was nowhere to hide; I fell and then … it caught us.” Leah cringed at the memory.

“It was only a dream, it can´t hurt you.” Loki tried to comfort her.

“It felt so real.” Leah told him. “I was so scared.”

“I know, I´ll never let you alone; Thor and the others all have promised to take care of you and Eerika while I return. You won´t be alone. I want you to feel safe again, that´s why I´m doing it.”

“I wished there was another way.” Leah acknowledged.

“There isn´t … I talked to fury.” Loki told her calmly.

“What did he said?” Leah answered anxiously.

“He says you can know about the mission if, first you promise not to tell anyone about it and secondly you have to go through SHIELD´s mandatory psychological examination and should you need it therapy.”

“What?! Why? I´m not crazy!” Leah exclaimed defensively.

“No one thinks you are, Fury just wants to make sure you aren´t a security risk. If you don’t want to …” Loki shrugged his shoulders as if he was dismissing the thought.

“No, wait! I´ll do it.” Leah volunteered. “But I have a condition of my own. I want Fury to debrief me, and he´ll do it before I take the examination.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Loki inquired nervously, he hadn´t expected that.

“I have my reasons.” Leah sternly told him.

“I don´t think he´ll agree Leah. Besides I can debrief you about the mission.” Loki suggested.

“No!” Leah nodded her head negatively. “I want to talk to him.”

“Leah, don´t be stubborn. You don’t need to talk to him!” Loki tried to convince her again.

“No, if he doesn´t want to talk to me he can shove his deal …” Leah was abruptly interrupted by Loki kissing her fervently. He laughed heartily at her puzzled expression.

“I never thought I would be so happy about you being so stubborn.” It was the first sign he had seen of her being herself.

“Why would you…?” Leah still didn’t get the source of his amusement; she wanted to talk to Fury and that was all.

“Never mind.” Loki told her. “I´ll talk to Fury.”

When Loki awoke the next morning Leah was still asleep at his side, he looked at her worryingly; he didn´t knew how to help her. Bruce had laid a lot on his mind, even if he followed his advices he felt it wouldn´t be enough. If only Tony had let him watch the security footage; he might have a better idea of how to help her but … it might be another way. He was quite sure Leah wouldn´t agree willingly but she was asleep now and it was a rather simple spell. He adjusted himself in a way he could touch both her temples with his hands, next he closed his eyes as he muttered some ancient words while concentrating on the memories he wanted to retrieve. Suddenly a torrent of images flooded his mind, the hardest part was isolating the myriad of emotions that were connected to them; he felt in an instant all the fear, impotence and anger that Leah had felt. As he moved closer to the moment when Doom had tried to drag her to his aircraft Leah began to stir on her dream anxiously. Loki cut the connection abruptly wary of her noticing what he had done.

He leaned back on the bed pensively, how could he help her? Tony had been right; Doom had been extremely vicious with her. How could he ever make her feel safe after that? He now regretted going to Fury but he couldn´t undo it furthermore he´d probably do it again if he had the chance. Being cut off the entire world made Leah more vulnerable, the Avengers and he had been her safety net and sadly they had all failed her when it mattered.

Maybe if he … no he couldn´t but … if there weren´t any other solution? He just couldn´t allow her to keep falling into an empty void less swirl of despair, it hurt too much to see her like that.

After an hour or so Leah finally woke up, as she lazily opened her eyes Loki turned to look at her.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly.

“Stupid” She answered with a sigh, she had meant to say crazy but she didn´t wanted to say it out loud.

Loki frowned before telling her. “You aren´t stupid, don´t say that. It was my fault, I should´ve waited until you felt better.”

“And when will that be?” Leah asked in hope he could give her an answer, even a lie would be better than uncertainty.

“I … don´t know.” Loki confessed.

Leah turned her head to the window disappointed before asking. “When do you leave?”

“In a week.” Loki unwillingly answered.

Leah sighed again, seven days; that was all, she didn´t wanted to waste time arguing any more. “I lied.” She suddenly told him.

“About what?” Loki inquired preoccupied.

“About not caring.” Leah turned to look at him, her eyes shined with withheld tears. “I don´t want to fight anymore. What´s done is done. I want what we had back even if it´s just for a week.”

“It will be for more than a week, when I get back we´ll have a lifetime ahead of us.” Loki said trying to cheer her up.

“A lifetime …” She replied pensively, if only …

“Leah, please I don’t want you to worry. I wish I could make you see that there´s no need for that.” He meant it.

“I wish you could.” Leah agreed, she knew he was powerful but not knowing what SHIELD mission was about frightened her.

She felt heavy, sore but even so she laboriously sat up. “I´d better feed Eerika.”

“Let me help you.” Loki offered. “I´ll bring her to you. Bruce told me you might feel … drained.”

“I do.” Leah confessed. “Thank you.” She gave him a small smile.

