Category: Loki Inspired (Page 6 of 18)

When Loki awoke the next morning Leah was still asleep at his side, he looked at her worryingly; he didn´t knew how to help her. Bruce had laid a lot on his mind, even if he followed his advices he felt it wouldn´t be enough. If only Tony had let him watch the security footage; he might have a better idea of how to help her but … it might be another way. He was quite sure Leah wouldn´t agree willingly but she was asleep now and it was a rather simple spell. He adjusted himself in a way he could touch both her temples with his hands, next he closed his eyes as he muttered some ancient words while concentrating on the memories he wanted to retrieve. Suddenly a torrent of images flooded his mind, the hardest part was isolating the myriad of emotions that were connected to them; he felt in an instant all the fear, impotence and anger that Leah had felt. As he moved closer to the moment when Doom had tried to drag her to his aircraft Leah began to stir on her dream anxiously. Loki cut the connection abruptly wary of her noticing what he had done.

He leaned back on the bed pensively, how could he help her? Tony had been right; Doom had been extremely vicious with her. How could he ever make her feel safe after that? He now regretted going to Fury but he couldn´t undo it furthermore he´d probably do it again if he had the chance. Being cut off the entire world made Leah more vulnerable, the Avengers and he had been her safety net and sadly they had all failed her when it mattered.

Maybe if he … no he couldn´t but … if there weren´t any other solution? He just couldn´t allow her to keep falling into an empty void less swirl of despair, it hurt too much to see her like that.

After an hour or so Leah finally woke up, as she lazily opened her eyes Loki turned to look at her.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly.

“Stupid” She answered with a sigh, she had meant to say crazy but she didn´t wanted to say it out loud.

Loki frowned before telling her. “You aren´t stupid, don´t say that. It was my fault, I should´ve waited until you felt better.”

“And when will that be?” Leah asked in hope he could give her an answer, even a lie would be better than uncertainty.

“I … don´t know.” Loki confessed.

Leah turned her head to the window disappointed before asking. “When do you leave?”

“In a week.” Loki unwillingly answered.

Leah sighed again, seven days; that was all, she didn´t wanted to waste time arguing any more. “I lied.” She suddenly told him.

“About what?” Loki inquired preoccupied.

“About not caring.” Leah turned to look at him, her eyes shined with withheld tears. “I don´t want to fight anymore. What´s done is done. I want what we had back even if it´s just for a week.”

“It will be for more than a week, when I get back we´ll have a lifetime ahead of us.” Loki said trying to cheer her up.

“A lifetime …” She replied pensively, if only …

“Leah, please I don’t want you to worry. I wish I could make you see that there´s no need for that.” He meant it.

“I wish you could.” Leah agreed, she knew he was powerful but not knowing what SHIELD mission was about frightened her.

She felt heavy, sore but even so she laboriously sat up. “I´d better feed Eerika.”

“Let me help you.” Loki offered. “I´ll bring her to you. Bruce told me you might feel … drained.”

“I do.” Leah confessed. “Thank you.” She gave him a small smile.

Loki smiled her back, he was about to walk out when he suddenly got back and kissed her softly but deeply, a sweet loving kiss to which Leah responded in earnest, she had missed him so much.

They both smiled sadly to each other, Loki leaned his forehead into hers. “We´ll figure this out, I promise. Just … please don´t give up. I need you, Eerika needs you, do it for us please. Not even death would prevent me from coming back to you as long as you don’t give up.”

Leah looked at him shaken, she tried to hold her tears in vain. “I´m sorry … I´ll try … It´s just too hard … I don´t want you to go, if there were another way.”

“If there were another way I wouldn´t do it, but I´m afraid there isn´t one.” Loki volunteered as he comforted her cleaning her tears with his hands. “I´m here for you now, I´m sorry we drifted apart. I … I´m not even sure why, it all seems unimportant now.”

“We´re just too stubborn.” Leah dryly told him, they had always been; it had help them stay together but this time their stubbornness had drawn them apart.

After they had breakfast Loki left Leah with tony while he went to talk to Thor, he had something important to ask him.

“How did you do it?” Leah suddenly asked tony.

“Do what?” Tony asked her back while distractedly reviewing the communication center planes he had laid over the table.

“Get better, to stop being afraid. You know … after the terrorists, how did you do it?” Leah asked again anxiously.

“Who said I did?” Tony replied turning his attention to her. “I turned into a super-hero and started blowing up bad guys as soon as I could. He shrugged his shoulders, he had got himself busy to stop thinking about it.

“I don´t think I´m up for that.” Leah acknowledged. “But either way that´s what I mean, you didn´t had a meltdown ….”

“Come on! You didn´t …” tony started to protest when Leah gave him a disapproving look. “…well, maybe a little.”

“Try a lot.” Leah suggested. “How do I stop it from happening again? I couldn’t stop myself last time; it was just as if I was stuck on a thought and everything else faded away.” She leaned down over the dinner table until she snuggled herself over it. She still felt exhausted, the smallest effort tired her.

“I wish I knew what to tell you, I keep myself busy to avoid thinking about that sort of things. What are you really afraid of?” He asked her.

“I´m not even sure now, first I thought I was afraid of Doom, then of dying, losing Loki, losing Eerika. Maybe everything.” Leah sighed defeated.

“I don´t think so, I think you are scared of something in particular. You know Loki is a lot more powerful with his magic back, don´t you?” Tony asked trying to pinpoint exactly what was bothering her.

“But what if he lost it again?” Leah asked anguished.

“That´s what you are afraid of?” Tony asked her realizing that it had been that fact the whole reason she had got into the fight against Doom; the fear of Loki being helpless and alone while in his cell had drove her to risk everything. “Besides Thor´s shackles I doubt there´s something on Earth that could bind his powers again.” He tried to reassure her.

“Are you sure?” Leah asked doubtfully. “What if you are wrong? What if …”

Tony interrupted her. “Leah, just stop. You can keep thinking that way, you are only hurting yourself.” Tony walked to her side and sat on the chair beside her, as he placed his hand on her back he told her. “The battle ended Leah, you don´t need to protect him anymore. It´s over.”

She look up at him as she confessed. “I know, but I just don´t know how to turn it off. I keep expecting something bad to happen. I can´t shake the nagging feeling I should be prepared for the moment it finally does … I don´t know how you all do it. It´s just too exhausting.” Leah sighed as she rested her forehead in her hands before adding. “There will always be another mission and all I can do is to stay here whishing it´s not the last.”

Tony realized that moment that between other reasons that could´ve been the thought that had drove Pepper away. The soldier’s wife wasn´t an enviable position, always waiting for that dreaded knock on the door that would deliver the news that would end her world.

“I´m afraid that comes with the territory. Maybe you should revaluate if this life is really what you want; even if Thor and Loki decided one day to return to Asgard there will always be other battles to fight. It´s their way, you know that.” Tony suggested frankly, if she didn´t wanted that life there was no case on her suffering more than necessary.

Leah kept pensive, he was right; she had fallen in love with not only a god but a warrior. She couldn´t just expect him to forsake everything and stay at home, what was she thinking? “I wouldn´t know how to go on without him.” She acknowledged.

“Then you need to figure out how to live with him, battles and all.” Tony finally told her jokingly, if she was decided there really wasn´t anything else to do.

“You say it as it was easy.” Leah wryly complained; but she knew he was right she´d better find a way to come at peace with everything.

“Love, Loki may be many things, but I don´t think easy is one of them.” He told her teasingly as he patted her shoulder.

Loki finally found Thor in one of the training rooms. “Brother” He approached him uncertain of how to break to him the matter that had brought him there.

“Yes brother?” Thor answered lightly before noticing Loki´s troubled look. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes, no, I don´t know … could we go somewhere else to talk?” Loki didn´t wanted anyone else to walk on them.

“Of course, but what´s troubling you?” Thor inquired again worried something had happened.

“Walk with me and I´ll tell you as soon as we get to my studio.” Loki offered.

As they arrived to the studio Loki locked the door behind them, now they could talk without anyone interrupting them.

“Thor … I used a spell on Leah, a memory sharing spell and … I´m not sure she will be able to overcome … all that´s worrying her.” Loki confessed nervously.

“A memory sharing spell? How did you even convince her to do so?” Thor asked surprised, he wouldn´t has thought Leah would agree to something like that.

“I didn´t asked her.” Loki told him with a guilty look. “I casted the spell while she was asleep, she doesn´t know I know.”

“Loki, why would you do something like that without her permission? You know it´s not …” Thor began to scold the younger god.

“What? Polite? Right? By Odin’s beard Thor you sound like mother more every day! I don´t care about being polite, I just want to help her. Don´t you remember last night?!” Loki asked him aggravated by Thor´s scolding.

“I do remember last night, and I know it´s hard but you just can´t do whatever you want. You can´t keep going behind her back, she trusts you. What will happen when she finds out?” Thor snapped back.

“She doesn´t have to find out, as a matter of fact she doesn´t even need to remember.” Loki spat furiously at him.

“Loki … you wouldn´t!” Thor answered shocked.

“Why not? It would be easier for her. I just can´t stand there and do nothing. “Loki told him frustrated; why was he asking for Thor´s permission? Why did it felt wrong? It was thr right thing to do, wasn´t it?

“Brother …” Thor toned his voice down, yelling at Loki wasn´t helping. “You can´t do it, at least not without her permission. She will eventually realize she has missing days, didn´t you told me it had been bad enough when she only had missed a couple of hours? If I recall correctly she wouldn´t stop trying to remember what happened in that missing period. She´s stronger than you think, just give her time. She´ll get through this as she always has.”

“I don´t know Thor. When I met her she was drowning in guilt, pain and alcohol and even then I never saw her that bad, not like last night. I´m leaving in a week, how can I leave knowing something like that could happen again? Maybe if she didn’t remembered doom she wouldn´t be so scared.” Loki reasoned.

“I don´t think Doom is what she´s scared of.” Thor volunteered.

“Is that so? Then tell me that if he hadn´t invaded the Tower in an attempt to kidnap her and Eerika she wouldn´t be so scared of me leaving on a mission.” Loki insisted.

“I don´t know Loki, but I do know that you will only end up hurting her if you do the deleting memories spell without her consent.” Thor told him with certainty. “You keep saying she´s too smart for her own good, she will figure it out, and then what? It´s not your place to make a decision like that for her, she might not forgive you. And what makes you think that deleting her memories will just set her right? You could be just be fucking her even more. Please Loki don´t do it.” Thor pleaded, he knew he wouldn´t be able to stop him if he decided to go through with it. “Just talk to her first, let her decide.”

Loki was pacing nervously while weighting Thor´s words. “What if she says no?” He asked anxiously.

“Then it would be her choice, and you will need to respect it.” Thor advised.

“But, what if it´s the wrong one?” Loki asked again. “What if something bad happened to her while I´m gone?”

“We won´t let anything bad happen to her … I won´t let anything happen to her brother, I promise.” Thor tried to reassure him, he had planned to tag alone on Loki´s mission at the last moment, but he understood now he was needed at Leah´s side even if it was just for Loki´s comfort.

“I don´t know … maybe I could talk to her, ask her what she wants, but if she gets any worse … I´m not sure what I´ll do.” Loki confessed.

After Leah had fed and lulled Eerika asleep in the afternoon Loki took her for a walk in the interior garden.

“This is nice.” Leah suddenly told him. “I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like we were on a date.”

“Well, we never really dated, so I guess you could call it a date if you want.” Loki smiled relieved to see her in such a better mood.

“I think I might” Leah jokingly answered. “What´s the occasion?”

“Do I have to have a reason to take you out for a walk?” Loki asked her being caught off guard.

His answer made Leah wary, it might not be just a casual walk after all. “No, and I might be wrong, but I do think you have a reason for this walk, am I right?”

“As a matter of fact …” Loki said scratching his nape nervously. “I want to ask you something…”

“All right.” Leah answered a bit nervous, what could he possibly wanted to ask her?

“If I offered you a chance to forget everything that happened since doom invaded the Tower until today, would you take it?” Loki told her while watching attentively for her reaction.

“What do you mean? How?” Leah asked puzzled while frowning deeply, she had never expected him to ask such a thing.

“There´s a spell I could use, it´s called a Deleting Memories spell. You wouldn´t remember anything I might even make you some new memories to replace the old ones.” Loki volunteered in hope she would accept.

“I … I … no, I don´t think so.” Leah answered bedazzled by his proposition as she shook her head negatively.

“Why not?” Loki asked trying not to sound angry.

“Because they wouldn´t be the truth” Leah quickly answered. “I thank you for offering, but I can´t.”

“Leah, why not? You wouldn´t be so scared any more, I would be able to leave feeling confident you were all right.” Loki volunteered.

Leah sighed as she tried to explain herself better. “I know I´ve been more a mess than usual.”

“That´s an understatement.” Loki interrupted her.

Leah ignored his comment and kept talking. “If you delete my memories of the last week you wouldn´t be only taking away the bad ones but the good ones too. And Loki … I really need the good ones; even if Doom hadn´t appeared and SHIELD hadn´t been after me I am … was … am still broken …”

“You aren´t broken.” Loki complained adamantly.

“You don’t need to lie to me about that, I know. There was too much I hadn’t faced, too much fear, too much pain, loss; even if nothing had happened those feelings would still be there. I know it doesn´t seems that way, I´m no near all right, but I´m trying, please let me try.” Leah pleaded, she was troubled she couldn´t denied it, but there were moments, especially when she was with Eerika where she felt that she might just pull through. “Help me get through this, not just erase it.”

Loki looked at her pensively, as he stared into her pleading bright blue eyes he realized he couldn´t deny her. It wouldn´t be right, she was in pain, she was struggling but she had just started to fight back, he couldn´t take that away from her.

Loki sighed as he embraced her while gently kissing her forehead before telling her. “I´m here for you; I just hope this is the right decision.”

“Me too.” Leah volunteered. “Loki, can you tell me about your mission?”

Loki stared at her surprised by her request.

“I just think I wouldn´t feel so scared if I knew what were you doing and where.” She shrugged her shoulders doubtfully.

“It´s not my decision, but I´ll ask Fury if I can debrief you. All right?” Loki offered.

“All right.” Leah accepted.

“Now, should we continue our walk my lady?” Loki courteously offered his arm to Leah as he made a small bow.

Leah blushed instantly taken aback by his sudden chivalry and shyly accepted his offer. “Yes my Lord.”

“My Lord?” Loki almost busted laughing.

“I don´t know what else to call you” Leah pouted ashamed. “I’m not royalty you know? This is too weird for me.”

“Then I guess I´ll just have to teach you in case you meet your parents-in law someday.” Loki teased her.

“Oh dear!” Leah looked slightly frightened of the prospect.

Thor and Loki returned to the Mansion reappearing in Loki´s study where he could restore his energy using the gems. They had a small talk before heading back, Thor didn´t liked the idea of Loki going on an undercover mission by himself but he had agreed to let him g on behalf of Leah´s wellbeing.

Loki was worried about Leah´s reaction once he told her about the deal he had stroke with fury; maybe he should´ve waited for her to get better before going to SHIELD, but he didn´t. It was dinner time already so they headed back to the dining room, they were all there except for Leah.

Loki asked Steve worryingly “Where´s Leah? Why isn´t she here?”

Steve stood up and took Loki out of the dining room. “She refused to join us, she claimed she wasn´t hungry; she feed and put Eerika to sleep before locking herself in your room. I´m afraid she´s still upset about your fight earlier; I tried talking to her but she just keeps acting as if you weren´t coming back. You really need to talk to her.”

“I´m not sure that talking to her will help.” Loki wryly admitted. “I stroke a deal with Fury … I will do an undercover mission for him in exchange for Leah´s freedom.”

Steve sighed displeased as he slightly nodded his head negatively. “When do you leave?” He finally asked him with a worried frown.

“In a week but I´ll be reporting to Fury on almost daily bases.” Loki lied to Steve, he needed to have a pretext for going out of the Mansion to convince the Sinister Six to join the mission.

Steve sighed displeased again as he placed a hand over Loki´s shoulder he told him. “Then I guess you should make every moment count; go to her I´m sure she´ll be glad to see you.” Then gave him a gentle push towards his room.

“I hope so.” Loki sighed worried as he walk down the hall, she had already been through so much, and now … he would have to put her through some more.

When he walked into his room after magically unlocking the door he found Leah half asleep curled up over the bed; she still had her clothes on and was tightly hugging his pillow in a desperate attempt to find some comfort on its familiar scent. She had been crying, the redness on her half closed eyes gave her away. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn´t even noticed Loki until he leaned next to her in order to look into her eyes. “Leah? You missed dinner …” He told her in a sweet loving tone. Leah looked up at him, for a second it didn´t seem she recognized him, her empty stare made Loki´s heart cringe.

“Loki? Loki!” She jumped up and embraced him tight. “I thought you weren´t coming back.” She confessed while new tears rolled out of her eyes.