Loki smiled her back, he was about to walk out when he suddenly got back and kissed her softly but deeply, a sweet loving kiss to which Leah responded in earnest, she had missed him so much.

They both smiled sadly to each other, Loki leaned his forehead into hers. “We´ll figure this out, I promise. Just … please don´t give up. I need you, Eerika needs you, do it for us please. Not even death would prevent me from coming back to you as long as you don’t give up.”

Leah looked at him shaken, she tried to hold her tears in vain. “I´m sorry … I´ll try … It´s just too hard … I don´t want you to go, if there were another way.”

“If there were another way I wouldn´t do it, but I´m afraid there isn´t one.” Loki volunteered as he comforted her cleaning her tears with his hands. “I´m here for you now, I´m sorry we drifted apart. I … I´m not even sure why, it all seems unimportant now.”

“We´re just too stubborn.” Leah dryly told him, they had always been; it had help them stay together but this time their stubbornness had drawn them apart.

After they had breakfast Loki left Leah with tony while he went to talk to Thor, he had something important to ask him.

“How did you do it?” Leah suddenly asked tony.

“Do what?” Tony asked her back while distractedly reviewing the communication center planes he had laid over the table.

“Get better, to stop being afraid. You know … after the terrorists, how did you do it?” Leah asked again anxiously.

“Who said I did?” Tony replied turning his attention to her. “I turned into a super-hero and started blowing up bad guys as soon as I could. He shrugged his shoulders, he had got himself busy to stop thinking about it.

“I don´t think I´m up for that.” Leah acknowledged. “But either way that´s what I mean, you didn´t had a meltdown ….”

“Come on! You didn´t …” tony started to protest when Leah gave him a disapproving look. “…well, maybe a little.”

“Try a lot.” Leah suggested. “How do I stop it from happening again? I couldn’t stop myself last time; it was just as if I was stuck on a thought and everything else faded away.” She leaned down over the dinner table until she snuggled herself over it. She still felt exhausted, the smallest effort tired her.

“I wish I knew what to tell you, I keep myself busy to avoid thinking about that sort of things. What are you really afraid of?” He asked her.

“I´m not even sure now, first I thought I was afraid of Doom, then of dying, losing Loki, losing Eerika. Maybe everything.” Leah sighed defeated.

“I don´t think so, I think you are scared of something in particular. You know Loki is a lot more powerful with his magic back, don´t you?” Tony asked trying to pinpoint exactly what was bothering her.

“But what if he lost it again?” Leah asked anguished.

“That´s what you are afraid of?” Tony asked her realizing that it had been that fact the whole reason she had got into the fight against Doom; the fear of Loki being helpless and alone while in his cell had drove her to risk everything. “Besides Thor´s shackles I doubt there´s something on Earth that could bind his powers again.” He tried to reassure her.

“Are you sure?” Leah asked doubtfully. “What if you are wrong? What if …”

Tony interrupted her. “Leah, just stop. You can keep thinking that way, you are only hurting yourself.” Tony walked to her side and sat on the chair beside her, as he placed his hand on her back he told her. “The battle ended Leah, you don´t need to protect him anymore. It´s over.”

She look up at him as she confessed. “I know, but I just don´t know how to turn it off. I keep expecting something bad to happen. I can´t shake the nagging feeling I should be prepared for the moment it finally does … I don´t know how you all do it. It´s just too exhausting.” Leah sighed as she rested her forehead in her hands before adding. “There will always be another mission and all I can do is to stay here whishing it´s not the last.”

Tony realized that moment that between other reasons that could´ve been the thought that had drove Pepper away. The soldier’s wife wasn´t an enviable position, always waiting for that dreaded knock on the door that would deliver the news that would end her world.

“I´m afraid that comes with the territory. Maybe you should revaluate if this life is really what you want; even if Thor and Loki decided one day to return to Asgard there will always be other battles to fight. It´s their way, you know that.” Tony suggested frankly, if she didn´t wanted that life there was no case on her suffering more than necessary.

Leah kept pensive, he was right; she had fallen in love with not only a god but a warrior. She couldn´t just expect him to forsake everything and stay at home, what was she thinking? “I wouldn´t know how to go on without him.” She acknowledged.

“Then you need to figure out how to live with him, battles and all.” Tony finally told her jokingly, if she was decided there really wasn´t anything else to do.

“You say it as it was easy.” Leah wryly complained; but she knew he was right she´d better find a way to come at peace with everything.

“Love, Loki may be many things, but I don´t think easy is one of them.” He told her teasingly as he patted her shoulder.

Loki finally found Thor in one of the training rooms. “Brother” He approached him uncertain of how to break to him the matter that had brought him there.

“Yes brother?” Thor answered lightly before noticing Loki´s troubled look. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes, no, I don´t know … could we go somewhere else to talk?” Loki didn´t wanted anyone else to walk on them.

“Of course, but what´s troubling you?” Thor inquired again worried something had happened.

“Walk with me and I´ll tell you as soon as we get to my studio.” Loki offered.

As they arrived to the studio Loki locked the door behind them, now they could talk without anyone interrupting them.

“Thor … I used a spell on Leah, a memory sharing spell and … I´m not sure she will be able to overcome … all that´s worrying her.” Loki confessed nervously.

“A memory sharing spell? How did you even convince her to do so?” Thor asked surprised, he wouldn´t has thought Leah would agree to something like that.

“I didn´t asked her.” Loki told him with a guilty look. “I casted the spell while she was asleep, she doesn´t know I know.”

“Loki, why would you do something like that without her permission? You know it´s not …” Thor began to scold the younger god.

“What? Polite? Right? By Odin’s beard Thor you sound like mother more every day! I don´t care about being polite, I just want to help her. Don´t you remember last night?!” Loki asked him aggravated by Thor´s scolding.

“I do remember last night, and I know it´s hard but you just can´t do whatever you want. You can´t keep going behind her back, she trusts you. What will happen when she finds out?” Thor snapped back.

“She doesn´t have to find out, as a matter of fact she doesn´t even need to remember.” Loki spat furiously at him.

“Loki … you wouldn´t!” Thor answered shocked.

“Why not? It would be easier for her. I just can´t stand there and do nothing. “Loki told him frustrated; why was he asking for Thor´s permission? Why did it felt wrong? It was thr right thing to do, wasn´t it?

“Brother …” Thor toned his voice down, yelling at Loki wasn´t helping. “You can´t do it, at least not without her permission. She will eventually realize she has missing days, didn´t you told me it had been bad enough when she only had missed a couple of hours? If I recall correctly she wouldn´t stop trying to remember what happened in that missing period. She´s stronger than you think, just give her time. She´ll get through this as she always has.”

“I don´t know Thor. When I met her she was drowning in guilt, pain and alcohol and even then I never saw her that bad, not like last night. I´m leaving in a week, how can I leave knowing something like that could happen again? Maybe if she didn’t remembered doom she wouldn´t be so scared.” Loki reasoned.

“I don´t think Doom is what she´s scared of.” Thor volunteered.

“Is that so? Then tell me that if he hadn´t invaded the Tower in an attempt to kidnap her and Eerika she wouldn´t be so scared of me leaving on a mission.” Loki insisted.

“I don´t know Loki, but I do know that you will only end up hurting her if you do the deleting memories spell without her consent.” Thor told him with certainty. “You keep saying she´s too smart for her own good, she will figure it out, and then what? It´s not your place to make a decision like that for her, she might not forgive you. And what makes you think that deleting her memories will just set her right? You could be just be fucking her even more. Please Loki don´t do it.” Thor pleaded, he knew he wouldn´t be able to stop him if he decided to go through with it. “Just talk to her first, let her decide.”

Loki was pacing nervously while weighting Thor´s words. “What if she says no?” He asked anxiously.

“Then it would be her choice, and you will need to respect it.” Thor advised.

“But, what if it´s the wrong one?” Loki asked again. “What if something bad happened to her while I´m gone?”

“We won´t let anything bad happen to her … I won´t let anything happen to her brother, I promise.” Thor tried to reassure him, he had planned to tag alone on Loki´s mission at the last moment, but he understood now he was needed at Leah´s side even if it was just for Loki´s comfort.

“I don´t know … maybe I could talk to her, ask her what she wants, but if she gets any worse … I´m not sure what I´ll do.” Loki confessed.

After Leah had fed and lulled Eerika asleep in the afternoon Loki took her for a walk in the interior garden.

“This is nice.” Leah suddenly told him. “I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like we were on a date.”

“Well, we never really dated, so I guess you could call it a date if you want.” Loki smiled relieved to see her in such a better mood.

“I think I might” Leah jokingly answered. “What´s the occasion?”

“Do I have to have a reason to take you out for a walk?” Loki asked her being caught off guard.

His answer made Leah wary, it might not be just a casual walk after all. “No, and I might be wrong, but I do think you have a reason for this walk, am I right?”

“As a matter of fact …” Loki said scratching his nape nervously. “I want to ask you something…”

“All right.” Leah answered a bit nervous, what could he possibly wanted to ask her?

“If I offered you a chance to forget everything that happened since doom invaded the Tower until today, would you take it?” Loki told her while watching attentively for her reaction.

“What do you mean? How?” Leah asked puzzled while frowning deeply, she had never expected him to ask such a thing.

“There´s a spell I could use, it´s called a Deleting Memories spell. You wouldn´t remember anything I might even make you some new memories to replace the old ones.” Loki volunteered in hope she would accept.

“I … I … no, I don´t think so.” Leah answered bedazzled by his proposition as she shook her head negatively.