“Don´t be silly! I will always come back to you.” He returned her embrace, he could feel her heart beating fast. “I´m sorry about earlier, I shouldn´t have snapped at you like that; I regret telling you that you were an arrogant child that …”

“No, you were right. I shouldn´t had tried to tell you what to do.” She interrupted him, her voice broke when she added. “It´s not my place.”

“What did you just said?” Loki asked her bewildered.

“It´s not my place.” Leah repeated shyly. “There’s no reason for you to listen to me.” She ended while bowing her head down.

Loki looked at her surprised; Thor had been right about one thing, but it wasn´t her heart that had broken, it was her spirit. She just had gave up, she had never done so before. It only made Loki feel even guiltier about what he had to say to her.

“No, Leah, that´s not true. I value your opinion, it´s just that sometimes …” He paused for a moment trying to find the right words when she interrupted him again.

“It´s doesn´t matter.” She dryly told him.

“But it does matter.” Loki spat upset.

“If you say so.” Leah weakly acknowledged, she didn´t saw the point any more, in her heart everything seem lost, even with Loki at her side she felt as she had already lost him.

“Leah, please. You are making this harder than it needs to be.” Loki tried to restrain his anger and hide it; he couldn´t decide if he was angrier at her for giving up or at him for putting her in that place.

“You talked to Fury….” Was her response, her worst fears were coming true, she could just feel it.

“Yes, I did.” Loki admitted, he would have to tell her sooner or later. “We made a deal”

“What sort of deal?” Leah asked him anxiously, if only she could stop shaking she wouldn´t feel so weak.

“I´ll do a mission for him and then he´ll drop all the charges against you, he´ll even provide protection for Eerika and yourself should we ever need it.” Loki informed her as he watched attentively her reactions; she had started shaking again, maybe he should´ve lied to her.

Leah closed her eyes trying to pull herself together as she opened them back she asked. “What kind of mission? Her eyes were overfilled with tears.

“Leah, please don´t cry. It´s just a mission I will be all right. You have nothing to worry about.” He lied to her, what else could he do?

“Is Thor going with you?” she asked next as if she hadn´t heard him at all.

“No, I´ll be going alone.” Loki bit his lower lip as he told her.

“Alone?” Leah looked up at him while she held her own hands trying to stop them from shaking. “Alone, why?” She asked again, her tears were running freely now.

“It´s an undercover mission, I have to do it alone.” Loki kept trying to reassure her. “I´ll be all right, you have nothing to worry about.”

The more Loki told Leah she had nothing to worry about the more Leah worried, she could feel her stomach becoming upset with nausea. She had tried to still her crying but she just couldn´t any more, he wasn´t going to come back, he was going to die and it was her fault. “Why did you do it?” She reproached him between cries.

“For you.” Loki confessed. “I can´t let you sacrifice everything. I can´t just stand by and watch you wither away.”

“Why not?” Leah whined. “We would´ve been together and alive, and now …” She couldn´t end her phrase she was crying to hard.

“Leah, stop it! You are overreacting! I´m not death, I´m not going to die. Everything is all right, you need to calm down.” Loki yelled at her upset, he just didn´t seem to be reaching her.

“Everything is all right?” Leah repeated in a hysterical laughter. Was she going crazy then? Was her mind so broken she couldn´t see that? Who would take care of Eerika then? With Loki gone and herself two steps from insanity. In that overwhelming instant the nausea she had been repressing became stronger; she fought the urge to vomit for a moment, but it was useless. She suddenly ran to the bathroom barely getting there on time to spill the meager contents of her stomach into the toilet. Loki had followed her the instant she sprang of the bed and looked at her both surprised and worried as she threw up.

“By the norns Leah! Are you all right?” He asked her as he knelt by her side trying to help her get her hair out of the way.

“Don´t touch me!” Leah snapped at him as she kept crying desperately.

“Leah, please! Let me take you to Bruce, he might be able to help you.” He tried to help her up.

Leah fought his attempt to pick her up with furious strength only to drop herself seconds later next to the toilet crying uncontrollably.

Loki looked at her with despair, she needed help but she wouldn´t allow him to touch her. He could try to force her but he was afraid she might hurt herself struggling against him. He couldn´t leave her alone to get help either. Teleporting her in that state might be dangerous; he just hoped there was still someone in the dining room, she didn’t had time for him to look for them all over the Mansion. With a frustrated grunt he closed his eyes as he chanted some magic words; in the dining room an astral projection appeared before Thor who was still dining animatedly. “Thor! Bring Bruce, she needs help. Hurry!”

Thor sprang out of the diner room, more than Loki´s words the anguished reflected both in his voice and his face conveyed the urgency of his plea.

In less than three minutes Thor, Bruce and tony busted into Loki´s and Leah´s room.

“Loki!” Thor shouted.

“Over here!” Loki replied, he had never felt more useless; when he returned to his body he had come back to a heart-breaking scene. Leah had curled in the floor, he could see her shaking as she kept crying her heart out.

“Shit!” Tony exclaimed, he had never seen her in such a bad state before, none of them had.

“Leah?” Bruce knelt by her side, she was having an anxiety attack, a very bad one. “Leah, you need help” He slowly told her, if she didn´t collaborated with him he might have to sedate her. “I need to touch you, is that ok?”

Leah agreed with a whimper.

Bruce carefully brushed the hair out of her face before softly pulling her up, he could feel her shaking badly. He could hear her starting to gasp for air; he held Leah´s face between his hands and looked right into her eyes, she was beyond panic; he needed to pull her back. “Leah, you are having a panic attack, remember what I told you? I need you to help me, try taking deep breaths.”

“A panic what?” Loki inquired apprehensive.

“Tony, could you explain him? I need to concentrate here.” Bruce answered quickly.

“But …” Loki wanted to ask a million questions; starting with why he wasn´t giving her any medicine.

Leah kept becoming distracted every time Loki spoke taking her eyes from Bruce as her breathing kept becoming shallower.

“And take him out of here! We need her to calm down.” Bruce spat annoyed by the interruptions. “Leah, come on focus, you can do it! I don’t want to sedate you, but you need to calm down.”

“Come Loki, let the Doctor do his job, she will be all right.” Tony volunteered while leading Loki out of the bathroom followed by Thor.

As they both explained Loki what was a panic attack, the causes, the symptoms and the basic of what to do and what not to Loki sat heavily in the bed. If only he had knew all that moments before, he had told her all the wrong things. How was he supposed to know that telling Leah everything was all right would push her over the edge?

“What happened?” Thor inquired.

As Loki recounted them what had happened Tony snapped furiously. “You just had to drop that bomb on her right now, didn´t you? She was barely holding herself together. Now look what you have done!”

“It wasn´t my intention! I didn´t knew this was going to happen!” Loki defended himself.

Thor had to intervene pulling them apart. “Stop that this instant! You fighting each other won´t help her!”

“He started it!” Tony spat still enraged. “Why couldn´t you just wait?”

“Because I didn´t knew if Fury´s offer would expire, I had to find out what he wanted. She can´t live as a prisoner for the rest of her life; always looking over her shoulder. She doesn´t think I’ve noticed, but I see it every day, at first it was little things, unharmful comments but now she´s giving up.” His voice broke at that point.

Tony looked up at him concerned “What do you mean she´s giving up?”

“I told her some days ago she was an arrogant child who didn´t knew her place; when I came back tonight I tried to apologize and she said that I shouldn´t apologize because I was right. She would never taken that kind of crap from me before, she would´ve never let me see the end of it, and she just took it, that´s something she wouldn´t do … I´m losing her. Thor I can´t lose her.” He turned to Thor anguished. “She doesn´t even know how much I need her, I really can´t lose her.” He looked at the verge of tears.

“I know.” A small voice answered his desperate claim.

They turned around to see Bruce helping Leah to the bed, he had finally managed to calm her down.

“Leah, are you all right?” Loki hurried to her.

“I´m sorry.” She answered. “I´m not” She sighed. “I can´t stop it.”

“Yes, you can.” Bruce intervened. “You just need some help, and for the moment I think you need some rest. Loki could I talk to you for a moment? Tony, Thor; could you keep Leah accompanied for a moment?”

“Sure.” Tony answered as he approached Leah and help her sat on the bed. “Come on love, let´s get you comfy, all right?”

“Ok.” Leah agreed weakly, she felt totally drained.

As Bruce and Loki walked out of the room the dark haired god turned and asked. “Is she going to be all right?”

“I hope so Loki, the mind is a complicated thing, but if you add your upcoming departure to what happened with Doom and the fact that she´s barely given birth a week ago …”

“I know, it´s too much; maybe I should´ve waited.” Loki admonished himself mentally, why had he been in such a hurry?

“I don´t know if that would´ve made a difference. If it gives you any comfort I think that you were right to go to Fury, she can´t keep being locked up neither here nor in the Tower whether she realizes it or not it´s not good for her. But I´m afraid she´s going to need your help to get through this. A moment ago I had to threaten her with sedation if she couldn´t calm herself down, do you know what she said?”

Loki nodded negatively.

“She begged me not to do it because she feared you would be gone by the time she woke up.” Bruce regretfully told him. “She´s terrified about the fact you might leave and not return; and I really can´t blame her, unintentionally we´ve all reinforced the idea that neither her nor Eerika would be safe outside. She wouldn´t be able to follow you out of fear of endangering your daughter, in her own mind she is already trapped here, that´s why it´s so easy for her to accept remaining here.”

“What do I do? I just want her to get better.” Loki asked anxiously.

“I´m not even sure Loki, psychiatry isn´t really my area. She needs therapy but unfortunately I´m afraid we can´t provide it, at least not like she needs it right now. Unless …” Bruce stopped while considering his next words.

“Unless what?” Loki pressed for an answer.

“Unless you are willing to ask Fury to lend us a therapist” As he looked the surprise in Loki´s face he added. “I know, we wouldn´t be sure if we could trust him or her and there´s no guarantee Leah would accept anyway. Maybe we should try to sort this out by ourselves.” Loki had remained pensive considering their options, none of them appeared particularly helpful or hopeful. “Either way” Bruce continued. “You´re going to need to be very patient with her; even with her healing factor it might take her a day to get back to … let´s say normal. It´s not unusual that after a panic attack as bad as the one she just had that there´s some physical consequences; she might feel weak, tired, lightheaded but I´m more worried about her getting depressed. If she gets any worse I´ll have to medicate her.”

“Why not do it know?” Loki inquired, wouldn´t it be simpler?

“Two reasons, the first is that the solution may be as bad as the attacks itself because of the side-effects but most importantly is that if I gave her something she wouldn´t be able to breastfeed Eerika. And Loki, she needs that connection if we take that away from her we might be pushing her over the edge.” Bruce explained.

“This is all my fault; if I hadn´t saved her that day.” Loki felt overwhelmed, he had only brought trouble to her life.

“She would be dead Loki.” Bruce reminded him. “I know that if you could somehow spare her from suffering you would, we all would in a heartbeat. But sometimes life isn´t fair and we just need to accept it, make our peace with it and move on. She needs you to be strong for her; remind her why she needs to get better.”

“Will you take care of her when I leave?” Loki asked, fear was written in his eyes, fear of losing her.

“We all will.” Bruce reassured him. “Just make sure to return in one peace. And afterwards if everything is all right you might want to consider taking her away on vacations. I´m sure Tony has a dessert island on his name somewhere.”

“I wouldn´t doubt it.” Loki answered with a small smile.

“Me neither.” Bruce smiled back. “Stop looking so serious, if she sees you that worried she´ll get even more scared.”

“I´ll do my best.” Loki grimaced, it wouldn´t be easy.

When they walked back they noticed Leah had fallen asleep over Tony´s lap who absentmindedly stroked her hair gently. Thor was sitting beside them looking worryingly at Leah.

“Ahem!” Loki cleared his throat trying to get their attention, they had all got very cozy on their bed.

Tony looked up to see Loki´s confused glare and told him amused. “Sorry Loki, I´m just keeping your place warm. She just fall asleep.”

“It´s all right, I know you care for her.” Loki acknowledged before adding. “But if you don´t mind I´m quite tired myself” He wasn´t but he longed to be alone with her.

“Of course.” Thor agreed as he got up followed by Tony who gently placed Leah´s head over a pillow.

“You´d better take care of her.” Tony told Loki with in a stern tone.

“I will, I promise.” Loki answered with an equal stern look.

As soon as they left he slid in bed next to her; after making sure he wouldn´t wake her up he embraced her making sure to rest her head against his chest, she had once told him that his heartbeat was the most comforting sound she had ever heard. Bruce suggestion lingered in his mind as he dreamt of white sandy beaches.

“What do you know about Narobia?” Fury asked Loki as he settled in his chair.

“Not much, only that it neighbors’ Wakanda and it was ruled by Princess Xanda until General Cayman Okanjo overthrone her a couple of years ago, why?” Loki answered intrigued by fury´s question.

“Because that´s the reason I need you and the black operation team. When General Cayman took over he financed mining operations all over the country and found a rich vibranium deposit; that´s when he draw our attention.” Fury told him in a stern voice.

“All right.” Loki acknowledged.

“Okanjo sold us vibranium but unfortunately we weren´t their only party interested. It bothers me to admit they had fools us for a long time, it was just dumb luck that we found out a couple of months ago that he had allied with Hydra. Needless to say that Hydra provided Okanjo with all sorts of technologies, he went from being just another dictator to a serious menace. We are talking about state of the art weaponry, biological weapons, chemical weapons, mind control, and even a super soldier program. Their plan is to first invade Wakanda which will allow them to take a hold of the entire region expanding their power through the continent and eventually to the rest of the world.”

“It sounds like a job for the Avengers, why haven´t you assigned them this mission?” Loki inquired, there had to be more going on that what Fury had told him so far.

“Because it´s not a wreck their plans and bring them to justice kind of mission” Fury leaned over his desk before adding. “It´s strictly a cleaning operation.”

“No witnesses, no prisoners.” Loki frowned as he realized exactly what Fury was asking. “May I ask why?”

“That´s where things get complicated.” Fury volunteered. “When we bought their vibranium we unwillingly founded their operations. The World Security Council can never find out about this; they would try to shut us down and that includes everything SHIELD has ever had his hands on.”

“The Avengers.” Loki said with a frown.

“They have never liked us and they especially fear the Avengers; they only need an excuse to try to shut us down and I don´t intent on giving it to them.” Fury added decisively.

“I can´t believe you wanted Leah involved in this, do you realize she doesn´t have the training for this kind of mission?” Loki spat annoyed.

“Do you have a better solution? I can´t use regular agents because of Okango´s super soldiers, and I can´t call the Avengers due to the nature of the mission. So, who´s left? I had to come up with a new team, a super powered team to be exact, preferably someone unknown so if something went wrong they couldn´t be tied back to SHIELD. I don´t exactly have people lining up for this kind of job; ever since we found about Okanjo´s true intentions we´ve been searching but until now we have only found two viable candidates besides Leah and yourself.” Loki could hear the tension on Fury´s voice.

“And let me guess, they don´t have the required training.” Loki claimed with a grim look on his face, this business was going from bad to worst.

“We´ve been training them for a couple of months now.” Fury offered.

“But they are no near ready.” Loki knew a mission like the one Fury suggested needed people with years of experience especially if he wanted to walk out of there alive. “If I´m going to lead this team I´m not taking any rookies with me; they are the best chance of everything going wrong. Can´t you ask for Wakanda´s help? After all we are trying to prevent them from being invaded.”

Fury looked at Loki displeased “If I could just enroll Wakanda´s help, don´t you think I´d already done it?

“What about mercs?” Loki suggested, he felt they were running out of options.

“Do you know any mercs with that kind the kind of powers we need?” Fury asked Loki very interested on his reply.

“Not mercs exactly, but yes I think they could be just what we need.” Loki volunteered as he rubbed his chin pensively before answering Fury. “The Sinister Six.”

Fury pondered for a moment Loki’s suggestion. “I agree they are powerful, but do you really think we can recruit them for this mission?”

“If you can come up with enough money, I’m sure they will agree. Besides they already know how to work as a team, it will save us a lot of time and for what you have told me I have the distinct impression that´s the one thing we are running of.”

“Yes, we are. We don´t know the exact date but our reports indicate us that Okanjo´s forces are rallying on.” Fury agreed.

“Other advantage is that none of them would have any moral issues about the mission’s objective.” Loki added, although he wasn’t confident that that last statement applied to him anymore.

“All right, it might not be what I had in mind but I think it could work. But I have two additions to your team and they are not negotiable.” Fury informed him in a very serious tone.

“Who?” Loki asked annoyed.

“Doom and myself.” Fury plainly told him.

“Are you out of your fucking mind? I´m not working with Doom! He tried to kill Leah!” Loki stood up enraged. “I won´t do it.”

“I already told you it´s not negotiable.” Fury stood up too. “If you want me to drop the charges against Leah you will do as I say. I don´t care if you like it. He´s almost as good as strategist as you are, not to mention a powerful mage. We need all the help we can fucking get!”