“Why not?” Loki asked trying not to sound angry.

“Because they wouldn´t be the truth” Leah quickly answered. “I thank you for offering, but I can´t.”

“Leah, why not? You wouldn´t be so scared any more, I would be able to leave feeling confident you were all right.” Loki volunteered.

Leah sighed as she tried to explain herself better. “I know I´ve been more a mess than usual.”

“That´s an understatement.” Loki interrupted her.

Leah ignored his comment and kept talking. “If you delete my memories of the last week you wouldn´t be only taking away the bad ones but the good ones too. And Loki … I really need the good ones; even if Doom hadn´t appeared and SHIELD hadn´t been after me I am … was … am still broken …”

“You aren´t broken.” Loki complained adamantly.

“You don’t need to lie to me about that, I know. There was too much I hadn’t faced, too much fear, too much pain, loss; even if nothing had happened those feelings would still be there. I know it doesn´t seems that way, I´m no near all right, but I´m trying, please let me try.” Leah pleaded, she was troubled she couldn´t denied it, but there were moments, especially when she was with Eerika where she felt that she might just pull through. “Help me get through this, not just erase it.”

Loki looked at her pensively, as he stared into her pleading bright blue eyes he realized he couldn´t deny her. It wouldn´t be right, she was in pain, she was struggling but she had just started to fight back, he couldn´t take that away from her.

Loki sighed as he embraced her while gently kissing her forehead before telling her. “I´m here for you; I just hope this is the right decision.”

“Me too.” Leah volunteered. “Loki, can you tell me about your mission?”

Loki stared at her surprised by her request.

“I just think I wouldn´t feel so scared if I knew what were you doing and where.” She shrugged her shoulders doubtfully.

“It´s not my decision, but I´ll ask Fury if I can debrief you. All right?” Loki offered.

“All right.” Leah accepted.

“Now, should we continue our walk my lady?” Loki courteously offered his arm to Leah as he made a small bow.

Leah blushed instantly taken aback by his sudden chivalry and shyly accepted his offer. “Yes my Lord.”

“My Lord?” Loki almost busted laughing.

“I don´t know what else to call you” Leah pouted ashamed. “I’m not royalty you know? This is too weird for me.”

“Then I guess I´ll just have to teach you in case you meet your parents-in law someday.” Loki teased her.

“Oh dear!” Leah looked slightly frightened of the prospect.

Thor and Loki returned to the Mansion reappearing in Loki´s study where he could restore his energy using the gems. They had a small talk before heading back, Thor didn´t liked the idea of Loki going on an undercover mission by himself but he had agreed to let him g on behalf of Leah´s wellbeing.

Loki was worried about Leah´s reaction once he told her about the deal he had stroke with fury; maybe he should´ve waited for her to get better before going to SHIELD, but he didn´t. It was dinner time already so they headed back to the dining room, they were all there except for Leah.

Loki asked Steve worryingly “Where´s Leah? Why isn´t she here?”

Steve stood up and took Loki out of the dining room. “She refused to join us, she claimed she wasn´t hungry; she feed and put Eerika to sleep before locking herself in your room. I´m afraid she´s still upset about your fight earlier; I tried talking to her but she just keeps acting as if you weren´t coming back. You really need to talk to her.”

“I´m not sure that talking to her will help.” Loki wryly admitted. “I stroke a deal with Fury … I will do an undercover mission for him in exchange for Leah´s freedom.”

Steve sighed displeased as he slightly nodded his head negatively. “When do you leave?” He finally asked him with a worried frown.

“In a week but I´ll be reporting to Fury on almost daily bases.” Loki lied to Steve, he needed to have a pretext for going out of the Mansion to convince the Sinister Six to join the mission.

Steve sighed displeased again as he placed a hand over Loki´s shoulder he told him. “Then I guess you should make every moment count; go to her I´m sure she´ll be glad to see you.” Then gave him a gentle push towards his room.

“I hope so.” Loki sighed worried as he walk down the hall, she had already been through so much, and now … he would have to put her through some more.

When he walked into his room after magically unlocking the door he found Leah half asleep curled up over the bed; she still had her clothes on and was tightly hugging his pillow in a desperate attempt to find some comfort on its familiar scent. She had been crying, the redness on her half closed eyes gave her away. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn´t even noticed Loki until he leaned next to her in order to look into her eyes. “Leah? You missed dinner …” He told her in a sweet loving tone. Leah looked up at him, for a second it didn´t seem she recognized him, her empty stare made Loki´s heart cringe.

“Loki? Loki!” She jumped up and embraced him tight. “I thought you weren´t coming back.” She confessed while new tears rolled out of her eyes.

“Don´t be silly! I will always come back to you.” He returned her embrace, he could feel her heart beating fast. “I´m sorry about earlier, I shouldn´t have snapped at you like that; I regret telling you that you were an arrogant child that …”

“No, you were right. I shouldn´t had tried to tell you what to do.” She interrupted him, her voice broke when she added. “It´s not my place.”

“What did you just said?” Loki asked her bewildered.

“It´s not my place.” Leah repeated shyly. “There’s no reason for you to listen to me.” She ended while bowing her head down.

Loki looked at her surprised; Thor had been right about one thing, but it wasn´t her heart that had broken, it was her spirit. She just had gave up, she had never done so before. It only made Loki feel even guiltier about what he had to say to her.

“No, Leah, that´s not true. I value your opinion, it´s just that sometimes …” He paused for a moment trying to find the right words when she interrupted him again.

“It´s doesn´t matter.” She dryly told him.

“But it does matter.” Loki spat upset.

“If you say so.” Leah weakly acknowledged, she didn´t saw the point any more, in her heart everything seem lost, even with Loki at her side she felt as she had already lost him.

“Leah, please. You are making this harder than it needs to be.” Loki tried to restrain his anger and hide it; he couldn´t decide if he was angrier at her for giving up or at him for putting her in that place.

“You talked to Fury….” Was her response, her worst fears were coming true, she could just feel it.

“Yes, I did.” Loki admitted, he would have to tell her sooner or later. “We made a deal”

“What sort of deal?” Leah asked him anxiously, if only she could stop shaking she wouldn´t feel so weak.

“I´ll do a mission for him and then he´ll drop all the charges against you, he´ll even provide protection for Eerika and yourself should we ever need it.” Loki informed her as he watched attentively her reactions; she had started shaking again, maybe he should´ve lied to her.

Leah closed her eyes trying to pull herself together as she opened them back she asked. “What kind of mission? Her eyes were overfilled with tears.

“Leah, please don´t cry. It´s just a mission I will be all right. You have nothing to worry about.” He lied to her, what else could he do?

“Is Thor going with you?” she asked next as if she hadn´t heard him at all.

“No, I´ll be going alone.” Loki bit his lower lip as he told her.

“Alone?” Leah looked up at him while she held her own hands trying to stop them from shaking. “Alone, why?” She asked again, her tears were running freely now.

“It´s an undercover mission, I have to do it alone.” Loki kept trying to reassure her. “I´ll be all right, you have nothing to worry about.”

The more Loki told Leah she had nothing to worry about the more Leah worried, she could feel her stomach becoming upset with nausea. She had tried to still her crying but she just couldn´t any more, he wasn´t going to come back, he was going to die and it was her fault. “Why did you do it?” She reproached him between cries.

“For you.” Loki confessed. “I can´t let you sacrifice everything. I can´t just stand by and watch you wither away.”

“Why not?” Leah whined. “We would´ve been together and alive, and now …” She couldn´t end her phrase she was crying to hard.

“Leah, stop it! You are overreacting! I´m not death, I´m not going to die. Everything is all right, you need to calm down.” Loki yelled at her upset, he just didn´t seem to be reaching her.

“Everything is all right?” Leah repeated in a hysterical laughter. Was she going crazy then? Was her mind so broken she couldn´t see that? Who would take care of Eerika then? With Loki gone and herself two steps from insanity. In that overwhelming instant the nausea she had been repressing became stronger; she fought the urge to vomit for a moment, but it was useless. She suddenly ran to the bathroom barely getting there on time to spill the meager contents of her stomach into the toilet. Loki had followed her the instant she sprang of the bed and looked at her both surprised and worried as she threw up.

“By the norns Leah! Are you all right?” He asked her as he knelt by her side trying to help her get her hair out of the way.

“Don´t touch me!” Leah snapped at him as she kept crying desperately.

“Leah, please! Let me take you to Bruce, he might be able to help you.” He tried to help her up.

Leah fought his attempt to pick her up with furious strength only to drop herself seconds later next to the toilet crying uncontrollably.

Loki looked at her with despair, she needed help but she wouldn´t allow him to touch her. He could try to force her but he was afraid she might hurt herself struggling against him. He couldn´t leave her alone to get help either. Teleporting her in that state might be dangerous; he just hoped there was still someone in the dining room, she didn’t had time for him to look for them all over the Mansion. With a frustrated grunt he closed his eyes as he chanted some magic words; in the dining room an astral projection appeared before Thor who was still dining animatedly. “Thor! Bring Bruce, she needs help. Hurry!”

Thor sprang out of the diner room, more than Loki´s words the anguished reflected both in his voice and his face conveyed the urgency of his plea.

In less than three minutes Thor, Bruce and tony busted into Loki´s and Leah´s room.

“Loki!” Thor shouted.

“Over here!” Loki replied, he had never felt more useless; when he returned to his body he had come back to a heart-breaking scene. Leah had curled in the floor, he could see her shaking as she kept crying her heart out.