Loki paced for a moment considering his options. “All right” He finally growled. “But I have some conditions on my own and they are not negotiable either.”

“What do you want?” Fury asked with a winning smug on his face.

“This will be the only mission I´ll do for you, if you ever need my help again you´d better call the Avengers. You will not only drop the charges against Leah, you will remove her and Eerika from any damn mission you can come up with in the future, I don´t care if the world is ending; you will leave them both out of it.”

“Eerika?” Fury asked raising his eyebrows.

“My daughter.” Loki dryly replied. “Furthermore if they ever need protection you´d better provide it, it doesn´t matter if it´s for something as trivial as a walk in the park or for a full-fledge invasion. You will protect them at all costs.”

“I think I can manage that.” Fury agreed. “Anything else?”

“If Doom double cross us I will kill him.” Loki added.

“If he betrays us you´ll have to beat me to it.” Fury offered.

“As long as he´s death I think I can live with that.” Loki agreed. “I know I´m going to regret asking this, but how did you managed to enroll him on this mission?”

“By telling him that someone else was going to beat him at the conquer Earth game; the arrogant bastard doesn´t like competition.” Fury answered with an ironic smile.

“No, he doesn´t.” Loki admitted.

“How long will it take you to gather your team?” Fury asked

“I don´t know their current whereabouts.” Loki answered, he had been off the game for a while now.

“I might be able to help you with that.” Fury told him. “You´ll have their current locations by tomorrow.”

“All right, since you can´t sent the information to Jarvis I´ll drop by tomorrow evening.” Loki informed him.

“What are you going to tell the Avengers?” Fury asked anxiously.

“That you want me to do an undercover mission in exchange for Leah´s freedom.” Loki answered. “That will keep them from trying to join in.”

“Well thought.” Fury nodded in agreement.

“You can save your compliments; it´s not like you gave me much choice. And I hate to admit it but you are right about one thing Okanjo needs to be stopped before he tries to invade Wakanda, if he succeeded on it he might become unstoppable.” Loki grimly added while he kept thinking about how to break the news to Leah, she was right about one thing, it was a very dangerous affair.

It had taken a while but by the end of the week all the Avengers were at Loki´s mansion, they were all eager to see Leah and Eerika. Bruce had taken a portable lab to make sure both of them were all right. Tony was setting up the mansion´s communication center so they would have an open untraceable line between the mansion and the Avenger´s Tower. The kitchen was now insufficient to host everyone there so they had to move to the main dinner room which became boisterous. Eerika was already a week old a good enough reason to celebrate, or at least it seemed that way.

Loki had been evading the subject of Fury´s proposal all together in front of Leah, but he hadn’t forgotten about it; he and Thor had been talking a lot since the bold god had arrived to the Mansion. After much debating Loki had decided he should at least find out what Fury wanted; if it was something either he or Leah would be willing to give he much rather have SHIELD covering their back than after them. Leah sensed he was up to something but decided to refrain from mentioning after their second fight over the subject. Neither of them would give in into the other´s plan. Loki´s complaint about her offering herself to Doom had finally taken its toll on that second argument.

“So it´s all right for you to willing fully surrender yourself to Doom but I can´t even talk to Fury. I am the one that´s supposed to protect you … you arrogant mortal child. Not the other way around! You should know your place by now!” Loki regretted his words instantly, he hadn´t meant to put her down; he just wanted her to allow him to protect her from any more battles. He was the more experienced one, he should be the one fighting their battles, not her. But even so he made no effort to apologize.

Leah just stared at him both hurt and angry before spatting furiously. “So I am beneath you.”

“When it comes to battles, yes.” Loki claimed holding her stare.

Leah knew he was right, if it came to fighting experience he was several hundred years in front of her but that didn´t meant he should dismiss her so easily. “Then I´ll just have to catch up with you.” She informed him angrily as she walked out of their room.

Later that day she had asked Clint to start training her again; this time for real. She was so pissed-off at Loki´s demeaning statement Clint had to ask Steve for his help; she needed someone who could spar with her at the same level.

During lunch an unintended comment from Leah unleashed their quarrel. “Yes, it´s too bad grandparents enjoy their grandchildren even more than their own child.” She had been thinking of her own parents, both of them had died in the crash, they would´ve loved meeting Eerika, she was sure of it. Loki would be very difficult to explain … but Eerika, they would’ve loved her open hearted.

She had barely ended her sentence when Loki spat enraged as he stood up. “That´s it! I´m done with you telling me what to do. We are not going to Asgard! And I´m going to talk to Fury regardless of your opinion.”

Luckily Eerika had been in Bruce´s arms the instant everything went wrong. Leah´s face grew red both with embarrassment and anger, he had never talked to her like that in public before. “Fine!” She yelled as she stood up rivaling Loki´s fury. “Do as you want, see if I care.” Next she stormed out of the dinner room.

“Fine, I will!” Loki yelled back as he stormed out on the opposite direction.

“Wait! Loki! Leah!” Steve called them back without any luck. “Dammit!” He stood up a at the same time Thor did.

“I´ll go for Loki.” Thor volunteered.

“I´ll go for Leah then.” Steve agreed then turned to ask. “Bruce …?”

“We´ll be all right, go.” Bruce answered.

After they both left Bruce let out a sigh, he look at Eerika who had started crying when all the shouting began. “Shh, little one, it´s ok. They will be all right, everything will be all right … in time.”

“You really think that Bruce?” Natasha asked worryingly.

“I hope so Nat. I hate to admit it but I think Loki is right, he should at least talk to Fury to find out what he wants. Leah had been cut out from … well, you know real life for seven months now, it´s starting to show whether she realizes it or not. Being locked in her isn´t good for her.”

“And I hope that once this nasty business is settled they still have a relationship to work on.” Clint told them concerned by the last turn of the events.

“Don´t say that Clint! After all that has happened do you think they would really break up?” Natasha asked in a worried tone.

“I don´t know.” Clint answered shrugging his shoulders. “Some things are harder to take back than others.”

“Don´t jinx them Clint, you are going to scare Eerika.” Tony said taking another sip from his glass, he was worried too even if he didn´t wanted to admit it.

“Leah? Are you all right?” Steve asked her as he found Leah in the interior garden, she seemed to be spending more time there as her relationship with Loki became increasingly difficult. She was sitting down resting her back on a tree with her head tilted up and her eyes closed. “Yes and no.” Was her answer; she opened her eyes to look at Steve. “I didn´t meant anything by it, you know? I was thinking of my own parents, not his. He didn’t had to yell at me like that.” Her voice sounded as sad as her eyes conveyed.

“Things hasn´t been all right between the two of you, am I right?” Steve asked her siting down by her side.

“He hardly talks to me anymore.” Leah confessed. “Would you please leave me alone Steve?”

“Why?” Steve asked her, she did seem like she needed to talk.

“Because I don´t want you to see me cry.” Leah answered fighting back her tears.

“Since when?” Steve asked her sympathetically.

“Since you all think I´m going to break down at the first sign of trouble.” Leah answered biting her lower lip, a single tear over flooded her eyes and ran down her cheek; she dried it out immediately.

“We are just worried about you, so is Loki that´s why he´s so angry at you.” Steve tried to explain her. “Try to understand, he just wants you to be all right.”

“I would be all right if he remained safe.” Leah spat as she buried her head between her arms that laid over her knees.

“Leah, we are taking about Loki, he´s one of the most powerful persons I know, you should really stop worrying.” Steve admonished her.

“I know, but my brain simply refuses to stop worrying Steve. I just managed to stop dwelling about the past and now I´m stuck worrying about the future. Why can´t he just let it go? I could accept living here if he just stayed with me.” Leah confessed, she started to feel like she was losing her mind.

“Leah, you can´t live here for the rest of your life, it´s not good for you. And Loki knows it.” Steve told her.

“Why not?” She asked in a half tone, she couldn´t hold her tears back any more.

Steve hugged her trying to provide some comfort. “Because you need to go out, to be around people, take walks in the park with Loki and Eerika, maybe even go to the beach, go to the movies, I don’t know all the things normal people take for granted. You did nothing wrong, you shouldn´t have to lose everything. Loki just wants you to have all that and more.”

“And I just want them to be alive and safe.” Leah volunteered in a whining tone.

“Leah, I´m telling you; Loki is a very intelligent and experienced warrior, you don´t have to worry like that for him, he has his magic back and he has two powerful reasons to vanquish any obstacle that may come up.” Steve kept trying to put her fears at ease.

“I don´t know … maybe one. I really don´t think he likes me that much anymore. Leah told Steve between sniffling’s. “And I really don´t blame him.”

“Leah, it can´t possibly be that bad.” Steve comforted her. “Every relationship has its ups and downs. It´s just a rough patch, you will put this behind you soon.”

“I hope so.” Leah answered drying her tears. “He´s gone right? He went to talk to Fury.”

“Maybe, he seemed decided. But don´t worry Thor went after him; he´l make sure he comes back to you.”

“What if he doesn´t? What if that argument were the last words we spoke to each other?” Leah sounded anguished, her imagination kept portraying the worst conceivable scenarios.

“I´m sure they won’t be; either way try to make peace with him when he gets back.” Steve suggested. “Do you know the old saying never go to sleep …“

“Angry.” Leah ended his phrase-

“Exactly!” Steve agreed cheerfully. “It might be an old advice but it´s a good one.”

“I´m sure is.” Leah acknowledged. “He accused me of being a … foolish child, maybe he was right. “ Leah didn´t felt like repeating Loki exact words.

“You maybe a child compared to him. Hey! Even I’m a child by Asgardian standards. But that doesn´t mean we are either childish or foolish. We just feel things differently, our lifespan is so short compared to theirs that I think we should hold each moment precious and not squander them. You know stop worrying about tomorrow and living in the here and now sort of deal, you´ll never know when your world is going to change.”

“That´s deep.” Leah exclaimed surprised at the sudden turn of their conversation, if only she could stop worrying about the future, if only she could find the switch on her head to make her stop.

“And true.” Steve added.

Even if she understood and agreed with Steve about everything; she couldn´t help feeling anxious but decided not to mention it to any of them. I can manage this by myself she thought, right?

“Loki! Loki! Wait!” Thor had to run to caught up with him, he was marching in a hurry to his study.

“If you came to stop me you are out of luck!” Loki swiftly told him without stopping. “I´m talking to Fury today and that´s that.”

“I´m not here to stop you Loki, you know I agree with you. You should find out what Fury wants.” Thor volunteered “Though you shouldn´t had been so hard on Leah earlier; I´m sure her comment wasn´t supposed to mean anything.”

“I wouldn´t know; we hardly have spoken to each other the last couple of days.” It seemed longer he thought, how things had gotten so bad between them so fast?

Thor sighed, it was no secret they were having troubles but he had hoped they wouldn´t be so bad.

“Loki … the day we fought on Central Park. The day you told me about your feelings for her …”

“I remember.” Loki dryly told him.

“I never told you something that happened earlier that day. I was looking for Leah, she had missed breakfast and I was worried. I finally found her on the rooftop I could tell she had been crying; I offered to take her to Asgard again, to acknowledge her child as my own … she refused, we argued. Angered for her negative I asked her what was what she wanted. I can´t have what I want, that´s what she told me. I couldn´t accept that as an answer so I forced her to tell me what it was.”

Loki was listening attentively to his brother´s recollection puzzled by the relevance of his story.

“Between tears she confessed; I believe for the first time she realized that what she really wanted was you Loki. She wanted you even when she thought you were lost for her, even when she had no hope of ever seeing you again. Never form that moment on has she done or said something that has lead me to believe she has changed her mind about that. She´s just too scared Loki.”

“Scared of what Thor?” Loki answered annoyed. “She treats me as if I was useless, she would had let Doom rape her just to keep me safe. I just can´t allow her to keep doing that sort of thing, she undermines me.

“For being the smart one you are very dumb brother.” Thor told him with sympathy. “She´s scared out of her mind of losing you again, she would do anything to prevent that from happening. Love makes us do foolish things, do you really need any more prove of how much she loves you? She´s not trying to undermine you; she´s just too scared of the thought of living without you.”

Loki´s face frowned; had they been entangled on a grim contest about who would yield more for the other? Because the answer seemed clear enough, they would both forfeit their lives for the other. Why had they been fighting for?

“I called her an arrogant child who didn´t knew her place.” Loki confessed ashamed.

Thor looked at him surprised. “No wonder she is mad at you. You know you ow her an apology?”

“I don´t know.” Loki answered unsure, he did knew but he wasn´t willing to apologize just yet.

“Loki!” Thor scolded him.

“Dammit Thor! You are worse than mother … I´ll apologize when and if I want to.” Loki replied angered.

“Just don´t wait until you lose her to do so.” Thor replied annoyed by Loki´s childish reply.

“I thought you said …” Loki started to answered hurt by Thor´s statement.

“Loki, even the most fierce and strongest maidens have fragile hearts; if you are not careful you are going to break hers.” Thor answered patiently, that she loved him didn´t meant she couldn´t just stop.

“I …” Loki kept pensive for a moment, he had never intended to hurt her even less to do something that would tear them apart. “I probably should apologize when we return.”

“We?” Thor asked surprised.

“Of course, you didn´t thought I was going to talk to Fury by myself, did you? That … would be foolish.” Loki replied with a smirk on his face.

“You always knew I was going to follow you.” Thor reasoned laughing.

“Well, you are very predictable brother, shall we go? I want to come back as soon as we can.”

It didn´t took them long to arrive to the hellicarrier after they made a quick stop at the Avenger´s Tower to ask to Jarvis the current coordinates for the vessel.

“You took your time.” Was Fury´s words when he saw Loki.

“I´ve been occupied.” Loki replied dryly. “What do you want?”

“I think we should discuss this privately.” Furt suggested.

“Why would I want to do that?” Loki spat crossed.

“Because IU won´t tell you otherwise.” Fury replied calmly. “I understand you don’t truth me, but I´ll assure you if you agree to give me what I want I´ll make sure no one tries to take Leah from your side ever again.”

“I can do that by myself.” Loki replied vexed.

“But you must want something, otherwise you wouldn´t had come. Thor can wait in the control room. I´m sure he would tear the hellicarrier apart if we held you against your will.”

“You can be sure of that.” Thor agreed tapping Mjolnir with his hand.

“All right, Thor, would you wait for me in the control room? If I´m not back in an hour you know what to do.” Loki told Thor without losing Fury from his sight.

“I do brother.” Thor agreed as he walked out.

“As we are in a tight schedule let´s get to the point.” Fury told him. “How´s Leah?”

“Still recuperating.” Loki replied defensively. “What do you want?”

Fury looked upset, he had hoped at first for her to be in top condition after a couple of days, that until he had interrogated Doom. He know knew they should´ve intervened the moment they arrived; he hadn´t thought Doom´s twisted logic would make him interested in Leah in a more carnal fashion.

“Doom thinks she´s dead. And we allow him to keep thinking that. He won´t go after her again.” He reassured Loki.

“Why would you do that?” Loki asked intrigued by Fury´s apparent sudden interest on Leah´s welfare.

“I needed her and you to lead a black operations team; I didn´t counted on Doom … messing her up.” He confessed. “But I still need you both on the team. How long do you think it will take her to get back to her feet?”

“She´s not going to fight for you! I won´t allow it.” Loki answered enraged.

“Then everything is lost … it was a slim chance anyway.” Fury sighed disappointed.

“What do you mean by that? What´s so important you would dare ask me to let her fight again after Doom nearly killed her? And whyt do you need my help? Why don´t you just cal the Avengers?” He asked bewildered, Fury´s last statement worried him.

“I can´t ask them.” Fury replied disturbed. “They wouldn´t accept the mission anyway and if they did it would only destroy them. We need them, so I won’t.”

“And you want me to accept this mission and bring Leah with me, are you out of your mind?” Loki felt even more puzzled, what could be the situation that called for such uncommon procedures.

“If you let me talk to her I´m sure she would accept.” Fury volunteered.

“You don´t even know her!” Loki spat annoyed by his assumption.

“Maybe not personally, but all I needed to know I learnt from her fight with Doom. You might chose to ignore it but she reminds me of your friend Sif; and even of Steve himself. She won´t stop fighting no matter what if she thinks it´s worth it even at great personal cost. That would make her invaluable in this mission, and of course having super soldier strength and reflexes isn’t just a bonus.” Fury explained calmly.

“Even if I agreed with you, what makes you think she would agree to participate on your mission?” Loki asked intrigued.

“The greater good,” Was Fury´s enigmatic reply. “Besides, now that she´s a mother I´m quite sure she would like to keep this world safe for her child.”

That´s a cheap low blow, Loki thought but an effective one anyway. Playing with new parents emotions like that, whatever was happening certainly had Fury on edge.

“I don´t care how valuable or indispensable you think she is for this mission; I won´t take her with me.” Loki replied, he couldn´t deny Fury had stroke a nerve, keeping the world safe for his family was amongst his top priorities, that was one of the reasons why he had chosen to join the Avengers.