“Shit!” Tony exclaimed, he had never seen her in such a bad state before, none of them had.

“Leah?” Bruce knelt by her side, she was having an anxiety attack, a very bad one. “Leah, you need help” He slowly told her, if she didn´t collaborated with him he might have to sedate her. “I need to touch you, is that ok?”

Leah agreed with a whimper.

Bruce carefully brushed the hair out of her face before softly pulling her up, he could feel her shaking badly. He could hear her starting to gasp for air; he held Leah´s face between his hands and looked right into her eyes, she was beyond panic; he needed to pull her back. “Leah, you are having a panic attack, remember what I told you? I need you to help me, try taking deep breaths.”

“A panic what?” Loki inquired apprehensive.

“Tony, could you explain him? I need to concentrate here.” Bruce answered quickly.

“But …” Loki wanted to ask a million questions; starting with why he wasn´t giving her any medicine.

Leah kept becoming distracted every time Loki spoke taking her eyes from Bruce as her breathing kept becoming shallower.

“And take him out of here! We need her to calm down.” Bruce spat annoyed by the interruptions. “Leah, come on focus, you can do it! I don’t want to sedate you, but you need to calm down.”

“Come Loki, let the Doctor do his job, she will be all right.” Tony volunteered while leading Loki out of the bathroom followed by Thor.

As they both explained Loki what was a panic attack, the causes, the symptoms and the basic of what to do and what not to Loki sat heavily in the bed. If only he had knew all that moments before, he had told her all the wrong things. How was he supposed to know that telling Leah everything was all right would push her over the edge?

“What happened?” Thor inquired.

As Loki recounted them what had happened Tony snapped furiously. “You just had to drop that bomb on her right now, didn´t you? She was barely holding herself together. Now look what you have done!”

“It wasn´t my intention! I didn´t knew this was going to happen!” Loki defended himself.

Thor had to intervene pulling them apart. “Stop that this instant! You fighting each other won´t help her!”

“He started it!” Tony spat still enraged. “Why couldn´t you just wait?”

“Because I didn´t knew if Fury´s offer would expire, I had to find out what he wanted. She can´t live as a prisoner for the rest of her life; always looking over her shoulder. She doesn´t think I’ve noticed, but I see it every day, at first it was little things, unharmful comments but now she´s giving up.” His voice broke at that point.

Tony looked up at him concerned “What do you mean she´s giving up?”

“I told her some days ago she was an arrogant child who didn´t knew her place; when I came back tonight I tried to apologize and she said that I shouldn´t apologize because I was right. She would never taken that kind of crap from me before, she would´ve never let me see the end of it, and she just took it, that´s something she wouldn´t do … I´m losing her. Thor I can´t lose her.” He turned to Thor anguished. “She doesn´t even know how much I need her, I really can´t lose her.” He looked at the verge of tears.

“I know.” A small voice answered his desperate claim.

They turned around to see Bruce helping Leah to the bed, he had finally managed to calm her down.

“Leah, are you all right?” Loki hurried to her.

“I´m sorry.” She answered. “I´m not” She sighed. “I can´t stop it.”

“Yes, you can.” Bruce intervened. “You just need some help, and for the moment I think you need some rest. Loki could I talk to you for a moment? Tony, Thor; could you keep Leah accompanied for a moment?”

“Sure.” Tony answered as he approached Leah and help her sat on the bed. “Come on love, let´s get you comfy, all right?”

“Ok.” Leah agreed weakly, she felt totally drained.

As Bruce and Loki walked out of the room the dark haired god turned and asked. “Is she going to be all right?”

“I hope so Loki, the mind is a complicated thing, but if you add your upcoming departure to what happened with Doom and the fact that she´s barely given birth a week ago …”

“I know, it´s too much; maybe I should´ve waited.” Loki admonished himself mentally, why had he been in such a hurry?

“I don´t know if that would´ve made a difference. If it gives you any comfort I think that you were right to go to Fury, she can´t keep being locked up neither here nor in the Tower whether she realizes it or not it´s not good for her. But I´m afraid she´s going to need your help to get through this. A moment ago I had to threaten her with sedation if she couldn´t calm herself down, do you know what she said?”

Loki nodded negatively.

“She begged me not to do it because she feared you would be gone by the time she woke up.” Bruce regretfully told him. “She´s terrified about the fact you might leave and not return; and I really can´t blame her, unintentionally we´ve all reinforced the idea that neither her nor Eerika would be safe outside. She wouldn´t be able to follow you out of fear of endangering your daughter, in her own mind she is already trapped here, that´s why it´s so easy for her to accept remaining here.”

“What do I do? I just want her to get better.” Loki asked anxiously.

“I´m not even sure Loki, psychiatry isn´t really my area. She needs therapy but unfortunately I´m afraid we can´t provide it, at least not like she needs it right now. Unless …” Bruce stopped while considering his next words.

“Unless what?” Loki pressed for an answer.

“Unless you are willing to ask Fury to lend us a therapist” As he looked the surprise in Loki´s face he added. “I know, we wouldn´t be sure if we could trust him or her and there´s no guarantee Leah would accept anyway. Maybe we should try to sort this out by ourselves.” Loki had remained pensive considering their options, none of them appeared particularly helpful or hopeful. “Either way” Bruce continued. “You´re going to need to be very patient with her; even with her healing factor it might take her a day to get back to … let´s say normal. It´s not unusual that after a panic attack as bad as the one she just had that there´s some physical consequences; she might feel weak, tired, lightheaded but I´m more worried about her getting depressed. If she gets any worse I´ll have to medicate her.”

“Why not do it know?” Loki inquired, wouldn´t it be simpler?

“Two reasons, the first is that the solution may be as bad as the attacks itself because of the side-effects but most importantly is that if I gave her something she wouldn´t be able to breastfeed Eerika. And Loki, she needs that connection if we take that away from her we might be pushing her over the edge.” Bruce explained.

“This is all my fault; if I hadn´t saved her that day.” Loki felt overwhelmed, he had only brought trouble to her life.

“She would be dead Loki.” Bruce reminded him. “I know that if you could somehow spare her from suffering you would, we all would in a heartbeat. But sometimes life isn´t fair and we just need to accept it, make our peace with it and move on. She needs you to be strong for her; remind her why she needs to get better.”

“Will you take care of her when I leave?” Loki asked, fear was written in his eyes, fear of losing her.

“We all will.” Bruce reassured him. “Just make sure to return in one peace. And afterwards if everything is all right you might want to consider taking her away on vacations. I´m sure Tony has a dessert island on his name somewhere.”

“I wouldn´t doubt it.” Loki answered with a small smile.

“Me neither.” Bruce smiled back. “Stop looking so serious, if she sees you that worried she´ll get even more scared.”

“I´ll do my best.” Loki grimaced, it wouldn´t be easy.

When they walked back they noticed Leah had fallen asleep over Tony´s lap who absentmindedly stroked her hair gently. Thor was sitting beside them looking worryingly at Leah.

“Ahem!” Loki cleared his throat trying to get their attention, they had all got very cozy on their bed.

Tony looked up to see Loki´s confused glare and told him amused. “Sorry Loki, I´m just keeping your place warm. She just fall asleep.”

“It´s all right, I know you care for her.” Loki acknowledged before adding. “But if you don´t mind I´m quite tired myself” He wasn´t but he longed to be alone with her.

“Of course.” Thor agreed as he got up followed by Tony who gently placed Leah´s head over a pillow.

“You´d better take care of her.” Tony told Loki with in a stern tone.

“I will, I promise.” Loki answered with an equal stern look.

As soon as they left he slid in bed next to her; after making sure he wouldn´t wake her up he embraced her making sure to rest her head against his chest, she had once told him that his heartbeat was the most comforting sound she had ever heard. Bruce suggestion lingered in his mind as he dreamt of white sandy beaches.

“What do you know about Narobia?” Fury asked Loki as he settled in his chair.

“Not much, only that it neighbors’ Wakanda and it was ruled by Princess Xanda until General Cayman Okanjo overthrone her a couple of years ago, why?” Loki answered intrigued by fury´s question.

“Because that´s the reason I need you and the black operation team. When General Cayman took over he financed mining operations all over the country and found a rich vibranium deposit; that´s when he draw our attention.” Fury told him in a stern voice.

“All right.” Loki acknowledged.

“Okanjo sold us vibranium but unfortunately we weren´t their only party interested. It bothers me to admit they had fools us for a long time, it was just dumb luck that we found out a couple of months ago that he had allied with Hydra. Needless to say that Hydra provided Okanjo with all sorts of technologies, he went from being just another dictator to a serious menace. We are talking about state of the art weaponry, biological weapons, chemical weapons, mind control, and even a super soldier program. Their plan is to first invade Wakanda which will allow them to take a hold of the entire region expanding their power through the continent and eventually to the rest of the world.”

“It sounds like a job for the Avengers, why haven´t you assigned them this mission?” Loki inquired, there had to be more going on that what Fury had told him so far.

“Because it´s not a wreck their plans and bring them to justice kind of mission” Fury leaned over his desk before adding. “It´s strictly a cleaning operation.”

“No witnesses, no prisoners.” Loki frowned as he realized exactly what Fury was asking. “May I ask why?”

“That´s where things get complicated.” Fury volunteered. “When we bought their vibranium we unwillingly founded their operations. The World Security Council can never find out about this; they would try to shut us down and that includes everything SHIELD has ever had his hands on.”

“The Avengers.” Loki said with a frown.

“They have never liked us and they especially fear the Avengers; they only need an excuse to try to shut us down and I don´t intent on giving it to them.” Fury added decisively.