“So, you are joining this mission?” Fury asked pleasantly surprised. For a moment he had thought Loki wouldn´t agree to be involved.

“Don´t look so surprised, haven´t you just said so? There´s not much a father wouldn´t do to keep his child safe and for the moment Earth is our home. Now, will you just tell me what is this mission you claimed to be of the utmost importance?” Loki asked as he sat in front of Fury.

“Before I tell you, I need you to understand that you can´t talk about it to no one, only a handful of people know about his and I intend to keep it that way.” Fury told him with a very serius tone while leaning over his desk.

“All right, I understand. Will you tell me in what kind of mess I got myself into?” Loki agreed annoyed.n

“Do you really think she´s all right Loki?” Clint asked with a worried frown over his face.

“I don´t know Clint, it seems that way. She´s better at least, I think she doesn´t has any more flashbacks. But I´m still worried of such a sudden change.” Loki confessed she had gone from totally messed up to reasonable fine in less than a day.

“Well, ASD only last a couple of days, maybe she is better. I guess we´ll just have to keep an eye on her to be sure.” Clint suggested shrugging his shoulders, neither of them were qualified to asses her mental health. His expression grew serious as he asked. “Are you really sure you want to fdo this now? We could still wait a couple of days.”

“No, we need to know where we are standing. Besides it will only take a couple of minutes, we don´t even have to tell her.“ Loki didn´t wanted to tell Leah, she would worry too much; she might even beg him not to do it.

“She will find out, especially if you find Tony.” Clint pointed out, he understood the reasons Loki had for not telling her, but he also knew she would get angry at both of them without a doubt.

“I´ll deal with her later, how does your midgardian saying goes? Better ask forgiveness than …”

“Ask permission” Clint ended his phrase. “All right but if you find any SHIELD agents in the Tower forget about Tony and come back right away.”

“I will, don´t worry.” Loki told him with a smile, humans worry too much he thought to himself.

“Do you remember all the places Tony could be at? Clint asked him.

“His lab, the kitchen, the research level, the bar, Bruce´s lab.” Loki answered quickly “Science, food or alcohol, he seems one mind kind of guy.”

“Not really, he´s just a bit focused” Clint smirked. “Luckily for us, do you have your gems?”

“Of course.” Loki took them off his pocket and showed them to Clint. “I´ll be back in 15 minutes top.”

“All right.” Clint nodded affirmatively.

As soon as he agreed Loki had disappeared, he walked through the paths of Yggdrasil better known in Midgard as Ley lines. Everything seems duller, opaque, dim; it didn´t took him long to get to the Tower.

“All right, no guards, no soldiers, no agents. So far so good. ” He thought to himself as he walked through the shadows trying to find Tony.

He looked for him in his lab first, then Bruce´s lab and research level. Fortunately he found him as he walked out of the kitchen along with Steve and Bruce. Taking advantage of a momentary distraction of Steve and Bruce he slid behind Tony and placed his hand over Tony´s mouth preventing him of alerting the others as he pulled him into the shadows. Within the next second they had emerged in Loki´s mansion.

Loki released his grip on Tony who turned around bewildered.

“What the fuck?” Were his first words as he turned around assessing his situation.

Clint welcomed him with a smug on his face. “Hi Tony.”

“Don´t hi me, what the hell is going on? How did I get here?” Tony snapped confused. “And where is here?”

“It’s my house” Loki answered, he had been busy replenishing his energies with the gemstones. “I´m sorry for the abrupt interruption but we couldn´t risk it.”

“Risk what?” Tony asked while admiring his new surroundings, he had to admit Loki had good taste.

“What’s all that racket?” A woman´s voice asked all of the sudden, it was Leah who had heard all the commotion and came to find out the source of it. “Tony?”

“Leah!” Tony called her with a big grin on his face, she looked all right. He walked right to her and huged her tight. “I´ve been so worried for you.” He loosen his embrace to take a good look at her, besides looking a bit surprised she seemed fine. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, I am now.” Leah volunteered still recovering from her astonishment. “But how?” She looked up at Loki and Clint and gave them a disapproving glare, she would deal with them later.

“What do you mean you are now? I thought you weren’t badly injured. But don´t just look at me, tell me what happened.” He snapped at her anxiously.

“No, I wasn´t. Loki healed most of my injuries, I just had some …. Issues.” She suddenly felt too exposed, realizing she really didn´t felt like answering his questions, she looked extremely discomforted.

Both Loki and Clint picked up on her mood change and quickly intervened.

“She had ASD” Clint told Tony quickly. “It strands for …”

“Acute Stress Disorder I know, in case you forgot I was kidnapped by a bunch of terrorists once, I know about ASD and PTSD.” Tony lectured them. “How bad was it? Flashbacks?”

“And nightmares.” Loki added.

“I´m all right now.” Leah interrupted them annoyed about becoming the focus of their attention so suddenly.

“Are you sure?” Tony asked while observing her attentively, she did look a little weary but having a newborn baby could easily explain her exhaustion.

“I … think so.” Leah answered, she hadn´t actually given it much thought. She had just assumed that having the flashbacks gone and her memories back meant she was all right. She didn´t felt so scared or angry any more, although she had started to worry about their current situation. Had she just changed one prison to another? What if SHIELD tried to take her away?

Tony saw for a moment the doubt on her eyes but he was interrupted by Clint asking. “What happened with SHIELD?”

“Fury made a big scene but in the end settled with taking Doom under his custody.” Next he turned his attention back to Leah. “Are you sure you are all right?”

“I´m fine! Will you cut it out?” Leah suddenly snapped.

“I just want to make sure, you don´t have to bite my head off.” Tony complained irritated.

Leah felt trapped, unconsciously she placed one of her hands over the scar of her chest as she nervously fiddled with her clothes. Why did he had to keep pushing?

“Leah!” Loki snapped her out of her thoughts, concern could be heard in his voice.

“What?!” Leah asked annoyed.

“Leah, you are shaking …” Loki informed her concerned.

“I …” Leah raised one of her hands to test his claim, her expression changed from angry to surprised, she hadn´t even noticed. “I … I need a moment.” She told them as she walked away in a hurry.

“Why did you do that?” Loki inquired Tony furiously.

“I´m sorry. I just had to make sure.” Tony apologized.

“Make sure of what?” Clint asked intrigued.

“That she was well enough.” Tony answered with a sigh. “After everything settled Bruce and I took in the task of reconstructing Doom´s stay in the Tower, we wanted to make sure he hadn’t left any surprises behind. Unwillingly that also lead us to find out everything that happened when Leah was alone with him.”

“What do you mean? What happened? She claims he didn’t raped her, that he just … touched her.” Loki inquired anxiously, had she being lying about that?

“And that’s the truth, but it wasn´t just that he touched her, it was about the way he did it, the look in his eyes while he did it. I can´t tell you how relived we were when the taped showed us she managed to escape. And afterwards … I don´t care if she explained you what he did to her while they were fighting … it was just plainly vicious. I can´t explain it you would´ve had to see it. I am glad she is feeling better but I don´t see how could she be totally recuperated after that.”

“She´s stronger than you think.” Loki told him dryly.

“Maybe, but I had to make sure before …” Tony started to say.

“You keep saying that, make sure before what? Clint asked annoyed.

“Before I tell you the truth about what really happened with Fury.” Tony confessed.

Leah muffled a gasp, she was coming back after debating with herself; she had realized that the reason she had snapped was because she didn´t wanted to explain everything again, not what happened in the Tower, nor what happened in the Mansion the following days. She couldn´t help to feel her feelings and memories stirred again. She had grew comfortable around Loki and Clint, they already knew everything and they didn´t made her explain anything more than once, and because they knew everything that had happened they knew exactly what topics to avoid. She noticed they hadn´t heard or seen her and quickly hided inside one of the many rooms in the corridor, she was close enough to listen.

“So I take Fury didn´t go away as peacefully as you just told us.” Clint told him plainly.

“No, he didn´t.” Tony confessed. “He did took Doom which kind of surprised me with his diplomatic immunity and all, but not before biting Steve´s head off for letting the two of you leave. As he walked away he told us that it was far from over. The next day we found out what he had meant; he had issued a warrant against Leah.”

“Don´t tell me he charged her for stabbing Doom.” Loki grumbled visibly irritated.

“No, he drop it. He probably knew he wouldn´t be able to make a case against her based on that. Sadly Leah gave him a better excuse when she raised her bow against him; the charge is assault on a federal officer with a deadly weapon.”

“Fuck!” Leah reprimanded herself mentally, why did she had to do that?

“He´s just making up things, what the hell does he wants from her?” Loki was already pacing up and down the corridor crossed.

“I don´t know, but he left you a message.” Tony informed him.

“What message? Now, don´t tell me he issued a warrant against me for aiding a criminal” Loki snorted.

“No, he didn´t; surprisingly he has agreed to accept you as an active member of the Avengers. In his own words he told us. –Tell Loki my door is always open in case he wants to talk.-“

“That manipulative son of a bitch!” Loki spat enraged. “He knows I can´t let him arrest Leah”.

“I´m afraid he is counting on that. I know you won´t listen to me, but just drop it Loki. It sounds like a trap.” Tony volunteered.

“He´s right.” Clint agreed. “Capturing you is the perfect way to draw Leah out.”

“She won´t hesitate to deliver herself to SHIELD in exchange for you and Eerika walking free.” Tony told him with a stern look. “She didn´t even blinked when she mad eteh same offer to Doom.”

“She did what?” Both Clintg and Loki asked surprised.

“She didn´t told you that …” Tony said feeling uncomfortable, Leah would be furious at him for telling them.

“For God´s sake Tony, just spit it.” Clint raised his voice vexed by his revelation.

“He offered freeing Loki in exchange of her and Eerika going with him willingly.”

“We know that part.” Loki told him anxiously.

“But what apparently you don´t know is that she agreed to do so if he excluded Eerika from the deal.” Tony raised his gaze wary of Loki´s reaction; he looked shocked, he couldn´t help to imagine what could´ve happened if Doom had agreed.

“No, she couldn´t had said that.” Loki nodded negatively in disbelief. He knew she loved them, but to be willing to sacrifice herself like that … he had never imagined she would reach that far to keep them safe. And as a reward she now had a warrant issued against her.

“She did Loki. I don’t think I fully understood how much she loves both of you until I saw her doing it.” Tony confessed.

“I want to see that tape.” Loki told him with a stern look.

“I really don’t think you should.” Tony advised him.

“He´s right Loki, it serves no purpose. Besides think about Leah, she already have had a hard time telling us what happened; imagine how she would feel if you saw the tape.”

Meanwhile in the next room Leah was sitting crouched against the wall, her hands were over her head. Why did Tony had to tell them that? She had yielded even before the fight had started. If Doom had agreed everything would´ve turned very different.

“I´m so death” She mentally told herself, she was sure Loki would definitely have something to say about it and he would be right; she really didn´t had time to think her offer through. What indeed could´ve happened if Doom had agreed? He would´ve had his way with her, that for sure. But they would´ve been able to rescue her before she got pregnant again, wouldn´t they? What if they rescued her too late? What could´ve happened? She would never agree to lose the child, no matter what he or she would still be hers, what would that make Loki feel? Would he accepted the child? “No Leah stop; you are giving yourself a headache” She sighed; why did they kept feeling they had to hide everything from her? “Because they don´t believe you are all right” She answered herself. “Maybe I should prove them I can handle this. If I´m going to get hell for offering Doom such a deal I rather it be now and I can´t let Loki accept Fury´s deal either … I got to tell them” She stood unwilling fully, it didn’t mattered if she was prepared or not; she just had to do it before she lost her nerve.

She walked in just as Tony was telling Loki “You can´t tell her, she will kill me if she knows I told you.”

”No, I won´t kill you but I wished you all stopped treating me like I´m going to break. I´m not as messed up as you think.” She dryly told them, she felt as if she was walking into her own execution.

“We are not …” Tony began to reply when Leah interrupted him.

“Yes you are. I understand why but you all need to stop, how can I get my confidence back when you don´t trust me?” She reproached them.

Suddenly Loki asked. “Leah, why you did it?”

“Offered myself to Doom?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Because it was the best alternative I had to make sure we all walked alive from it. Doom wouldn´t kill me, at least not while I was useful to his plans. On the other side you wouldn´t had stand a chance if he got you to Latveria; sooner or later he would´ve killed you.”

“What if he had accepted? Did you even thought of that?” He reproached her.

“Eerika would probably got a half-brother or sister.” She replied without looking him in the eyes.

“That´s not funny.” Loki scolded her.

“And I´m not laughing.” She replied as he looked up at him with a stern look in her eyes. “That´s the worst case scenario I can think of … nevertheless it wouldn´t matter if that meant both of you were safe.” She looked down again, Loki probably wasn´t done scolding her; she was desperately trying to steady herself for it when out of nothing he embraced her tight, she hadn´t expected that and stayed still as he pleaded. “Don’t do anything like that ever again.”

“I can´t promise you that.” She told him remaining still.

Loki broke up his embrace to look into her eyes, there was a sense of sadness in them but there was also determination. He sighed, he would do the same if he were able to save them even at the cost of his own life. “Then you understand why I need to talk to Fury.”

“Please don´t.” She raised her head instantly. “We already knew SHIELD was after me, that they have a warrant doesn´t change anything. Whatever Fury wants is more dangerous than SHIELD itself.”

“What do you mean?” Clint asked her, did she had an insight on what Fury wanted?

Leah bit her lips, she felt like a trapped animal, finally she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “If they had a recording form he stabbing Doom it can only mean they were watching the whole time … they seemed willing to let my die just to prove something. Whatever they wanted to measure me against is far more powerful than Doom. You can´t go Loki, I´d rather live within the walls of the mansion for the rest of my life.

“This house is meant to be a refuge, not a prison.” Loki told her “You will go crazy if you are forced to stay here.”

“Then patch things with Odin and take us to Asgard.” Leah told him with decision.

The three of them were shocked to hear her suggestion.

“But Leah, you hate the idea of going to Asgard.” Clint spat.

“I hate the idea of losing my family even more.” Leah answered.

“But you escaped being four months pregnant and with no money because you thought we would send you there.” Tony interjected.

“I know what I did Tony, it doesn´t change what need to be done now.” She told him.

Loki hold her by her shoulders and told her. “Leah, you begged me not to let them take you to Asgard, why would you change your mind now?”

“Because you need me to.” Leah answered with sincerity, even if she still hated the idea it would be safer than going to SHIELD. “If you could convince Odin I would go.”

“It´s not that easy.” Loki replied.

“I know it’s not, but maybe if Thor talked to your mother, maybe … maybe they could convince him, and if they can’t this house will be enough. We can come up with a believable explanation about why I don´t leave the house when Eerika starts school. Or maybe Tony can invent a camouflage device, you don´t need to go to Fury on my account.” She pleaded.

Loki looked at her still bemused by her suggestion; she kept offering herself in exchange for them, he just couldn´t allow her to do that anymore. But he knew that if he refused her plea that instant she would find the way to surrender to SHIELD herself. “I can´t promise you anything, but I´ll think about it.” It was the best he could offer her without lying.

“We can´t keep meeting like this Leah. It isn´t fair for any of us, especially for you.” The man sitting beside her in the sand told her while looking at the vast sea in front of them.

“Why not Martin?” Leah asked him back.

“Because you are alive and I´m not. You have to stop clinging to the past. It only hurts you.” Martin answered without looking at her.

“Maybe I like the pain.” Leah told him with defiance.

“No, you don´t.” Martin´s brown eyes turned to face hers. “And you know it.”

“I hate it when you act like a know-all.” Leah pouted visibly upset.

“Because you know I am right.” Martin told her with a smirk.

“You´re so annoying! You always were especially in elementary school.” Leah pouted again frowning.

“I loved your braids.” Martin suddenly told her.

“You loved to pull them.” Leah complained.

“How else was I supposed to get your attention?” Martin asked her with a smile.

“By being polite.” Leah snapped at him.

Nah, you wouldn´t have noticed me. You always had a mischievous streak on you. And I think that is the reason he noticed you.” Martin volunteered.

“Please tell me you´re not thinking about giving me love advices now.” She looked at him disapprovingly.

“He is a good man, you know?” Martin told her while he leaned back to contemplate the sky.

“I doubt he will agree with you.” Leah pointed out.

“He is, it doesn´t matter if he knows it or not. And he loves you.” Martin turned his gaze back to her as he said his last sentence.

“And I love him, but I love you too.” Leah answered sadly as she rested her chin on her folded knees.

“Death do us apart my love.” Martin hugged her as he continued. “For a moment there I was afraid you would join us.”

“Afraid? Why not happy?” Leah inquired puzzled by his words.

“I thought you would know the answer to that already.” Martin calmly told her.

“Maybe I need to hear it from you.” Leah suggested.

“Because you were given a second opportunity, to love, to a family, to all the things we couldn´t have…” He was interrupted by Leah nervous laugh.

“I´m sorry” She quickly apologized. “A second chance in a world I don´t fit in, they are superheroes for crying out loud. And I am, I was a housewife; how long can I pretend to fit in their world until something goes terribly wrong?” Her voice broke, something had already gone terribly wrong.

Martin looked at her with compassion. “Leah, this isn´t you, it´s the fear talking.”

“Why shouldn´t I be afraid? Doom killed me and if he had the time he would´ve raped me first; he would´ve taken Eerika if it wasn´t for Loki. Furthermore SHIELD is after me I don´t know why. I know Loki and the others will try to keep me safe, but at what cost? What if the next one to die is Loki? I would fall apart and I can´t afford to, who would look after Eerika then? Why didn´t I just died with you in the accident?” She broke down.

Martin tried to comfort her hugging her tighter. “You can´t keep doing this to yourself. I don´t know why you survived the crash but there must be a reason, you just have to be brave enough to find it. And I know you, you can be that brave.” He grabbed Leah by her shoulders so he could look into her eyes. “The Leah I know wouldn´t give up, you are too stubborn to give up. So what if you never are as strong or powerful or well-trained as they are, no one has asked you to be a super-hero, just be yourself.”

“What if I’m not good enough?” Leah asked between sniffling’s.

“Good enough for what Leah? For being a mother? A loving companion? You were the best friend, lover and wife I could ever asked for, you are more than enough. You will be a wonderful mother too if you give yourself a chance.”

“Maybe for you … but for him … I don´t know. I crashed into his life, what if I´m just an accident?” She said anguished.

“Ask him.” Martin suggested. “If you are that afraid ask him.”

“I don´t want to.” Leah told him while looking down when suddenly a strong pull on her hair made her turned angered at Martin. “Ow, stop that.”

“That´s more like it.” Martin told her with a smirk. “That’s you, the feisty girl who doesn’t take crap off nobody. “

“It´s not that easy” Leah pouted still angry.

“Why not? Because they have superpowers? You do too silly girl, and you had just given birth when you were invaded, I doubt anyone else could´ve done what you did. I keep telling you, you were given a second chance, please don´t waste it. I want you to be happy, stop getting in your way.”

“I … I don´t want to forget about you or … Richard.” She confessed while tears threatened to pour out again.

“Loki and Eerika aren´t replacements Leah, you have room in your heart for all of us. But you need to concentrate on them now, they need you whole.” His voice conveyed the urgency of the matter.

“I don´t feel whole.” Leah admitted as she leaned into Martin.

“You need to get your confidence back, don´t you remember what you used to tell me when I was down? Everything happens for a reason but you´ll never find what that reason is if …”

“If you don´t get off your butt” Leah completed his sentence while laughing at the memory. “I sincerely don´t know how you put out with me sometimes.”

“Because you were worth it.” Martin answered with a big grin. “Now, off your butt. Don´t let Doom break you, don´t let him or anyone else stand in your way.”

“How do I do that? Forget. ” Leah asked him anxiously, she feared oblivion as a beast that would consume all.

“You don´t forget love, you move on by letting go.” Martin volunteered.

“Letting go what?” Leah asked puzzled.

“Everything that hurts you.” Martin moved to face her. “You´ve grown yourself accustomed to clinging to the past even if it only brings you pain you cling to it with desperation, you need to stop.”

“How?” Leah wasn´t even sure she could, he was right. Some day’s pain was the only thing that remind her she was still alive.

“By living in the present, not the past, not some distant future, by clinging instead to the second in hand. Life is wonderful and mysterious and it can end in any second, stop wasting it.” He told her with passion.

“By letting you go.” Leah acknowledged at the brim of tears.

“And Richard” Martin added, “And Doom.”

“I don´t know if I can do that.” Leah confessed.

“I know you can, that´s why I came to you, to remind you.” Martin volunteered. “And to say goodbye.”

“But I don’t want to let you go.” Leah said anguished.

“I´m afraid I´m not giving you a choice hunny bunny.” Martin´s eyes reflected all the love he felt for her.

“I won´t see you again?” Leah asked devastated.

“No, unless you need me to pull some sense into your braids.” Martin joked.

“Smart ass.” Leah pretend to pout offended.

“Crazy girl.” Martin called her affectively.

“So, this is goodbye?” Leah inquired nervously “Forever?”

“Forever sounds so definitive. Until we meet again?” He suggested.

“I like how that sounds” She agreed while nodding affirmatively.

“Don´t be in a hurry, savor every moment. We both know life is fragile, embrace it. Stop waiting, make things happen.” Martin told her with a smile as he stood up facing the sea. “He´s been waiting all his life for someone like you, don´t keep him waiting any longer.”

“I feel like I don´t know him, not like I knew you.” Leah confessed while getting up.

“Then get to know him, we knew each other most of our lives, and you have a lifetime to know him.” Martin volunteered. “Take care of them and yourself, don´t let me down. He looked up at the distance, a small boy walked to them. Leah´s heart skipped a beat when she saw him, she just knew. “Richard!” She ran to meet him.

“Hi mummy! Don´t be sad. I´m all right, daddy is with me.” He told her as Leah sobbed uncontrollably while embracing him.

“I´m sorry love, I´ll try not to cry.” Leah sniffled.

“That´s better” Richard smiled warmly at her. “My sister wouldn´t like you to be sad either.” His eyes were blue like hers.

“No, she wouldn´t.” Leah acknowledged drying her tears and smiling him back.

“Don´t stop smiling mummy, you look beautiful.” He told her happily “I love you”

“I´ll do my best.” Leah nodded affirmatively.

“Daddy!” Richard ran to Martin who carried him up, they were both laughing, they looked radiant.

“They will be all right” Leah thought to herself.

“And you will be too.” Martin told her reading her thoughts.

“How can you be so sure?” Leah asked him.

“Because I know you better than you think you crazy girl, you just need someone to pull your braids once in a while to remind you.” Martin joked.

“Don´t you dare!!”Leah warned him.

“That´s not my job anymore love” Richard warmly answered her as he winked an eye. “Until we meet again.”

“Until we meet again.” Leah answered with a sad smile as she hugged and kissed them one last time. She stood in the sand as she watched them walk to the sunrise, they suddenly faded into the light.

Leah woke up suddenly sitting up, their names frozen in her mouth, tears running free as she whispered. “Until we meet again.”

Her sudden movement had awoken Loki who sat up looking at her worryingly “Leah, what´s wrong? Did you had a nightmare?”

“No.” Leah nodded her head negatively while drying her tears with the palm of her hands. “Loki, do you believe in ghosts?”

“Mm, I´m not sure. I think so.” He told her trying to figure out why she would ask him such a thing.

“I had a dream with Martin and Richard, they came to say goodbye.” She turned to embrace him.

“Goodbye?” He asked in an inquisitive tone.

“Martin said I should stop clinging to the past.” Leah told him remembering the conversation.

“He sounds like a wise man.” Loki agreed.

“He also told me you are a good man.” Leah added.

“A little naïve maybe.” Loki suggested.

Leah laughed “I told him you would disagree.”

Loki smiled at her, then laid back to bed while embracing her to his chest. “And what did he said?”

“That you are a good man whether you know it or not.” Leah volunteered.

“So, that means he´s giving us his blessing?” Loki asked her jokingly

“I think so.” Leah acknowledged.

“I think it´s a little too late for that.” Loki told her with a smirk.

Suddenly Leah´s expression turned to a somber on as she raised to look back at Loki. “Loki, you don´t need to tell me what happened when Doom shot me.”

“I thought you wanted to know.” Loki told her confused by her change of mind.

“I don´t need to. I already know how it feels like when you lose someone you love.” She told him apologetically.

“She does” Loki reasoned. “And she didn´t had the luck of getting them back.” He answered in the same apologetic tone “I´m sorry Leah, I shouldn´t had said that. I just was so angry….”

Leah placed her finger in his mouth cautioning silence. “Don´t apologize, I deserved it for being a selfish child.”

“You are not selfish.” Loki complained.

“But I was.” Leah confessed. “Will you listen to me? I need to tell you so many things. Please don´t say anything until I´m finish, I may not find the courage to tell you again.” She pleaded while looking to his eyes.

“All right, I´ll listen”. Loki agreed, Leah let out a relief sigh as she lay her head in his chest, she suddenly felt cold; she snuggled against him trying to get herself warm.

“Ever since the accident I felt like a big abnormality, a fluke, I´ve never understood why I was the only survivor, and how of all places I could’ve wander off I walked right in the middle of your fight with Thor, why of all days you choose that day to remember your brotherly love for Thor, how without any idea of what I was doing I managed to find you afterwards or why you decided to visit me when I hadn´t stopped thinking about the family I lost. I wasn´t ready to find love again when whatever that was that happened between us started, I would never had imagine or even dream of it happening in real life. I still can´t understand why you stayed when … if I were you I wouldn´t. Afterwards everything happened so fast I didn’t had time to figure out what you meant for me, or maybe I was afraid to accept it but when I finally did all I felt was your lose; even when we were just a few centimeters from each other in the Tower. And then Doom happened, I thought I would be able to defend myself and Eerika against him now that I had super soldier abilities but I was wrong, even with the training I wasn´t an opponent for him.” She could hear Loki softly grunting. “I know it wasn´t a real training, my pregnancy forbid it but I thought I was at least becoming someone worthy of walking between super-heroes and gods. I just … I really can´t understand how we got here, what if I´m just an accident in your life? I know you love me, but; what does that really means? What am I to you? What does this all means for Eerika? I’m not talking about foolish dreams of princesses and happy endings, I don´t want you to worry about me all the time. I just want to know how do I fit in here, I don´t want to be just an accident.” She sighed with relief, as if by saying all her fears out loud she had lifted a huge weight from her chest.

Loki looked at her with understanding, he had asked himself many of her questions before. “You are right, we have never really talked about what we have between us is. You are definitely much more than a lover, but I would feel weird calling you my girlfriend because that description doesn´t even cover what I feel for you; but I´m not sure either of us are ready for a more permanent title. At this point all that I know is that you and me were meant to be; when I first visited you I really never meant for things to go the way they did, but something just made me come back to you time after time. I think you are my Urdr, my destiny not an accident, not a fluke; but what else the Norns have carved in Yggdrasil I don´t know. I just know I feel blessed that our paths crossed even with all the difficulties and heartache we have had to overcome.

I don´t know if it helps you find any meaning to all that has happened, all that I can tell you is that I love you, more than I´ve ever loved someone and I can´t picture my life without you or Eerika anymore. I just need you in my life, you gave me hope back.

Leah could feel her heart racing, if everything that had happened to both of them had lead them to that very instant maybe … maybe it had been worth it. She felt Loki´s words melting away all her doubts and fears leaving only her undeniable love for him.

“I´ve been so foolish” She scolded herself; she had a new chance at love, at happiness and she had been so close to ruining it. Loki was there with her, he loved her and needed her just as much as she needed him.

“You´re not foolish” Loki corrected her.

“But I was and I want to make it up to you.” Leah offered while she straddled over Loki in one swift move, her lips locked on his as she leaned forward rubbing herself against him. She had caught Loki completely by surprise, he moaned into her mouth as the arousing sensation travelled up his spine. Suddenly he rolled over pinning her down. “Wait Leah, you don´t have to do this …” He was worried she was doing out of just a wish to make things right between them instead of … Leah´s own moan interrupted his thoughts, his warm body over hers had been enough to entice her senses, Loki looked at her, he knew that look, she was ready “… unless you want to.” He ended still debating with himself.

Leah pulled him down for a fervent kiss that extracted another moan from Loki. “I want to.” She said in a murmur before rolling down to pin him down again. She was still wearing her jeans and jersey, Loki hadn’t wanted to risk waking her up so he let her sleep on her clothes, but he had changed into a long sleeves and pants pajama. Leah bit her lower lip mischievously, she would take advantage of that. Without further preamble she ducked under the covers and quickly pulled Loki´s pants and briefs down releasing his erecting member.

Loki had barely recovered from her kiss when he started to ask “What are … oh my!” He writhed in ecstasy, she had lead his penis into her mouth and had already started to move her hand up and down slowly and rhythmically.

She was bent on pleasuring him, taking her time to explore his every reaction to her flicking his foreskin with her tongue. It had been over a month since they had sex, but she had been pregnant then.

Loki panted with each motion, he had started trusting into her mouth; her tongue playfully teased him with tickling sensations that drove him even closer to his climax. “Faster!” he pleaded, he was so close. Leah was only too happy to comply, his shameless pants and moans drove her more excited than she already felt. With a loud moan Loki cum into her mouth, she had eagerly been waiting for this, she swallowed his seed greedily; it tasted like him. She didn´t wanted to be anywhere else that at his side ever again; as his erection faded she came out from under the covers to find a still flustered Loki trying to catch his breath. She might not noticed but he had, having the abilities of a super soldier certainly had its advantages he thought. She was stronger and faster. Sex would be a whole new experience from now on, and he welcomed the thought gladly.

“So, am I forgiven?” She jokingly asked him.

“I´m thinking about it.” Loki answered her with a big grin.

“Oh! So you want to play like that?” Leah scolded him jokingly while reaching for his manhood under the covers.

“No, wait …I forgive you! I forgive you!” Loki volunteered quickly, he still wasn´t ready for round number two.

“I thought you would” Leah teased him with a gentle squeeze before letting go.

“What came over you?” Loki asked her surprised, not that he was against it, but her change seem too sudden.

“I told you, Martin and I had a talk.” Leah explained while resting her head on his chest, she found the sound of his heart so comforting. “He told me to seize the moment or he would pull my braids to remind me.”

“Pull your braids?” Loki asked intrigued.

“He used to do that when we were kids, I used to think he did it because he didn´t liked me, it turned out to be quite the opposite. It kind of became our private joke over the years.” She smiled at the memories, somehow they didn´t hurt as much, he was right.

“To remind you what?” Loki asked her.

“That I´m alive” She turned to face him, she didn´t looked sad as she normally did on those rare occasions she talked about her deceased husband or child.

“I think I would´ve liked him.” Loki told her full-heartedly.

“I think you would.” Leah acknowledged while kissing him.

Suddenly Loki rolled her pinning her down to the bed; he stuffed his hand under her jeans reaching for her pubic area, she was already wet. “Seems someone need a bit of attention.” He purred into her ear as he slid a finger inside her.

“Ungh!” She moaned, he was right.

“But first let´s get you out of this clothes.” He added as he pulled his hand form under her jeans and started to unbutton them; in less than a minute they were both naked.

A couple of hours afterwards the sound of running water filled their room, they finally had managed to get to the shower, while Leah rinsed her long hair Loki watched her attentively. This time they were together for real, not only at night on her so called dreams, not separated by his prison glass, this was a new experience all together. It might have good days, it might have bad ones, but as long as they both remembered what was important he had the feeling they would be all right. He walked over to Leah startling her, he embraced her strongly while pushing his naked body against hers.

“Again?!” Leah asked surprised, his member was hard once more.

“It´s your fault, you started it.” He teased her while gently squeezing her breasts “I only intent on finishing it.” With that he bent Leah over exposing her entrance to him, he fondled her gently looking for her clitoris. Leah moaned responding to his touch, he had to steady herself by placing her hands against the wall she had in front of her. Loki skillfully twirled his fingers deeper as he searched for her g-spot, Leah´s knees buckled when he did. “Oh go!” She exclaimed, she wasn´t sure she could keep that pace for long, but she didn’t mind finding out.

Suddenly fingers were replaced by his strong member slowly burring itself deeper into her, she moaned in wanton, she couldn´t have enough of him either.

“Get down on your knees.” Loki whispered lustfully in her ear before nibbling on her lobe.

“No, I´ll fall.” Leah complained, they were still under the running water and she felt too aroused for him to pull out.

The playful stinging swat that stoke her bottom cheek caught her by surprise, Loki didn´t wanted to pull out either, but the position was too uncomfortable due to her shorter height. “Do as I say or I might just have to spank you, you naughty girl!” He seductively menaced her.

Leah gasped, on one side she wasn´t sure if she wanted to play that game, on the other side it sounded terribly enticing. A second swat on the same place snapped her out of her thoughts. “Ow!” She complained, she could feel it smarting.

“So?” Loki asked her noticing her indecision. “Do you need more convincing?”

“No! Wait.” The sensation of his cock inside of her along with the sting on her butt combined were sending all sorts of new sensations … maybe on another occasion; she would hate to have to explain to Clint why she winced while sitting down. “I´ll kneel.” She offered nervously while slowly bending her knees to get down, Loki helped her avoiding her to fall as he got down with her. As soon as they had reached the floor he moved into a more comfortable position holding onto her hips as he slowly pounded into her periodically teasing her with pulling out only to push himself deeper, within minutes Leah was moaning loudly as she came, she could feel her fluids rolling down her inner tights and her arms quivering. Loki wasn´t done yet and held her tights hard as he kept trusting vigorously into her until they both came again.