“I can´t believe you wanted Leah involved in this, do you realize she doesn´t have the training for this kind of mission?” Loki spat annoyed.

“Do you have a better solution? I can´t use regular agents because of Okango´s super soldiers, and I can´t call the Avengers due to the nature of the mission. So, who´s left? I had to come up with a new team, a super powered team to be exact, preferably someone unknown so if something went wrong they couldn´t be tied back to SHIELD. I don´t exactly have people lining up for this kind of job; ever since we found about Okanjo´s true intentions we´ve been searching but until now we have only found two viable candidates besides Leah and yourself.” Loki could hear the tension on Fury´s voice.

“And let me guess, they don´t have the required training.” Loki claimed with a grim look on his face, this business was going from bad to worst.

“We´ve been training them for a couple of months now.” Fury offered.

“But they are no near ready.” Loki knew a mission like the one Fury suggested needed people with years of experience especially if he wanted to walk out of there alive. “If I´m going to lead this team I´m not taking any rookies with me; they are the best chance of everything going wrong. Can´t you ask for Wakanda´s help? After all we are trying to prevent them from being invaded.”

Fury looked at Loki displeased “If I could just enroll Wakanda´s help, don´t you think I´d already done it?

“What about mercs?” Loki suggested, he felt they were running out of options.

“Do you know any mercs with that kind the kind of powers we need?” Fury asked Loki very interested on his reply.

“Not mercs exactly, but yes I think they could be just what we need.” Loki volunteered as he rubbed his chin pensively before answering Fury. “The Sinister Six.”

Fury pondered for a moment Loki’s suggestion. “I agree they are powerful, but do you really think we can recruit them for this mission?”

“If you can come up with enough money, I’m sure they will agree. Besides they already know how to work as a team, it will save us a lot of time and for what you have told me I have the distinct impression that´s the one thing we are running of.”

“Yes, we are. We don´t know the exact date but our reports indicate us that Okanjo´s forces are rallying on.” Fury agreed.

“Other advantage is that none of them would have any moral issues about the mission’s objective.” Loki added, although he wasn’t confident that that last statement applied to him anymore.

“All right, it might not be what I had in mind but I think it could work. But I have two additions to your team and they are not negotiable.” Fury informed him in a very serious tone.

“Who?” Loki asked annoyed.

“Doom and myself.” Fury plainly told him.

“Are you out of your fucking mind? I´m not working with Doom! He tried to kill Leah!” Loki stood up enraged. “I won´t do it.”

“I already told you it´s not negotiable.” Fury stood up too. “If you want me to drop the charges against Leah you will do as I say. I don´t care if you like it. He´s almost as good as strategist as you are, not to mention a powerful mage. We need all the help we can fucking get!”

Loki paced for a moment considering his options. “All right” He finally growled. “But I have some conditions on my own and they are not negotiable either.”

“What do you want?” Fury asked with a winning smug on his face.

“This will be the only mission I´ll do for you, if you ever need my help again you´d better call the Avengers. You will not only drop the charges against Leah, you will remove her and Eerika from any damn mission you can come up with in the future, I don´t care if the world is ending; you will leave them both out of it.”

“Eerika?” Fury asked raising his eyebrows.

“My daughter.” Loki dryly replied. “Furthermore if they ever need protection you´d better provide it, it doesn´t matter if it´s for something as trivial as a walk in the park or for a full-fledge invasion. You will protect them at all costs.”

“I think I can manage that.” Fury agreed. “Anything else?”

“If Doom double cross us I will kill him.” Loki added.

“If he betrays us you´ll have to beat me to it.” Fury offered.

“As long as he´s death I think I can live with that.” Loki agreed. “I know I´m going to regret asking this, but how did you managed to enroll him on this mission?”

“By telling him that someone else was going to beat him at the conquer Earth game; the arrogant bastard doesn´t like competition.” Fury answered with an ironic smile.

“No, he doesn´t.” Loki admitted.

“How long will it take you to gather your team?” Fury asked

“I don´t know their current whereabouts.” Loki answered, he had been off the game for a while now.

“I might be able to help you with that.” Fury told him. “You´ll have their current locations by tomorrow.”

“All right, since you can´t sent the information to Jarvis I´ll drop by tomorrow evening.” Loki informed him.

“What are you going to tell the Avengers?” Fury asked anxiously.

“That you want me to do an undercover mission in exchange for Leah´s freedom.” Loki answered. “That will keep them from trying to join in.”

“Well thought.” Fury nodded in agreement.

“You can save your compliments; it´s not like you gave me much choice. And I hate to admit it but you are right about one thing Okanjo needs to be stopped before he tries to invade Wakanda, if he succeeded on it he might become unstoppable.” Loki grimly added while he kept thinking about how to break the news to Leah, she was right about one thing, it was a very dangerous affair.