After they had finished bathing while dressing up Leah peeked at her bottom through the mirror, it had no mark on it as she thought it would. “Would you really had spanked me?” She asked Loki with curiosity.

“Only if you wanted me to.” Loki winked an eye at her.

“Oh!” Leah exclaimed blushing.

“Do you want me to?” Loki asked her with mischief written all over his face.

“No!” Leah quickly responded while protectively placing her hands over her buttocks.

“As you wish” He jokingly teased her as he grabbed her through her waist before gently kissing her. “I would never hurt you” He confessed. “I love you too much.”

Leah smiled back at him s she placed her arms around his neck returning his kiss. “I love you too.”

When they joined Clint for lunch later that day they both nearly choked on their food when he innocently asked them “So, you made up, right?”

After a while Leah started to feel sleepy, resting her head on Loki´s lap made her feel safe, she had no idea how much she had craved that sort of peace. She drowsily told Loki again. “I´m sorry I said you would be better off without me.”

Loki turned his gaze to her and sighed. “I know you are, but it won´t just magically disappear because you say you are.”

Leah asked him. “How do I fix it then?” She wished she could just take it back.

“I don´t know” Loki confessed.

“Tell me what happened” Leah requested with a serious look.

“I thought you said you remember now. “ Loki answered confused.

“Not everything” Leah told him. “I don´t know what happened when I died.”

“Why would you want to know that? “ Loki asked her with a frown on his face.

“To understand.” Leah volunteered with a yawn.

“I think you are too tired now.” Loki told her.

“I´m not that tired.” Leah snapped at him as she swiftly sat up, she closed her eyes while rubbing the back of her head; she scolded herself mentally for moving too fast.

Loki looked at her concerned. “Are you all right?”

“Just give me a couple of aspirins and I´ll be fine by the morning.” Leah joked while still rubbing her nape.

Loki looked at her the blow to her head when she fainted was obvious; but he hadn´t noticed the bruises on her knuckles before. Suddenly Leah interrupted his thoughts.

“So, are you going to tell me? I can finish telling you the rest of my story first if you want.” Leah offered.

“I really think we should wait until tomorrow.” Loki volunteered.

“I don´t want to wait.” Leah whined, she just wanted to get it over with, sleeping could wait.

Loki sighed disapprovingly. “All right, suit yourself.”

Leah quickly referred the rest of her story to Loki, she still hadn´t noticed she nursed her injuries as her story passed by.

“And then you arrived; you know everything now.” She told him with a yawn.

“You need to sleep.” Loki advised her.

“But I don´t want to.” Leah complained while snuggling against Loki, her energy was totally spent.

Loki stroked her head softly. “We can finish this in the morning, now rest.” He had barely spoken the words when he noticed Leah had fallen asleep, he let out a soft chuckle before carrying Leah in his arms. As he walked back to their room he found himself in deep though, he had to talk to Clint.

As soon as he had tuck Leah in their bed he searched for Clint finding him in the kitchen cooking dinner.

“You didn´t told me everything that happened.” Loki told him while leaning in the door frame.

“What?” Clint asked startled by Loki´s presence.

“You slapped Leah” Loki asseverated crossing his arms.

“Oh! About that …she told you?” Clint asked surprised.

“Only because she thought you had already told me.” Loki asserted.

Clint shrugged his shoulders. “It just …happened. I got angry, would you done it differently?”

“I don´t know” Loki acknowledged with a sigh. “I was so angry at her when she finally told me we got into a huge argument.” Loki explained Clint everything that had happened.

“At least she remembers now.” Clint volunteered.

“But I´m still worried.” Loki admitted. “Do you think she’ll try to do something?”

Clint frowned while twisting his mouth. If you are asking me if I think she´ll purposely hurt herself the answer is no; however … did you noticed the bruises on her knuckles?”

“Yes.” Loki answered with a scowl.

“She really didn´t do it on purpose, she was just venting her anger at the punching bag … that´s the kind of thing I´m worried about. She might be more than a little reckless for a while, we definitely need to keep an eye on her.” Clint suggested.

Loki kept his frown, it still bothered him she could just dismiss herself so easily. His emotions were clear enough for Clint to read. “You need to forgive her Loki, it was her pain doing the talking. She didn’t really thought it through.”

As Loki remained silent Clint said. “Something else is bothering you.”

“She said yesterday” Loki finally confessed.

“She´s just confused it will become clearer with time.” Clint reassured him.

“And Fury” Loki ended.

“Yes, I´ve been thinking about him too.” Clint confessed.

“I used to think he was using her to get to me, but I´m not so sure now,” Loki volunteered.

“I thought that too, now I have the feeling he wants her for a very particular mission or purpose.” Clint acknowledged.

“I hate being in the dark” Loki snapped.

“I´m afraid we don´t have a choice for now, I could try getting in touch with the team but I don´t feel comfortable leaving you alone with Leah and Eerika; at least not yet.” Clint told him.

“This is just a big mess.” Loki complained while sitting at the dinner table as he leaned his head into his hands with an utter sense of defeat.

“That’s life pal, it never comes easily especially when it comes to family.” Clint sympathetically told him while serving himself a cup of coffee before sitting in front of Loki.

Loki raised his head. “Clint, I´ve been meaning to ask you … “He hesitated for a second. “Do you have children?”

Clint laughed a bit before taking a sip of his coffee. “Yes, two and a beautiful wife.” He proudly told him. “I thought you would never ask.”

“How do you even make it work?” Loki asked.

“It´s not easy” He volunteered. “I try to be with them as much as I can. But keeping them off the radar just makes in more difficult.”

“I don´t know if I´ll ever be able to make this work.” Loki told him with sincerity.

“You will, don´t worry. Just take it one step at the time and you´ll figure it out eventually.” Clint reassured him.

“That´s how you do it?” Loki asked him.

“That and listening to my wife.” Clint said with a smirk. “You´ll do just fine stop worrying.”

“How do you know?” Loki asked again, he didn´t felt that confident at all.

“Because I see how you look at them; you love them. You would do anything for them. You just have to do your best and hope it´s enough. No matter how bad things get if you can remember why you´re doing it at the end of the day you´ll be fine. “Clint volunteered.

“I hope you are right.” Loki admitted.

“I know I am” Clint reassured him. “Now back to business, if you took me out to find out what happened I don´t see how to report back to you safely without unknowingly leading you into a trap.”

“I hoped to set up an untraceable communication center in the house but I ran out of time.” Loki confessed still annoyed he had though at the last time they could do without.

“Wait a second! “ Clint exclaimed. “Do you still have Leah’s belongings from the time she tried to escape? “

“Mm, yes. I think so.” Loki answered intrigued.

“Tony had made her an untraceable cell phone and since you sent her empty handed I´m assuming it might still be among her stuff.” Clint suggested.

“Why don´t we just snatch Tony out of the Tower?” Loki asked him, he could set up the untraceable communication center in maybe a couple of hours.

“What if you run into SHIELD there?” Clint asked him in response.

“I won’t.” Loki asseverated. “I gave you the short tour when I brought you here, but I can stay in the paths of Yggdrasil for a good fifteen minutes, that should be enough time to locate Tony and bring him here.”

“That´s how you delivered her roses.” Clint smiled with understanding.

“Exactly.” Loki asseverated.

“It sound like a plan, but I still think we should wait until Leah´s better.” Clint suggested.

“Why?” Loki asked in earnest.

“Because if something goes wrong we need her in her best shape.” Clint asseverated.

When Leah woke up she found Loki staring attentively at her. “Hi!! He cheerfully greeted her.

“Um …hi?” Leah answered feeling a bit awkward.

“How are you feeling?” Loki asked her

“Spent” Leah confessed, even if she had slept a couple of hours she really didn´t felt rested.

“I guess I would feel that way too if I´d cried that much.” Loki reasoned.

“Oh, god!” Suddenly she remembered and covered her face ashamed. “Don´t look at me, my eyes must be all red and puffy.”

“Yes, just like your nose” Loki replied, as soon as he had so Leah snatched the pillow from beneath her and used it to hide her face. “Oh! Come on! It´s not like I hadn´t seen you like this before. As a matter of fact I´ve seen you worse.”

Leah loudly complained with a whining sound as she turned around hiding her face in the bed while still holding the pillow over her nape. She knew exactly what he meant, the first time he visited her she was heavily drunk and it wasn´t the only time he saw her like that. “I´m such a mess!” she exclaimed embarrassed at the memories.

Loki made his best effort not to burst laughing, when had she become so self-conscious? Maybe she never cared before because she thought he was a dream. With a big grin he approached her and in a swift move pulled her out of the pillow and into his arms. “That may be true, but you are My Mess” Without further words he kissed her. Leah gasped surprised at first, she blinked her eyes a few times before the depth of his kiss swooned her; as she closed her eyes and surrender he suddenly broke contact leaving her feeling dazed.

“I cooked something for you” He proudly volunteered as he retrieved a tray from the night stand on his side of the bed. “I didn´t knew what you might have a craving for so I made you some waffles, eggs and bacon, chicken with fires and of course strawberries.”

Leah looked at the tray amazed “Wow, you really cooked allthat?”

“Of course I did, why you look so surprised? What did you thought that I magically appeared all my meals.” Loki inquired.

“Well … to say the truth, yes. That´s what I thought.” Leah confessed while scratching the back of her head nervously.

“That would be a waste of my magic, why would I use my magic on that when I´m perfectly capable of cooking for myself” Loki explained her a bit offended by her answer.

“I´m sorry. I didn´t knew. I just … never mind.” As she tasted her first bite she was pleasantly surprised. “Mm, this is really good” She quickly complimented him before taking another bite, she didn’t know just how hungry she was until she started eating. “You are full of surprises” She added as she stuffed her mouth with a strawberry. “I´m starting to feel like I really don´t know you.” She confessed before taking another bite.

“Well, we can get reacquainted if you want.” Loki shamelessly pureed in a flirting tone making Leah choke on her food.

As she coughed trying to get her breath back Loki quickly told her. “I was only kidding, are you all right?”

Leah nodded her head affirmatively while she took a sip of her orange juice still coughing.

“I promise I´ll wait until you feel ready, all right?” He volunteered.

“Ok” Leah answered still trying not to cough; he had caught her completely off guard.

“Clint told you?” Leah asked as soon as her cough subsided. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Loki knowing.

“Yes, he told me everything. I wished you had told me … I didn’t knew what to think about your behavior, if I had … “Loki was telling Leah when she suddenly interrupted him.

“I didn´t wanted you to know, I wished I had forget about it. I can´t understand why of all things that I can remember. “Leah wryly admitted.

“I wish I could give you an answer to that” Loki acknowledged

“But you can´t” Leah told him.

“No, and I can´t undo what Doom did to you either. But I want you to know that you don´t need to feel ashamed, you did nothing wrong. It was not your fault.” Loki volunteered while looking into her eyes.

“I don´t know.” Leah confessed.

“Well, I do” Loki confirmed. “You don´t have to hide this sort of things from me. You can talk to me about anything, don’t you know? Can we agree on not hiding things from each other? No more secrets?” Loki inquired while holding her hand.

“I … I´d like that.” Leah agreed nodding her head before looking into Loki´s eyes as she told him. “ I don´t know what I would do if I didn´t had you to help me get through this.”

Loki warmly smiled at her as he answered. “Leah, you risked more than your life for us, don´t think I´ve forgotten about Doom´s menace. I know you saved my life right there. Do you really think I could leave you alone to deal with this?”

Leah blushed slightly, he was right. “No, I´m sorry. I don´t know what goes through my mind lately.” Suddenly she turned serious as he asked him.” Loki, Clint said Doom killed me, is …. is that true?”

Loki´s expression changed to a somber one.” I´m afraid he did.”

Leah looked at him, she couldn´t wrapped her head around it yet. “Will you tell me what happened?”

Loki sighed, that was a moment he wished he could forget; as he closed his eyes he nodded affirmatively. “I will, but I need to know too.”

“What happened after you left?” Leah bit nervously her lower lip while she considered her answer. “You´re not going to like it.”

“Neither will you.” Loki volunteered with sorrow on his eyes.

“It might be a very long talk, could we see Eerika first?” Leah asked him in hope, she might not have the strength or presence of mind to do it later.

“Of course.” Loki agreed; it would be hard on her and seeing Eerika might help. “Finish your food first.”

Leah looked at the tray; suddenly she didn’t felt that hungry any more, as she opened her mouth to say something Loki cautioned her. “Don’t you even think on telling me you´re not hungry.”

“But …” Leah pouted.

“No, you need to eat.” He warned her with a serious frown. When he noticed Leah´s worried reaction he softens his demand. “Please Leah, you haven´t eaten since the attack. I´m worried about you.”

“All right” Leah agreed with a defeatist sigh, she hated the idea of causing him any pain. “Only for you.”

After she had finished her food they walked over to the nursery where they were greeted by Clint. “Look pumpkin, its mummy!”

“Pumpkin?” Leah turned to Loki with a questioning look.

“Seems Clint is getting awfully fond of Eerika, he´s even come up with a pet name.” Loki answered shrugging his shoulders.

Leah raised her eyebrows surprised. “Ok” She smiled at the memories of the day her daughter was born when everyone was competing for Eerika´s attention; for such a group of tough men they certainly turned to pudding for a baby.

“She just woke up” Clint told her as he approached them and gently placed Eerika in Leah´s arms.

“Hi love” Leah´s eyes glistened; for an instant during her struggle with Doom she really came to thought she would never see her daughter ever again.

“Maybe we should give them a moment” Clint suggested Loki in a low tone.

Loki nodded approvingly as he told Leah “We’ll be tight outside should you need us.”

“I know, I shouldn´t be crying. You´re going to think that I cry all the time, but I’m so glad to see you” Leah told Eerika as soon as they were alone. “I´m sorry it took me so long.” Leah confessed while tears rolled down her face. As she leaned to look to her daughters face a tiny hand reached for her “I love you too.” She told her full-heartily as she leaned down even further so Eerika´s hand would touch her face. She smiled how she could even consider the possibility of leaving them it was now beyond her comprehension. “Daddy is right, you know. Mummy isn´t all right now. But I´ll get better … I promise, whatever it takes.” She meant it, there was no turning back no matter how hard things were for her she had two very powerful reasons to overcome it. She would have to make sure to never forget it again.

“How is she?” Clint asked Loki as soon as they were in the hallway.

“She seems better” Loki acknowledged. “She even agreed to tell me about her fight with Doom if I tell her about … what happen afterwards.”

“Do you think she’s up to that?” Clint asked him preoccupied.

“I´m not sure, I guess we´ll just have to find out.” Loki volunteered.

Clint sighed, it might be too fast for that, though they couldn´t hide it from her either. “You´re probably right. Just don´t give her too much details.”

“I wasn´t …” Loki started to tell him when Clint interrupted him again. “Keep it simple, don´t say anything about blood and stuff.”

Loki looked at Clint shocked, as he disrupted Clint’ ramble he express his annoyance to such idea. “I´d never tell her that. What in Helheim makes you think I would?” Suddenly he remembers Thor´s colorful battle recollections “On second thought, don´t answer that.”

After a bit more than half an hour Leah came out of the nursery, she had feed Eerika and lulled Eerika to sleep. Loki was alone waiting for her; Clint had gone to the kitchen to fix himself something to eat. As if it were an old habit he had taken the baby´s monitor with him.

“I´m ready” She told Loki with a stern look.

“All right.” Loki agreed “We can talk in the study.”

Leash followed Loki to the study, it was filled with glass cases and book cases; she admired them briefly before noticing Loki had led her to a small living room placed on the left corner in the room.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Loki asked her concerned.

“No, but I think I have to.” Leah wryly told him.

“If it becomes too intense for you we can stop whenever you want.” Loki offered her.

“Thank you. But I´d rather do this just once.” Leah volunteered.

“Do you want me to start first?” Loki asked her.

“No, I think I should go first” Leah replied; then she bit her lips nervously while she tried to figure out how to start. “I´m not sure how to start.” She finally confessed to Loki.

“I´m curious, what would you have done if Doom hadn´t agreed to let us go?” Loki asked her trying to help her get started.

“Probably killed him.” Leah said without flinching, she had asked herself that question before and no matter how many times she thought of it she couldn´t find another solution. The alternative was too horrible to even consider.

“Then I´m glad he did.” Loki admitted.

Leah wasn´t sure about that, even if deep down she really disliked the idea of taking a life she felt inclined to make an exception for Doom. She also wondered that if cornered into a position where her family welfare was in the line again would be so skittish about it, probably not.

Without acknowledging Loki´s comment she started her recollection. “When the elevator door closed I got distracted, Doom seized that opportunity to knock me off him. I had lost my knife and bow, I couldn´t fight with my injured arm and had no escape route. Doom knew it too; he cornered me at the edge of the rooftop and …” as Leah continued her recollection Loki noticed that unconsciously Leah nursed either her throat, shoulder or ribs as if remembering the details actually caused her pain.

“…when I refused he … slapped me, just as Clint did yesterday …” She told him without thinking.

Loki widened his eyes surprised; Clint hadn´t mentioned such an event. “Wait! Clint slapped you? Why?”

Leah realized her indiscretion a little too late and cursed herself mentally for mentioning it. “I … said something foolish” She answered trying to dismiss it and hoping against all hope Loki wouldn´t ask her anymore.”

“What did you say?” Loki asked her, he just couldn´t understand why Clint had decided to hide it from him.

“I´d rather not say” Leah told him pouting. “He was right, I shouldn´t have said it.”

“I thought we had agreed on no more secrets between us.” Loki admonished her with a stern look on his face. Leah down casted her gaze, why hadn´t she kept her mouth shut.

“All right, if you´re not going to tell me I´ll ask Clint” Loki spat at her as he raised from the couch.

“No, wait!” Leah grabbed his hand anguished. “I will tell you.”

Loki sat down again to hear her answer.

“I … I told him that maybe … you and Eerika … might be better off without me.” She finally confessed feeling ashamed.

Loki couldn´t believe she had just said that, he felt angry, after all they been through, he had never been so angry at her before. “Why did you say that? Were you planning to abandon us?”

“No, I … I don´t know why I said it.” Leah lied.

“I don´t believe you” Loki affirmed. “You know very well why you said it. Tell me, were you planning on leaving us?” He gripped her wrist as he forced her to look into his eyes.

“No, no, that´s not what I meant; Loki please!” Leah pleaded as her eyes gleam with unshed tears, she had never seen Loki that angry before.

“Then what did you meant?” Loki asked her raising his voice.

“You should´ve let me die!” Leah whined as her tears over flooded her eyes running down her cheeks.

Loki let go of her wrist shocked. “How do you even dare to say that you selfish girl?” He chided.

“I didn´t meant to, I was hurting … I’m sorry.” Leah tried to apologize.

“Sorry won´t cut it this time!” Loki scolded her. “You think you´re the only one hurting here? Do you want to know how I felt when you died? As if someone had ripped my heart right out of my chest … and you dare to say I should´ve let you die.” Loki was so angry he hadn´t even noticed he was crying.

Leah felt her heart break when she saw the pain reflected in Loki´s face, she had never meant to hurt him. She tried to take his hand remorsefully as she implored. “Loki? Please …”

Loki retrieved his hand from hers. “I can’t talk to you right now … just don’t”. He told her while he looked away from her.

Leah couldn´t take it anymore and ran out of the study crying, she knew it was her fault he was so angry, he was right she had never considered how hard it had been for him, she had been so self-involved lately she had failed to think about him. She just couldn´t face it, she had to get away, run. She kept running as fast as she could without a destination, she had to keep running until the pain she felt had become numb.

The sound of the door being opened when Leah bolted out of the study alerted Loki who suddenly turned his gaze to find himself alone. “Dammit!” He coursed out loud as he rose in a hurry to follow her. His anger had made him forget about Leah´s current unstable mental condition.

Even if Loki was faster than Thor, the adrenaline made Leah run even faster than Steve, Loki couldn´t caught up with her, he would have to follow Leah until she got tired or stop. “Leah! Leah, wait!” He called for her several times without an answer.

Suddenly Leah found herself in what it seemed to be a dead end; then she noticed a door on the end of the hallway, without even stopping she pushed the door open. As she walked through Leah stopped surprised only a couple of meters from the entrance, it was some kind of interior garden, although a small forest might be a more appropriate description; she contemplated surprised the flowers and butterflies that covered the field.

“How did he …?” –she asked herself while looking up to discern the source of the light. As the sun shined bright through the glasses of the huge greenhouse the reflection stroke Leah´s eyes triggering a violent series of flashbacks, memories twirled in her mind flooding her with missing moments, she felt nauseous and disoriented, her head felt as if it was going to burst , everything started spinning, suddenly she collapsed on the grass.

It only took Loki a couple of minutes to arrive to the garden, he stopped at the entrance trying to figure out where Leah could´ve gone when he noticed her. “Leah! Leah!” He called for her anxiously. He knelt by her side while he made sure she was still breathing, relieved he tried to awoke her again. “Leah! Come on! Wake up!” There was no response, he cradle her between his arms, remorseful tears running down his cheeks. “Remember in your letter when you told me you could raise our daughter by yourself if you had to, but you much rather have us doing it together? I feel exactly like that right now, I´ve been feeling like that since Doom shot you. I would take care of Eerika if you were gone, but I´d much rather have you with us. Even if you never remember what happened, even if you are a mess, even if you drive me crazy with your foolishness. I don´t know what I would do without you, please just stay with me.”

A small weary voice answered his plea. “I thought I had already told you.”

Loki looked down to find Leah staring at him “Told me what? He asked with a smile, she was all right.

“That you won´t get rid of me that easy” Leah answered

“Leah! You remember!” Loki squeezed her tightly against his chest.

“Oww” Leah complained, his sudden movements made her feel dizzy apart from the fact he was holding her too tight.

“I’m sorry” Loki softens his grip on her. “Do you remember everything?” He asked Leah excited.

“I think so” Leah volunteered. “I remember your voice …”She told him as she raised her hand to touch his cheek. “ I remember your voice calling for me right after the light hit me and then it all went black.” Then she added. “I’m sorry I should’ve stayed away from the window.

“It doesn´t matter” Loki acknowledged. “Doom would´ve destroy the whole penthouse just to get to you.”

“That sound s bit extreme, but after all he’s one spiteful bastard.” Leah reasoned.

“He is.” Loki agreed. “Are you all right? Can you get up?”

“No, not yet. Everything hurts, especially my head. I feel like a rag doll.” Leah confessed. When Loki moved her in an attempt to carry her back to their room Leah complained loudly. “Wait! Please, can´t we just stay here for a while? It is beautiful … it´s been so long since I saw a tree up close.”

Loki frowned at first considering if he should just heal her, but voted against it, he should let her body recuperate naturally, he had healed her with his magic much often than recommended. “If you want” He told her while he carefully exanimated the back of her head, he found a bump. “You must have hit your head when you fell, that´s why it hurts” He explained her. “About that, I’m sorry I got so angry at you.”

“No, you were right, I’ve been selfish. I was feeling lost and I hurt you when that was the thing I least wanted to do and I´m sorry. “Leah volunteered” Besides if we hadn’t fought I wouldn’t have found this place and my memories wouldn’t had come back.”

“Now that you mentioned, why did they?” Loki asked with curiosity.

“The reflection of the sun bounced in some glasses, it made me remember …” Leah volunteered with a bit of discomfort.

“Ahhh!” Loki answered, maybe he should wait for her to recuperate before asking more questions.

“Loki? “ –Leah asked after a few minutes

“Yes” He replied while down casting his eyes to meet hers.

“I love you” Leah confessed.

“I know” Loki acknowledged while gently kissing her mouth.

“Should we look for her?” Loki asked Clint

“No, I think it might be better if I talk to her alone first. Can you take care of Eerika?” Clint asked him in return; somehow he doubted Loki had any clue about how to take care of a baby.

“I really don´t have any experience with babies.” Loki acknowledged “But if you teach me what to do …”

“All right” Clint smirked, he knew it; he would have to explain everything to Loki. “Rule number one: Never do anything Leah wouldn´t do.”

Loki raised his eyebrows amused by Clint´s statement. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly serious, if you want to keep your head where it is you will follow that instruction to the letter at all times. Believe me, you don´t want to know what would happen if you don´t.” Clint volunteered.

“Are you talking from experience?” Loki frowned intrigued.

“Maybe” Clint responded playfully.

It took Clint half an hour to explain Loki the basics after which he directed himself to the training room, when he arrived he could see Leah furiously jabbing the punching bag. Sand was falling from it, she had managed to punch some holes through it.

“You are not practicing” Clint scolded her.

“Does it even matter? You just wanted me out of there.” Leah responded as she hit the bag one more time.

“Not really, you are right. Will you stop that? We need to talk.” He told her.

“There´s nothing to talk about” Leah snap back at him as she holds the bag in place. Clint was able to notice the bruising on her knuckles; she must had had been knocking the bag pretty hard to cause them.

“You are right, is normal for you to punch the bag until your knuckles are bleeding” He spat at her.

“They are not … bleeding” Leah raised her hands to check them, they weren´t bleeding but if she had kept at it much longer they probably would. She couldn´t deny it, she wasn´t all right. “What´s happening to me Clint? I feel like I´m losing it.” She finally acknowledged in a defeated tone.

“I know girl, sit with me.” He motioned her to the benches near the wall. “You went through a terrible ordeal yesterday, your mind is still trying to find ways to cope with it. That´s why you can´t remember everything, some details must be truly hard for you to handle so you´re blocking them. And in the process you´ve been pushing Loki away.”

“I know. I was terrible to him, wasn´t I?” Leah told him with guilt in her voice. “I just don´t know how to be around him anymore.”

“Why?” Clint asked her preoccupied. “Is it because of doom? Did he … do something to you? Did he …? – There really wasn´t an easy way to ask her.

“Rape me?” Leah finished his sentence for him. “No, he didn´t, it´s just that … I´ve been having nightmares and flashbacks of him … touching me.” Leah felt both silly and uncomfortable telling him that.

“What do you mean by touching you? For God´s sake Leah tell me what happened. “Clint questioned her anxiously while he tried to remain calmed.

As Leah remained quiet Clint sighed frustrated and told her “If you keep acting like this you´re going to lose them. And then it won´t matter if Doom is alive or death; he would´ve won.”

Leah realized that if she wanted things to get back to normal she had no choice. As she sighed he began her recollection. “When the attack began Bruce told me to hide with Eerika. I had no comlink, no weapons and no clothes; only the medical gown and hospital robe so I decided to hide with Eerika in the nursery. I thought we would be safe there but Doom found us. He tore down one of the walls to break in, a huge crack opened in the floor all through the room. I was trapped and Doom knew it, he even mocked me about it. “No one will be able to help you, my doombots will see to that.” That´s what he said. Then he told me his plans, to take Eerika as his apprentice and eventually marry her to his heir … the one he expected me to produce.” Leah said with disgust as he continued. “If I went willingly in exchange he would free Loki. He cornered me, I was trying to find a way to escape when he suddenly caressed my cheek with his metallic hand, he was so sure I couldn´t escape he even slid down the medical bathrobe from one of my shoulders.” Leah expressions changed from furious to distraught, as if she couldn´t settled in one. “I still remember his icy touch over my skin. If he hadn’t been so busy gloating … If he had decided to rape me right there I wouldn´t have been able to stop him.” Leah was looking nervously at the floor while caressing her hands anxiously; she didn´t knew when she had started trembling but she couldn´t stop. “I have never felt so vulnerable ever before in my life.” She added. “Nor that scared if I hadn´t noticed we could escape through the rift … I don´t know what could´ve happened.”

“But you did” Clint volunteered. “Even if you thought everything was lost you kept fighting. You might have felt you were at his mercy but you weren´t; not as long as you hadn´t give up.” Then he extended his hand to her, Leah looked up at him confused. “I never thought about it like that” She acknowledged as she placed her hand in his.

“I know.” He winked an eye at her as he closed his hand on hers. “You have to stop being so hard on yourself, you did the best you could under the circumstances. If I had knew Doom was going to be your first opponent I´d done things differently. But I´m afraid you´ll have to be brave for a little more.”

“I wasn´t brave, I was weak when it counted the most.” Leah grimly told him.

“Sometimes you need more courage to spare a life than to take one.” Clint volunteered. “Think Leah, what would´ve happen if you had killed Doom?”

“He wouldn´t had hurted me.” Leah plainly told him.

“He hadn’t told her.” Was Clint first thought. “No, you would be on one of SHIELD´s prisons. But Leah, Doom didn´t just hurt you … he killed you.”

“What? But I´m still here!” Leah quickly snapped, was she imagining this whole conversation? What if in fact she was really death? No, that couldn´t be, she quickly dismissed the idea.

“Thankfully Loki, Steve and Thor wouldn´t give up on you. They brought you back to life.” Clint explained to her.

“I can´t remember any of that … why can´t I remember?” Leah asked him in anguish.

“It´s not something you´d like to remember.” Clint volunteered.

“But I need to. Please tell me what happened. I need to know.” Leah pleaded.

“I wasn´t there when it happened, you´d better ask Loki to tell you.” Clint suggested, she might have questions he didn´t had the answers to.

“I can´t, Not after how I´ve been behaving. He´s probably still angry at me.” Leah replied ashamed.

“Don´t be silly, he´s worried sick about you. He´s even changing diapers for you right now.” Clint joked trying to make her smile.

“Loki?” Leah asked surprised. “You are kidding me, he wouldn´t know how to do that.”

“That´s why I taught him how” Clint answered with a smirk.

“Oh God!” Leah hid her face between her hands, now she felt even guiltier.

“What´s wrong?” Clint asked her confused. “He´s her father you know, he can handle a few dirt diapers.”

Without raising her head Leah told him. “I didn´t gave it that much thought, I think I just assumed he wouldn´t. You know Asgardian royalty and stuff. And me … I wasn´t even able to pick her up … I´m a terrible mother” She raised her gaze as she told him. “Maybe they would be better off without me.”

Without any warning Clint slapped her angered at her last remark. “Don´t you even dare to think that!”

Leah looked at him shocked, tears were running down her face while she nursed her throbbing cheek. She felt too angry to say anything, angry at herself, angry at Clint, angry at the memory the slap just triggered. Angry because she knew Clint was right if she kept acting like that Doom would´ve won.

Clint kept staring at her waiting for a response, she held his stare angrily at first but as moments elapsed her anger fade into hurt. As heart-felt tears replaced the angry ones she was unable to hold his stare any more and just broke down.

Once she did Clint hold her tight. “It´s ok Leah, let it all out.”

As her sobs quieted after a while Clint told her. “Remember the girl that stabbed Doom yesterday? We need her back, she wasn´t scared.”

“But I was.” Leah interrupted him. “I just didn´t thought I had a choice.”

“Well, sometimes being brave is doing things even if you are scared to do them.” He volunteered kindly.

A sudden flashback flooded her memory. “Steve told me something similar … on the penthouse.” She said trying to hold on to the memory that just faded away.

“You are starting to remember” Clint said cheerfully.

“Not really, just bits and pieces.” Leah told him disappointed.

“It will come back in time.” Clint reassure her. “Just be patient, and stop hiding things, That´s not helping you.”

“I know.” Leah sighed. “I should talk to Loki, right?”

“Yes, I think you should, he needs to understand what´s happening to you so he´s able to help you.” Clint agreed. “I´ll walk with you, if you feel up to it you can spend some time with Eerika, or if you two need to talk I´ll take care of her.”

“All right” Leah agreed, she did wanted to see her daughter, although the prospect of taking top Loki didn´t appealed her so much.

As they walked in they could over hear Loki talking to Eerika, he was in the rocking chair cradling her in his arms “… so you see little one mum helped us when we needed it the most and now it´s our turn to help her get better.”

Leah had frozen on the door frame as she heard his words, Clint noticed almost instantly she had stayed behind when he turned back he saw her eyes were overfilled with tears. “I … I can´t.” She said in a whisper as she ran away to the only place she knew in their new home, their room. She loudly closed the door behind her alerting Loki of their presence.

Clint watched her until she disappeared behind the door, he sighed as he walked into the nursery.

“Clint, what just happened?” Loki asked him concerned.

“Leah overheard you talking to Eerika, I guess it was just too much for her to handle, she went crying back to your room.”

“Crying? But why? Did I do something wrong?” Loki asked him confused.

“Not at all, she´s just too sensitive at the moment. You might want to go to her.” Clint suggested.

“Dis you talked? What did she said? Did Doom do something to her?” Loki asked anxiously.

“Yes, we talked. It’s not as bad as we feared but it will take her a while to get over it.” Clint explained.

“Thanks the norns!” Loki sighed in relief.

“Yes, but she´s still hurting bad, she´s been having flashbacks” Clint explained Loki everything that Leah and him have talked, though he refrain from mentioning the whole slapping incident. He didn’t´ need to worry about the reason he had slapped her.

“I see” Loki acknowledged. “She just should´ve told me.”

“She was probably too ashamed or too scared to do so.” Clint volunteered. “Go to her, I´ll take care of Eerika.”

As Loki walked into their room he could hear Leah´s muffled sobbing but he couldn’t see her anywhere. “Leah?” He asked out loud hopping to locate the source of the sobs.

Leah didn’t answered but he could hear her sobs grow louder; she was in the dressing roiom. He approache dteh door and asked “Leah, could tou come out please?”

“No!” Leah whined at the top of her lungs, she was too embarrassed to come out, she´d been crying like a child all that time.

Loki sighed. “All right. I´m coming in.” As Leah didn’t answered he thought “Well, I´m taking that as a yes.”

When he walked in he noticed the lights were out, he looked for the light switch and turned the light on; there was no sign of Leah, only some scattered shoes and clothes on the floor. “Where are you?” He asked intrigued.

“Here” Leah answered between sniffling’s, she had hidden under a rack of clothes.

As Loki knelt to look for her he told her surprised “How on earth did you got there?”

Leah bolted into his arms knocking him onto his butt. “Loki!” She whined. “I´m soo sorryy” She bawled, thick tears were running down her cheeks getting Loki´s clothing wet. “Please don´t leave me.” She shrieked out loud as she kept crying. She felt as if her heart was tearing apart.

“I would never leave you.” He reassured her.

“I don´t deserve you.” She bawled as hard as she could.

Loki was taken a back at her outburst, he hold her tight. “You are the only worthy woman in all the Nine Realms as far as I´m concerned. Would you please stop crying?”

“I can’t” Leah confessed through even more tears.

“Oh, Leah!” Loki kept holding her tight waiting for her to calm down.

When finally her crying subsided Loki noticed she had cry herself asleep.

He carefully carried her over their bed, he could still see some tears running down her cheeks; her nose was red, her eyes would probably be red also, it made her look paler than she was. His shirt was damped both by tears and snot, but she looked peaceful now. He changed his shirt and then suddenly questioned himself, had Leah eaten something yet? He walked to the nursery to ask Clint.

“No, she hasn´t ate anything while she was with me” Clint told him, as he noticed Loki´s eyebrows frowning with worry he asked him. “When was the last time she ate something?”

“I´m guessing the night before the attack.” Loki volunteered.

“That’s over 36 hours! You need to get her something to eat when she wakes up. I I can’t believe she didn’t said anything.” Clint exclaimed upset.

“She did, but then we got into a fight and …” Loki started to explain.

“And then I sent her away from the kitchen.” Clint added.

“Yes, but I have the feeling she wouldn’t have said anything if we hadn´t been fighting already.” Loki told him.

“Probably, there´s too much on her mind, I guess eating isn´t a priority.” Clint reasoned.

“Probably” Clint agreed.

“We need to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn´t stop eating.”

“I know” Loki agreed as he volunteered. “I´ll cook her something to eat”

“All right, though you probably should stay with her until she wakes up. She might be scared if she wakes up alone.” Clint suggested.

“Are you sure?” Loki asked Clint.

“Yes” Clint smiled “Go ahead, little pumpkin and I are getting along just fine.”

“Little pumpkin?” Loki asked amused.

“It´s just a pet name. Besides once this crisis is over we´ll have other matters to worry about. Who knows how long it will be for things to settle down.” Clint told him on a serious tone.

“What do you think happened after we left?” Loki asked him.

“I don’t know. Fury really didn´t had a case against Leah, not unless Doom wanted to explain what he was doing in the Tower and press charges. So I don’t think he would accused them of aiding a criminal to escape or something like that. I just can´t believe he would invent such shady charges to get her, it doesn´t sound like him. Either way we should wait for things to cool down before finding out. They´ll be fine, don´t worry.” Clint reassured him.

“… on the other hand your genes seem to have excellent compatibility match with magic.” Doom had her cornered, she could feel his breath over her skin. Leah´s heart rate increased as she tossed restless in her dream, she was helpless.

Suddenly Doom raised his hand to caress her cheek.

“You know you are trapped.” He mocked her.

“No!!!” Leah screamed in her dream waking herself up, she immediately sat up shaking, her breathing was accelerated, cold sweat enveloped her. Suddenly she was acutely aware of her surroundings, it wasn´t the Avengers Tower, where was she?

Loki had woken up when he heard Leah scream and swiftly wrapped his arms around her, it wasn´t the first time she had a nightmare but she never screamed herself awake before. “Leah, you are all right. It was only a dream” He tried to comfort her.

Leah was startled by his touch, out of reflex she tried to wriggle herself out of his embrace scared. “Leah! Leah, stop fighting! It´s me Loki.” He raised his voice as he hold her closer.

“Loki?” Leah turned her head towards the sound of his voice. “Loki! Thank god.” She turned to hug him.

Loki could feel her shaking as she hold him tightly, he could even hear her heartbeat running fast.

“What happened?” she asked him, but before he could answer her question she quickly asked him more, “Where are we? Where´s Eerika? What happened with Fury?”

Loki hold her by her shoulders as he looked into her eyes he asked her. “What´s the last thing you remember?”

“Fury wanted to arrest me for stabbing Doom …” Leah doubted for a moment. “I pointed an arrow against him, he draw his gun at me, but why would I do that?”

“And before that?” Loki asked hopeful, maybe her memories were starting to come back.

Leah frowned as she tried to remember, there was a big gap she couldn´t fill in; finally she told him “Doom was pushing me to get into his aircraft and I fell. She looked at him dubious, she had a feeling her answer was wrong.

Loki sighed disappointed, her memories were still incomplete; he proceeded to explain her what happened during her quarrel against Fury, where they were and Eerika’ s and Clint´s current whereabouts.

“Can I see her?” she asked him anxiously, she longed to hold her in her arms.

“Sure, she´s probably asleep but we can go to the nursery if you want” Loki agreed with a smile.

As Leah moved a sharp pain came upon her, it was her chest, she had no memory of her broken ribs.

Loki cursed himself mentally for forgetting about her wounds as he told her “Wait, let me help you with that” A green aura travelled from his hand towards her wrapping her up completely.

Leah looked surprised, the pain was gone. “What did you do?” She asked as she touched her chest to make sure it didn´t hurt any more.

“I only speeded nature´s course” He answered glad she wasn´t in pain any more.

Soon they were on their way to the nursery which was only a door from their room, Leah admired amazed the golden letters in the door. As they walked in they were met by Clint who was in a rocking chair cradling a sleeping Eerika in his arms. He put a finger on his mouth cautioning them for silence as he whispered “She just fell asleep a few minutes ago.” Then he added. “I´m glad to see you back on your feet, I´m guessing Loki healed your wounds.”

“Yes, he did.” Leah whispered back as she watched her daughter attentively.

“Do you want to carry her?” Clint asked with a smile.

“I …” Leah started to extend her arms when flashbacks invaded her mind of Eerika crying while falling from the Avenger´s Tower, of Eerika crying while she left her over Loki´s chest; she quickly withdraw her hands. “I … don´t want to wake her up. Maybe in the morning.” She nervously answered. Even if she tried to hide it both Loki and Clint noticed something was wrong, she suddenly had paled up but neither of them said anything at the moment.

Leah looked at Eerika one more time with longing as she excused herself. “I´m still tired, maybe we should get some rest before it´s morning”

“Of course, you need to rest.” Clint agreed, he hoped it was only weariness, but he feared it wasn´t.

Loki looked intrigued but even so agreed. “Maybe she does need to rest” He thought. “We´ll see you in the morning then.” He told Clint as he followed Le3ah out.

“What happened?” Leah asked herself, why hadn’t she hold her child? The flashbacks, she had tried to protect her from Doom but she had the nagging feeling she had failed to do so, only Loki can protect her; you are too weak to keep her safe she scolded herself mentally.

As they both went to their room Loki looked at her worried “Are you sure you are all right?” He asked while gently caressing her cheek.

Inadvertently for him his loving gesture triggered an unpleasant memory of Doom that flooded Leah´s mind for a second. She shivered for an instant but decided to hide it from him.

“Sure, I just need some sleep.” She lied with her best smile.

Loki wasn´t fooled at all but decided to let it slide.

“Come then, let’s get some sleep.” He invited her into their bed. Leah climbed up reticent, she felt anxious, that if he touched her she would be overwhelmed with flashbacks and then she wouldn´t be able to hide just how weak she felt. “I really want to sleep.” She volunteered nervously.

“All right” Loki nodded kindly as she carefully climbed next to him.

“Good night” She said with a swift kiss as she turned her back to him and closed her eyes.

“Good night” Loki answered worried by her behavior; I was almost as if she was scared of him. Maybe her nightmares would explain her behavior, he would ask her in the morning; she didn´t seem to be in any disposition to talk for the moment. So he closed his eyes ready to sleep but not before taking another look at her, she was alive, that was all that mattered.

Leah tried to fall back asleep but she couldn´t, she tosses restless all through the night, she kept relieving the day before; she blamed herself for being weak, for not killing Doom when she had the chance.

When daylight broke through their window Leah sighed frustrated “So much for sleeping.” She thought. “Maybe If I take a hot shower I´ll be able to relax. I´m sure there must be a bath here somewhere.” She carefully stood up making sure not to wake Loki up, there wasn´t anything on her side of the bed except for a small nightstand, maybe on the other side. “There it is, a door.” She smiled as she turned the door open, it was dark, she reached for the lights switch when she finally found it she could see it was a large dresser room, on the other end of it there was another door. She walked in admiring the clothes, dresses, suits, jackets, shirts, blouses, shoes, when she reached the other door and opened she smiled, it was the bathroom. “Great, now I need some clothes, let´s see what I can find.” She ran through the drawers and finally found lingerie in one of them, next she choose some jeans and a blue baseball jersey, she didn´t understood the sport completely but she loved the jerseys. “I never thought he noticed that.” She thought to herself, also everything was the right size “He knows me too well.” She acknowledged. “Better that I know him.” She wryly added. “Stop complaining.” She admonished herself mentally.

She kept opening the cabinets until she found some towels, without further thought she undressed and step into the shower, as the hot water touched her skin she sighed with relief, it felt so good. She washed her hair but when she started soaping her body she found a circular scar on her chest above her right breast near her shoulder, she froze disquiet, what was that? What could´ve happened to her? And more importantly why she couldn´t remember when she got it? She knew it was a life-threatening wound, it didn´t make sense, she should remember something like that. “What happened to me?” Trembling scared she reached with her left hand over her shoulder and blindly touched her back in search for something she hoped wouldn´t find.

As the water from the shower fell it sound awoke Loki, he drowsily looked for Leah by his side; when he couldn´t find her he raised his head and recognized the sound of water falling. “She must be in the shower” Then he stretched lazily before sitting on the edge of the bed yawning, he directed himself to the bathroom; he could see her through the glass door. She was washing her hair, he quickly pulled some clothes out and began to undress ready to join her in the shower when he heard her gasp as he turned concerned he saw her reaching her back with one hand, suddenly she froze, her breathing became a panting, something was wrong. Still with his underwear on he ran to her, even under the hot water she was trembling, she didn´t even noticed him walking in. Loki hold Leah by her shoulders and shook her slightly trying to snap her out of her trance “Leah! Leah! What´s wrong?”

She looked up at him extremely confused, she frown preoccupied as she asked him. “This scar … how …”The moment she touched it again to show it to Loki a violent flashback hit her, a white bright light and an excruciating pain she raised her hands to her face protectively, it was as if something had hit her; she couldn´t find her breath.

“Leah! What happened? You saw something?” Loki kept trying to make her react, he couldn´t let her fall into panic.

Finally Leah pull herself out of it, between ragged breath she stutter her answer “I … don´t … know … a bright light and pain” Shaking still she searched blindly for the security of the wall behind her and slid to the ground. Loki knelt worried in front of her.

“Why can´t I remember?” She suddenly asked without raising her head.

“It will come back to you, just give it time.” Loki tried to reassure her.

“What happened to me?” She finally raised her eyes to meet his as she begged him “Please, I need to know.”

“All right, but let´s get you dress first.” Loki agreed as he helped her up.

Leah nodded her head affirmatively, she felt weary; as Loki wrapped a towel around her he noticed her fatigued gaze. “Did you get any sleep?” He asked concerned.

“No, I … I tried. But I just couldn´t.” She confessed. After a few moments of silence she spoke again. “It was all my fault, right? Because I didn´t kill him, because … I was weak.”

Loki was busy wrapping a towel around himself when Leah´s question made him turn to see her; he was shocked, he just couldn´t believe what he just heard, how could she think it was her fault?

“No! Leah, no! How can you even say that?” He hugged her tightly against his chest “It wasn´t your fault, nothing that happened was your fault.”

“But I should´ve killed him. I don´t know why I didn´t.” She told him between tears “I should´ve ended right there. Why won´t you say it? It was my fault, Doom did this to me and I let him do it. It´s my own fault I got injured, that´s why I can´t remember. Just tell me!” She pleaded in despair, nothing made sense to her anymore.

Loki leaned his head into hers, he hated seeing her like that, as he sighed he told her. “It wasn´t your fault, you have to stop blaming yourself. You did more than you should´ve done, you saved us, you saved Eerika, and you saved me. We would be Doom´s prisoners if it wasn´t for you. I don´t blame you for not killing him, I´m grateful that you didn´t. You are not a killer, and there´s no shame on that.”

Leah dried her tears as she listened to him, she wanted to believe him, but she refused to do so, suddenly her stomach growled loudly.

“I´m hungry …” She told him weakly, she just didn’t wanted to argue any more.

Loki looked into her eyes, he could see the doubt in them. He ran his hand through his wet hair as he bit his lip he nodded in agreement. “Let´s go to the kitchen then.” She was right, she hadn´t had anything to eat for over 24 hours; he admonished himself mentally for not remembering it when she woke up during the night.

They quietly dressed lost in their own thoughts. As they finished Loki guided Leah towards the kitchen where they found Clint sipping a cup of coffee while a baby´s monitor rested on the table.

“I´ll fix you something to eat” Loki offered Leah.

“I can cook myself something” Leah spat angrily. “And stop looking at me as if I were a wounded deer.”

“Do as you wish then” Loki growled angry, what in the nine realms was wrong with her?

Clint observed them without saying a word, her behavior confirmed his fears, Banner had gone ahead of himself with his diagnosis; something other than physical wounds was affecting her.

Leah started to cook her own breakfast when suddenly she became lost in her own memories leaving the handle of the turning spatula to close to the fire, when she absentmindedly retrieve it she slightly burned her hand. As she complained surprised nursing her burned hand Loki approached her concerned. “Leah, be careful. Let me heal that.”

“No” She dryly told him retrieving her hand from his. “It will serve me as a reminder to not be so clumsy next time.”

Loki was furious but before he could say anythi8ng Clint intervened. “All right clumsy, there´s a training room five doors to your left, go and practice your aim. For what I heard it´s as lousy as your cooking.”

Leah turned white with rage “Fine!” She yelled as she walked out of the kitchen.

“Why did you told her that?” Loki snapped at Clint. “Can´t you see she´s not all right?”

“I know Loki, sit down. We need to talk.” Clint told Loki calmly. “Has she been acting like this since she woke up?”

“Mostly” Loki answered shrugging his shoulders.

“Tell me everything” Clint requested.

As Loki finished telling Clint everything that had happened he grunted displeased.

“She´s having ASD” Clint finally told Loki.

“She´s having what?” Loki asked worried.

“Acute Stress Disorder, sometimes when a person is subjected to a traumatic experience they can´t cope with it. Leah is exhibiting all the signs, her inability to remember certain events, mood swings, feelings of guilt. I´ve seen it happen before mainly with rookies that accidently get caught in missions that turn out to be more than anticipated.”

“Can you help her” Loki asked in hope.

“Well, we´ve been playing psychologist with her all year. I think I can give it a try, but you´ll have to help. Basically she has lost her confidence, she feels weak and vulnerable but don´t treat her like that or it will blow out in your face as it just did. She´s probably scared of it happening again and not being able to stop it; that could be the reason she keeps blaming herself for not killing Doom. We need to reassure her that even if Doom is alive she doesn’t have to be scared of this happening again.”

“Isn´t that lying?” Loki asked Clint confused.

“You want to tell her that we can´t promise her that something like this won´t happen again?” Clint replied with irony.

“I guess not” Loki acknowledged “So we lie to her?”

“No, we shouldn´t lie to her, just don´t give her all the details. We don’t want to scare her more than she already is, which is probably the reason she didn´t carried Eerika last night, I can only guess but she probably thinks that she´s unable to take care of her or something along those lines. Frankly I´m surprised it took her this long to break down.”

“What do you mean?” Loki frowned intrigued.

Clint looked at Loki trying to decide if he should tell him or not, “Well Loki in less than two years she has lost all her family including her unborn son in an accident, then all of a sudden she became aware that you weren´t a dream and that she was pregnant again. Since then she´s face both her and Eerika´ s death in at least 3 occasions. She fought Venom to keep him from killing Steve among other stuff … and don´t you forget most of us gave her hell for escaping after you sent her back because you weren´t ready to accept your feelings and responsibilities to her. And the cherry on the top she faced Doom alone more than once; he menaced her with rape and your death. God only knows what he did to her while we were away that made Doom willing to kill her if he couldn´t have her.”

Loki nodded in agreement displeased. “You are right, I should´ve realized my true feelings for her before; but I can´t change what happened.”

“No, neither of us can.” Clint agreed. “But that´s not important right now. What´s important is to help her deal with what happened.”

“Tell me what to do.” Loki offered.

“We need her to talk about what happened, I´ve always had the feeling she´s not telling us everything. But she has to be willing to talk, we can´t force her; she´ll shut down if we do.”